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“You created that bar with love. Saint, you work with Crow and Hunter with love. You are secure in who you are, in your happiness, in your life, enough to rescue a poor omega down on her luck because your heart is open and strong, because you have so much love in your life. How is that not love, Alpha?”
I open my mouth, but I have nothing.
In the shadows behind us, I catch Hunter’s scent, but he quietly retreats, and I look up at the moon instead.
“My mother left me in a market. She told me to stay and walked away. The last thing she said to me was that she loved me.”
Bethany turns towards me and puts a hand on my knee. “I am so sorry. That is an awful, awful thing to do to a child.”
“How is that love?” I ask her, refusing to acknowledge the pity in her eyes.
She scrunches her face up, and then sighs. “My mother got my father to help her with IVF. When I was two, she drove me to the farm and left me with my dad. He never wanted kids. He had no intention of having a child of his own, especially since he had an omega. Sometimes, I think about my mother and what she was like, and I think she must have been struggling. Maybe things were so bad that this was the best option. Because I was dressed nicely. I had my favourite toy. It didn’t matter that she never rang the doorbell, and I had to wait until someone woke up before I was found. Whatever was going on inside her was worse. And she must have loved me in her own way.”
I stare at her, my heart contracting. She knows how I feel. She understands. But she sees it wrong. Love left us alone. Love abandoned us. Love is the weapon our mothers used as an excuse to leave us behind.
“I’ve seen people do some desperate, desperate things to save the people they love. Things that look cruel. I saw a woman lie to her son so he wouldn’t see her pass from the illness that was eating her. A mother killed the father of her child to protect the girl. A boy of thirteen smiled and told everyone he’d eaten because his family was starving. I could tell you a million stories. So sad. But a million stories that would disprove your love is just a construct theory.”
I slide my hand down over her fingers. “Love is simply what people label the deeds they do. It’s not real. It doesn’t exist.” How can she believe this?
“Yes, it does. It can heal. It can be glorious. My family had that love. My dad and his pack. They had that once in a lifetime connection. It’s selfless and kind. It’s sacrifice and raw.”
She looks up at the moon, and she is suddenly so beautiful. Her hair glows in the light, the white strands catching themoonbeams and turning to white fire. My chest clenches, and I look away, tensing, unwilling to accept the draw this omega has over me.
“Are you looking forward to this heat?” I ask instead.
“Yes, thanks to you guys. I am. I was terrified. What if I ended up with some bad alphas? What if I didn’t find anyone? So many what-ifs, but there you were, and here we are. I am saved.” She exhales and her smile fades. “It's almost perfect.”
I want to take that sadness from her face. I want the smile back, but I’m confused by my own reaction.
“What would make it perfect?”
“Bringing home a pack to meet my family. Showing them I was right. Seeing Kelly and Raider again. I would love to catch up with Locke, Lia, and Ryn, my cousins. You’d like Locke. He’s a famous musician. Have you heard of Derision?”
I blink at her. “Your cousin is The Locke Raines?”
She laughs. “Yeah. He’s pretty amazing. Ryn is better, though. I don’t know what happened to her. She was always so sad as a little girl, like she had the world on her shoulders. Lia is beautiful. She’s like a female version of Locke. Those two would get into so much trouble together.”
“You have a big family.”
She closes her eyes, and I can feel the pain in her. “I do. I have an amazing family. Kelly was so protective of all of us. Raider has a terrible temper, but he is the sweetest boy alive. Aunt Auggie hugs everyone who walks into the house. Uncle Charles is always laughing. Sol strums his guitar in the corner with a mystery smile, and my dad,” she stops, choking on tears. “My dad is the kind of man who learned how to sew so he could make me a dress. I never wanted for anything because of him. He loves me so much, they all do.”
“Go home, forget about love, scent matches, and all this nonsense.”
“I can’t, Saint. They have that love. The way you feel about Crow and Hunter. That love you deny exists. I can’t go back without it.”
“What if you never find it?”
She stands up, moving more fully into the moonlight, staring up at the moon with an anguished face. “Then I’ll never go home.”
“Why not?” I say, frustrated. I stand up and move until I’m right behind her.
“Because if I’d have gone home, if I’d talked to them just once…I wouldn’t have had the courage to leave the farm again, and I would never have found what I’m looking for.”
I wrap my arms around her, hating the loneliness in her. Wishing I could take it all away.
“I can go back home now, though,” she says so quietly, I’m not sure if I heard it or not.
I sit on theedge of the bed and watch the sunrise. Hunter is sitting up silently, staring at the wall opposite the bed, while Crow is curled up, glaring at a spot just to my left.
