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PROLOGUE
Silverton Shores, way back when …
Watching through the windscreen of her mum’s shiny classic Volkswagen Beetle as she drove past the rolling waves kissing the white-sand shoreline, twenty-one-year-old Annie Sabatini tried to distract her racing thoughts. She’d messed up as a sixteen-year-old, big time, but over the past four years she’d done her best to make up for the mistake that had been the trigger for her family’s abrupt move from the hustle and bustle of Sydney to the sleepy Far North Queensland township of Silverton Shores. With a combination of hard work, resilience and genuine belief, she was proof that dreams really could come true. And unlike the shocking day she’d gone and shattered her mum and dad’s perfectly manicured world, along with her own, today her parents couldn’t be prouder of her achievements. Their prayers had been answered. Their eldest daughter was righting her wrongs. Come tomorrow, it was going to be the beginning of her new life as a nursing student at the University of Sydney. Today was going to mark the end of her exhausting uphill struggle to get there.
Or so she hoped.
As she slowed to match the fifty-kilometre speed limit of the township’s main street, a quick glance in the rear-view mirror confirmed seven-year-old Morgan Savage was thoroughly enjoying the toy plane she’d gifted him at the St Augustine’s annual church Christmas party two weeks earlier. Morgan didn’t live up to his last name – he was the sweetest of the three little boys she regularly babysat for a very fair hourly rate of fifteen dollars. Almost every cent had been tucked away for her move back to the big smoke, because moving out of home and into university dorms was going to be costly. Her parents were helping a bit financially, but she also wanted to prove that she could eventually stand on her own two feet. She hoped Morgan would be happy to wait in the car while she nipped in to see Father Harris. The boy’s little ears couldn’t hear what she was about to tell the priest in confidence.
Feeling the strong pull of her past, her stomach soured as she recalled the night she’d lost her virginity at a bonfire on Bondi Beach while under the influence of an entire bottle of wine. Barely sixteen, she’d been naive enough to believe she and her nineteen-year-old boyfriend were going to be together forever. Three days later he’d left town to backpack his way around the world, and she’d never seen him again. Word was he’d met and married a Dutch girl. Nobody knew of her deep despair at his sudden departure. Her devout Catholic parents had made sure of that – new town, new start, clean slate, stereotypical picture-on-the-mantelpiece family status intact – so they could bury their daughter’s secret nice and deep, down with the worms, so it didn’t ruin her father’s perfect reputation as a lay pastor. If the Silverton Shore locals ever discovered the skeleton in her family’s closet, their tongues would be wagging like a dog’s tail in a butcher shop. In a town as small as this place, gossip spread like wildfire, and she was mindful there were plenty of expert blabbermouths who would be keen to throw the lit match. And it was over her dead body that she, or her well-meaning, sometimes overbearing parents, would become the subjects of gossip among Silverton busybodies. Come hell or high water, she’d promised her mum and dad that she’d take this secret to her grave. As, in turn, would they. And a true Sabatini never made promises lightly. Up until this very moment, she’d made it her mission to remain silent. Her sweet, innocent baby girl deserved that much, as well as way more than she’d ever be able to give her.
She pulled into the empty gravel car park at the side of the quaint seaside church, beneath the cool shade of a blooming jacaranda tree. Ear-ringing silence fell as the rumble of the engine ended. Her insides tipped and tumbled at the very thought of what she was about to do, so she stole a moment to gather herself as best she could. Briefly regarding Morgan, who was clearly in a happy world of his own, and then looking back to the five front steps that would lead her towards what she believed would be her only hope of redemption before embarking on her new adventure, she sucked in a fraught breath, hoping to god she was doing the right thing.
‘What are we doing here, Aunt Annie?’ Morgan’s little voice came from the back seat.
Although she wasn’t an aunt through blood, she adored that he saw her this way. ‘Oh, I’ve just got to duck in and see Father Harris for a few minutes.’ She offered him a warm smile. ‘Will you be okay to wait here?’
