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‘Oh, crap, yeah, sorry.’ He shook his head as though mad at himself. ‘I didn’t even think of that being the reason why.’
‘It’s all good.’ She flashed him a smile. ‘It’s easy to let slip after so many years.’
‘Not in the slightest, Jess, I promise you that.’ Heading up a steep rise, he changed gears. ‘I think of Enzo and Julie quite often.’
Jess found it odd he called both her parents by their first names, when he’d always called them her mum and dad, but she shrugged the thought off. ‘I still miss them both so much.’ She sighed forlornly. ‘If only we had more than one set of parents, maybe I wouldn’t have felt like I’d lost my entire world when they died.’
He remained silent, but the look in his eyes when he briefly turned in her direction let her know just how deeply he understood her, and how compassionate he was about her loss. She returned his gesture with a sad smile, stopping herself before she said any more on the topic of her mum and dad’s deaths. Sucking in a breath, she clasped her hands in her lap. Why was she suddenly so eager to pour her heart out, when she’d kept her pain holed up for all these years? She hadn’t even wanted to open up like this to Salvatore in all the years they were together. Was it being in Morgan’s presence that commanded her to speak the truth of her heart? She hoped not, because he might be shocked to discover what she hid there.
And that would be really bad, when she wasn’t certain of the truth herself, yet.
Rising panic about him uncovering her secret before she was ready to dig it up herself fuelled her into action. Maybe she should say something off topic, talk about something light, like small-talkers liked to do. But bearing witness to his rigid profile, the clenching of his jaw, and the way he was gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white, she decided the best course of action right now was to say nothing. So, apart from Teeny panting in the back seat, silence rode with them. It was obvious to her that Morgan, just like her, was keeping something buried deep down inside his soul, too, something that might have a hell of a lot to do with her. Was it residual heartache from their long-ago break-up, or was it something from the present?
Whatever it was, she couldn’t let her curiosity get the better of her.
Because soon enough, whether she liked it or not, she may need him to understand her choice of silence. And if that was to be the case, she prayed he was going to forgive her for it.
* * *
Late that afternoon, with his foot flat to the floor, and the sun appearing to be resting atop the mountain ranges, Morgan manoeuvred the winding road as he thought back to the few hours Jess had spent with him, fixing the fence and munching down on corned beef and pickle sandwiches. Unlike the first few minutes in the Troopy, on their way across the paddocks, when he’d silently battled his guilt at keeping such a secret from her, they’d managed to keep the conversation light, fun, easy. As she’d done as promised and gotten her hands dirty, he’d enjoyed her company, a little too much for his liking. Nine years clearly hadn’t proved long enough to prepare him for laying his eyes on her again, let alone being around her so much. But even though the attraction was still there, for him at least, he’d rather walk through a blazing fire than risk heartbreak a second time round.
What in the hell had he been thinking, agreeing to her staying in the cottage?
He hadn’t been in his right mind, obviously, because this unanswerable question kept circling as he momentarily glanced up from the white lines he’d been chasing in his classic candy-apple red 1968 HK Holden Monaro, to see an eagle seeking the same sort of freedom he was right now in the cloudless azure sky. In theory, he’d made himself believe he could pull this off. Roberto and Shanti had always been there for him, and he wanted to be there for his mates. What was two weeks in the grand scheme of things? But in reality, keeping such a life-altering secret from her was killing him from the inside out. Annie needed to seriously rethink her decision to remain tight-lipped because he was sick and tired of suffering beneath the weight of her cloak-and-dagger attitude towards the past. What she expected of him was morally wrong. Enzo and Julie were gone. And although he partially understood her vow of silence to them, the situation seemed to be evolving. Annie Sabatini needed to do the same. If she didn’t, she’d leave him no other option other than to do it for her. And he was sure as hell that wasn’t going to end well, especially for him. Not that he cared about himself; this was all about Jess knowing what she rightfully should. That’s what he needed to keep reminding himself.
Hugging the edge of the sheer drop into the Pacific Ocean beneath, he accelerated out of the corner and headed towards home. He’d been right in deciding he needed this drive, and another night in, over joining Jess and Annie at the cottage for dinner. Driving his classic car always gave him a clearer head, a sense of calm. He needed to hang on tight to the sensation. Just knowing of the elephant that would be sitting in the dining room of the cottage tonight made his moral compass spin backwards. He’d already been way too lenient. Way too understanding of one side of the story. It was high time the truth came out. He contemplated this as the V8 engine ate up the home stretch.
An hour later, he straightened from the sun-dappled day bed when he spotted fine dust rising up from the end of the driveway. Annie was incoming, and he needed to get to her before Jess did. Just knowing what he was about to say, if he hopefully got the fleeting chance, a sick feeling washed over him. Annie had clearly stated on more than one occasion that she wasn’t about to budge on her decision, but he wasn’t giving up. Especially not now Jess was so close he could reach out and touch her, if he chose to. Somehow, some way, he’d get Annie to see sense. He had to. So, taking steps towards where she’d just pulled up beneath the big old gum tree, he clenched and unclenched his hands as he pushed his growing anxiety aside.
Spotting him as she stepped from the driver’s side, Annie offered him a warm, wide smile. ‘Oh, hey, Morgan.’
‘Hey.’ He met her in the shade. ‘You got a minute?’
‘Of course.’ Shutting the door, she slung her handbag over her shoulder. ‘What’s up?’
‘I can’t do this.’ He spat the words out.
She eyed him cautiously. ‘Do what, exactly?’
Morgan cleared his throat. ‘Not tell her.’
‘Morgan, please stop, we’ve already spoken about this, over and over again.’ Her gaze pierced through him. ‘And like I have told you every time, you have to try and find a way to keep your mouth well and truly shut, for all our sakes.’
‘No, Annie, I do not need to keep my mouth well and truly shut.’ He’d begrudgingly agreed to stay mute before, many years ago, on the understanding that Annie would eventually tell Jess, and Roberto and Shanti, after Enzo and Julie’s deaths, when she went and visited Jess in Italy, twice. But every single time, Annie had found excuses, reneged, backed out. This time around, he was going to stand his ground.
‘Yes, Morgan Savage.’ With her warm smile well and truly gone, Annie’s resolute gaze narrowed. ‘You damn well do.’
Well aware he was poking a mama bear with a stick, he resigned himself to the fact that he had to follow his gut, or risk nobody ever knowing the facts, other than him and Annie. And he simply couldn’t live with that, or take such information to his grave like Enzo and Julie had. Because he knew deep down in his heart, in the long run, that Jess would benefit from knowing the truth. In fact, something told him it would make her life a whole lot better, and might even lure her back here, to Silverton Shores, where she and her daughter belonged.
‘Well, Morgan, say something?’ Annie’s tone was icy cold.
But Morgan refused to appease her. So their muted stand-off lasted a few more seconds before her sharp-eyed gaze pierced through his cool calm persona. ‘Please, I beg you, don’t go down that road, because it’s not going to end well, for any of us.’
‘I beg to differ, Annie, for everyone’s sakes, you have to tell the truth and make this right.’
She tipped her head, as if trying to understand him. ‘Okay, you tell me how this is going to change anything?’
Morgan couldn’t believe her ignorance. ‘Oh my god, Annie, it’ll change everything.’
