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11
The following day, Jess woke in the spare room of the homestead before the birds had begun to sing. The snake had been nowhere to be found, and there was no way on this earth she was going to share lodgings with such a skin-crawling creature. Morgan had gone to the cottage with her, keeping guard while she’d packed her things. God love him. In the evening they’d watched a few episodes ofPeaky Blinders, a show Morgan loved, and she now did, too, while devouring toasted sandwiches for dinner and half a tub of cookies and cream ice-cream for dessert, before hitting the sack nice and early, in separate rooms of course. Today she would unpack and make this her home until she headed back to Florence. She was acutely aware she was now staying in the same house as the man she’d been in love with for years – she’d finally admitted it to herself, but over her dead body would she admit it out loud – so she knew she had to tread carefully, or risk ruining the fragile friendship they’d established. Because there was no way she wanted to lose him out of her life yet again, by her own doing. Little did he know that he might be meant to be in hers for a lifetime. She’d deal with that soon enough, if it were the case. But for now, she wanted to focus on the wedding. Excuse, or not, it felt like the right thing to do.
As she stretched her limbs to life, she looked around the room and smiled. It was cosy, with a wooden bedframe, matching bedside tables and dressing table, and a fluffy duck-feather doona that made her feel sleepy as soon as she climbed beneath it. And there were bay windows that looked out over the paddocks dotted with his beautiful horses and healthy Angus cattle. The four-bedroom, three-bathroom, two-storey sprawling Queenslander home was a far cry from her small apartment back in Florence, but in a way it felt like home. And she liked the sensation. She was going to savour it with all her heart, if only for this little while. What a dream it would be, to move back here with Chiara, so she could raise her darling girl in the same way she had been, with the mesmeric Australian countryside surrounding her.
If wishes were horses … beggars would ride.
Closing her eyes, she inhaled a big, appreciative breath, and then sighed it away. It was not quite dawn, and through the open curtains the sky was a moving kaleidoscope of lavender, scarlet and sapphire. On the flitter of breeze, she could smell the mango and lychee blossoms on the air, could sense the gentle waking of Mother Nature as the warmth of the rising sun stirred her great beauty to life. It was the gift of a brand-new day, to start afresh, to start over, to take steps to make things right. When the time was right, that was. Until then, Roberto and Shanti had her full attention, as did finding her passion back in the kitchen – cooking had always been her favourite pastime. Drawing in another deep breath, she forced her thoughts in the right direction, for all their sakes. She was here for their wedding. And that was it. There were no stones to be overturned right now, no new chapters to be written. Silverton Shores was her past. Florence was her inevitable future. She’d do well to remember that. Humouring the thought of ever moving back here with Chiara was ridiculous. She could never leave Nonno behind. Not ever. But then, once she learnt the truth of Chiara’s parentage, maybe it was going to be the only option? Because she’d want Morgan in his little girl’s life. Would it be a case of her having to choose between Chiara’s best interests and her nonno?
Damn her tempestuous thoughts. She needed to get up and do something constructive.
An hour later, showered, with a cup of tea and two pieces of Vegemite on toast in her belly, and eager to spend the day cooking up a storm, she strapped on an apron and got to work. First up was a batch of chocolate chip biscuits, then an orange and almond cake made with the oranges she’d just picked from Morgan’s tree out the front and the eggs she’d collected from the chook pen, then whatever else took her fancy for their dinner. Thankful for their new-found connection, she was going to make sure Morgan arrived home from his day working the property to a kitchen filled with home-cooked goodness, filled with her love. And as she hummed to herself, carefully measuring ingredients into a bowl, she couldn’t help but think about what a wonderful man he still was, even more than she remembered. The way they’d been so comfortable beside each other on the couch the night before, the way his laugh had filled the room, the way his fingers had twitched as he tried to resist another spoonful of ice-cream, the way she’d found it almost impossible not to love him all the more for how his company made her feel so at peace, and so happy. It was wonderful how life could be, if they were by each other’s side.
But it was a fleeting reality that would soon become a memory.
She shook her head, trying to clear how much she wanted to be with Morgan from her thoughts. She had no business thinking like this. He was her friend, and that was all. No matter what came, they couldn’t go back to what they were. They could only move forward, at the very least for Chiara’s sake. She couldn’t risk ruining the bond they’d once again formed by giving in to her desires. She needed to be on speaking terms with him if they were going to survive the possible bomb that she might eventually detonate in his seemingly peaceful world.
But as she rolled out the biscuit dough and cut perfect circles, she couldn’t shake the thought that maybe, just maybe, Morgan felt the same way about her. Could he still love her, just as much as he had the day they were meant to marry? No, that was ridiculous. Too much time had passed. Too much water had flowed beneath their bridge. Knowing the upfront, forthright man he was, he would’ve said something by now, surely. She shook her head again, trying to force the thoughts away, but they refused to budge. Damn it, couldn’t she get through one day without torturing herself with what they could have been, or fantasising about what they could be, if given half a chance.