‘Yes.’ He nodded enthusiastically with his tiny thumb held up. ‘I’m a big boy, I’ll be okay.’
‘Thank you, Morgan.’ Drawing in a shaky breath, she fumbled with her seatbelt then, grabbing her handbag, she stepped out and into the late-afternoon sunshine before she could change her mind. ‘I won’t be long.’
‘Okey-dokey.’ With the broadest of adorable smiles, he waved her off.
Annie’s steps quickened as the desperation to finally speak about the secret that had been tormenting her for far too long overwhelmed her. Surely their local priest wouldn’t repeat what she was about to disclose, no matter how shocking it might be. Wasn’t it his responsibility to keep everything he was told in confession hush-hush? She prayed it was so as she made her way into God’s sanctuary where the scent of incense lingered.
Pausing at the doorway, she momentarily felt as if she were somehow caught between her past and her future. Golden sunlight streamed through the stained-glass windows, making the religious depictions glow while sending a kaleidoscope of colours scattering across the wooden floorboards. Her eyes widened as relief struck her. It was a sign, as if God was calling her. She couldn’t bail now. She had to do this. Quickly dipping her fingertips in the holy water, she made the sign of the cross. Then, with her quivering bottom lip clamped between her teeth, she looked left to right in search of Father Harris.
He appeared through a doorway, which she knew led to his office. ‘Well, hello there, Annie.’ Reaching her, the silver-haired priest rested his weight on his walking stick. ‘You look concerned, dear. Is everything okay?’
Unable to hold his gaze, she glanced down at her feet. ‘Not really, Father.’ Fighting off the impulse to make a run for it, she sadly shook her head. ‘I was hoping you had time to hear my confession.’ Her voice was little more than a whisper.
‘Of course I can,’ he said, offering a compassionate smile. ‘Come now, my dear, follow me.’
‘Oh, thank you,’ was her quick reply.
She trailed him, her footsteps echoing as she slowly made her way between the pews and towards the ornate confessional box at the far-left corner of the church. With another gentle smile, Father Harris disappeared into his side. Slowly pulling back the red curtain, she stepped into hers and took a seat. She sat up straighter as she waited for him to get settled.
‘Okay, Annie, go ahead.’ His calming voice carried through the little latticed window.
Glancing down at her wringing hands, she took a breath. ‘Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.’
‘Tell me, how long has it been since your last confession?’ His tone remained soft, kind.
‘I’m ashamed to say it’s been many years, Father.’ Her pounding heart felt as if it were about to burst. ‘Too many.’
‘I see.’ He sighed softly. ‘Can you tell me why it has been so long?’
‘Yes, I can.’ She cleared her throat. ‘I was afraid that if I came in here before now, I’d say things that I promised my parents I wouldn’t.’ Tripping over words as her heart raced, she halted.
‘Go on, child,’ Father Harris gently encouraged. ‘When you’re ready.’
Nodding, she sniffed back red, raw emotion. ‘No matter how hard I try to keep quiet, I can’t keep this in anymore. It’s like my secret has grown so big I feel like I could burst if I don’t at least tell you, a man of God, what I’ve done, because hopefully, then, somehow, some way, I can find peace in my heart.’ A sob rose, and she choked it back. ‘But I’m also frightened that you’re going to think badly of me, and my family, when I confess.’
There was a short moment of silence, followed by his outward breath. ‘It’s clear you have a very heavy heart, Annie, so take your time, and when you’re ready, I’m listening to offer my support, and most certainly not to judge.’
The thought that she was about to reveal what her own father referred to as sordid details terrified her even more than she’d thought it would. ‘Okay, I just need a moment.’
Her eyes welled with fresh tears and she allowed them to tumble down her cheeks as she finally found the courage to expose her guarded heart. After a deep inhalation, the details she’d kept under lock and key tumbled from her quivering lips in quick succession, until there was nothing left to say.
