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Jess didn’t know what to do, or what to say, so she stood there like a stunned mullet. Their small talk had waned, leaving them nowhere to go, with nothing to hide behind. She shifted from sandaled foot to foot, finding this rare uncomfortableness between them quite unsettling.
Morgan eventually sighed. ‘Come on, Jess, spill.’
Caught off guard, she shook her head and blinked – she wasn’t ready to spill anything. ‘What do you want me to spill?’
‘Righto, I’ll take the lead.’ He paused, inhaled, seemed to stand taller before tipping his head a little as he regarded her. ‘Why do you stay in Florence when you’re not happy there?’
She almost gasped but held it back. ‘Who said I’m not happy?’
He lifted his shoulders. ‘I just did.’
‘Uh-huh.’ Jess feigned indifference as she nodded ever so slowly. ‘And what makes you think you’re right?’
‘Your eyes.’ Two simple words said with utmost conviction.
And that threw her. ‘My eyes, huh.’ She managed a half-smile. ‘Interesting.’
‘People aren’t lying when they say they’re the windows to the soul, Jess.’
‘Mmm, interesting,’ she repeated.
Breathe, Jess, breathe!
Morgan took a step closer, so she was facing him. ‘Am I right, are you unhappy over there in Italy?’ His face was a picture of concern and compassion.
And this softened her reply. ‘Sometimes, yes, but not all the time.’
‘And do you feel happier here?’
‘Sometimes, yes, but again, not all the time.’
He grimaced, then nodded. ‘I see.’
She was about to askwhat do you see, Morgan? Do you see how much I care for you still? Do you see that I regret what I did to you, to us?
But just like he was doing now, she clamped her lips shut.
Don’t go there, she told herself, with a shake of her head. She had enough roiling emotions to deal with; she didn’t need to add how she felt, or didn’t feel, about Morgan. Soon enough, she’d be heading back to Italy to get on with her life, far enough away from him to avoid the flood of guilt she felt just by being near him.
He stepped a little closer. ‘Jess, please, talk to me.’ His face was etched with concern.
Even if she wanted to speak, the emotional lump in her throat was making it impossible. So she did all she could do, and wrapped her arms around herself to stop from falling apart.
As if sensing her inner turmoil, Morgan reached out to take her hand. ‘Whatever it is, just know that I’m here for you, okay?’ he said tenderly, his eyes meeting hers.
Jess felt the last little bit of her resolve crumble, and she leant into him, feeling his arms wrap around her in a comforting embrace. Burying her head in his chest, she breathed in his familiar scent, feeling safe, cared for, protected. They stayed like this for one joined heartbeat after another. He gently stroked her hair, trying to soothe her. If only she didn’t ever have to leave the safety of him. If only they could go back in time and do things over. But this was reality, and she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t stay here, wrapped up in him. So she untangled, and took steps back, making a safe distance between them. Morgan watched her, his eyes questioning. Jess could see the hurt in his gaze, and she knew that she was somehow breaking his heart all over again. She couldn’t let herself fall for him, not when she knew they could never be together. Not when she had a secret that could destroy everything.
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered, her voice barely audible. ‘I can’t do this tonight. I have to go.’
Morgan nodded and his jaw set in determination. ‘I understand,’ he said, his voice filled with regret. ‘But know that I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. You can always count on me.’
Jess forced a smile, even though her heart was breaking. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I’ll never forget that.’
‘Good.’ It was his only response.
‘I’m going to head back to the cottage,’ she said, her voice barely above a whisper. ‘Can you say goodbye to Roberto and Shanti for me, and just tell them I had a headache, please?’ She smiled sadly. ‘I don’t like lying, but I don’t want them to worry about me.’
He nodded. ‘Sure, will do.’