Stop being ridiculous, Jess!
Taking it upon herself to snap the hell out of her Morgan Savage trance, she spent the next couple of hours lost in her cooking and the music playing from the radio. Having decided on a slow-cooked chicken, bacon and mushroom dinner, coupled with cheesy mashed potato and steamed greens, she made sure she’d tidied the kitchen before settling herself at the dining table and opening her laptop. She couldn’t wait to see Chiara’s face, or hear her singsong voice as she relayed everything that had happened since they’d spoken two days earlier. Logging in to Skype, she eagerly waited for her daughter to answer.
As soon as the call connected, Chiara’s face appeared on the screen, her big blue eyes lighting up at the sight of her mother. ‘Hi, Mum!’ she said, waving excitedly.
Jess’s heart swelled with love and warmth. ‘Hi, my love. How are you doing?’
‘I’m good,’ Chiara said, grinning. ‘I miss you, though. When are you coming back?’
‘Only six more sleeps, sweetie, and I’ll be home.’
‘Yay!’ She turned and Nonno’s smiling face came into focus. ‘Hi, my sweet bella, how is everything going?’
‘Good, Nonno, really good.’
Slipping into her Italian lingo like a second skin, Jess went on to explain all the good stuff, and how she was really enjoying staying with Morgan, other than having a slithering late-night intruder. As usual, all three of them talked excitedly over one another, and laughed wholeheartedly. With the ache in her chest intensifying, she wanted to crawl through the computer and right back to her daughter and Nonno. She reminded herself that she’d made the tough decision to come to Silverton Shores for Roberto and Shanti’s wedding, without Chiara, and she couldn’t let the longing to be back with her loved ones overshadow the little time she had left here. She had to be strong for Chiara, for herself, and for her future. She also wanted to relish every second of her brother and best friend’s wedding – it had been a long time coming.
Wiping happy tears from the corner of her eyes, she sighed. ‘I suppose best let you both go, so you can get to sleep.’ She screwed her face up. ‘I miss you both, so much.’
‘We miss you too.’ Chiara opened her arms wide. ‘This much.’
‘Aw, sweetheart.’ Blinking faster, Jess kissed the screen. ‘Talk again soon, okay.’
‘Okay, I love you.’ Chiara kissed the screen back. ‘Bye, Mum.’
‘Love you both, with all my heart.’ She waved. ‘Bye for now.’
Both waved back and Jess pressed the end button before she broke. This time, before she gave in to her emotions, she opened up the wedding planner app on her laptop and began going through the checklist for the next few days’ tasks. She didn’t want Shanti to be a ball of stress on her big day, so she wanted to make sure she had everything well and truly covered. The flowers needed to be picked up from the florist, the cake needed to be delivered to the reception venue, the bales of hay had been vetoed and they now had seats, after a little persuading on Roberto’s behalf, and the photographer needed to be confirmed for the day. As she checked off each item on her list, she couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction wash over her. She was making progress. She was doing something productive. She was distracting herself from her own thoughts and feelings, even if just for a little while.
An hour later she was back in the kitchen, tending to the last of the dinner prep, when the sound of a diesel engine snapped her out of her reverie. Putting the creamy mash to the side, she wiped her hands on a tea towel and headed to the window over the sink. The Troopy was bouncing up the driveway, kicking up dust in its wake. It pulled up in the usual spot and Morgan got out, looking tired but happy to be home. Teeny leapt out beside him and lumbered towards the back door. She couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face as she watched him walk towards the house, his broad shoulders and confident stride as attractive as ever. For a fleeting moment, she imagined them as husband and wife, and how wonderful it would feel experiencing this scenario every day, for the rest of her life. Briefly dropping her gaze, she quickly checked herself. He was just a friend, nothing more. She took a deep breath and went to greet him, opening the door with a smile.
‘Hey there, welcome home,’ she said cheerfully, trying to push away any thoughts of longing.
‘Hey, Jess.’ Kicking off his boots, Morgan grinned and stepped inside, giving her a quick hug before directing Teeny to his corner of the room. ‘It smells amazing in here; what have you been up to?’
For a moment, she felt all of twenty again. ‘A spot of baking, and now I’m just getting dinner ready.’ There was a flicker of excitement in her belly as he surveyed the line of delicacies, like a string of fairy lights had just glimmered to life.
‘Wow, this all looks amazing.’ He turned back to her with his grin as wide as it had ever been. ‘It’s awesome to come home to a house smelling of yummy food,’ he said, his eyes lighting up. ‘You didn’t have to go to so much trouble, though.’
