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“Don’t bring that shit up because we both know that don’t have shit to do with this. I want something with you, Le. I want you to trust me. I needed that shit, and I’m trying to prove to you who I am. To prove to you that the shit that you are going through, I’m man enough to handle that for you but at every turn, you push me away. You won’t get out of your own way.”
“What are you talking about, Prince, and why the hell are you trying to talk to me about a relationship I don’t even want? Trust what? I don’t trust a damn soul walking this earth, and I’ve told you that!” I snapped and regretted the words as soon as they came from my lips. He nodded his head and took a few steps back.
“Prince.” I sighed. As I stepped closer, he stepped back, and his small action shattered me. Everything inside of me wanted to tell him but I couldn’t get over the thing that was holding me back. The fear that when the truth was known all of this would be a distant memory anyway. I just wanted to hold on. One more second. One more hour. One more day.
“What does Hamp want with you?” That stopped all my motion. Instantly I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.
“What? How do you know Hamp?”
“I know he wants to kill you. I know he was the one sending those men to shoot at you.”
“How do you know that?”
“I’ve known for a while.”
“I…uh.” I reached for the words and came up empty. Every insecurity rose to the brim. No way he would still feel the same about me if he truly knew what happened that day. He knew something but he couldn’t have known it all. The only people who knew that were my sister and that monster that was in that room that I thought was dead.
“You know what, Le? Fuck it. You are safe here, but don’t even think about moving and going anywhere tonight.” Prince locked his eyes on me, and I nodded, understanding. He walked the other way without saying another word. Before he disappeared into the hallway, I called his name. He stopped andturned my way, but he didn’t move a muscle to shorten our distance. My mouth was so dry I could barely swallow, but I managed to do so as my feet moved toward him.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—"
“The only thing I am concerned about is the truth. You got that for me? You ready to tell me what this shit really about?” He hiked his eyebrow, and I saw so much distance in his eyes as he looked at me. It was like a switch had flipped just that fast. Once again, I was rendered speechless, not knowing what to say next, but the truth wasn’t an option. Everything inside of me screamed to tell him but one thing he said rang so true. I couldn’t get out of my own way. I didn’t know how.
“That’s what I thought.” He brought his hand my way and skated past my neck to tilt my chin up to him as I looked away.
“I can only choose someone who chooses me, Le.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and disappeared down the hall. The last thing I heard was the door slam before I turned around to sink into the couch. The tears threatened to fall. I wish I could’ve trusted Prince. Shit, I wished I could’ve trusted anyone. It was crazy enough to me that my best friend Satisa knocked down our walls and came into my sister's and I’s circle of trust. She just got the story today after almost two years. It had only been weeks with Prince. From experience, all men changed. It always started out well.
My phone rang, and I hopped up and ran to the kitchen when I heard my sister's ringtone.
“Girl!” I breathed out.
“Why the hell was you blowing me up, girl? You got me thinking something crazy!” she whispered into the phone.
“I’m okay. Are you okay?” I threw my back against the fridge, followed by my head, trying to grasp everything that just happened not even an hour ago. I really just saw him.
“Yeah, girl why wouldn’t I be? Chaz ass just getting on my nerves and staying under my ass because he is trying to make up the bullshit. I can’t lie he doing a good job.”
Tell her.
“Hey, what day are you supposed to be leaving for the fashion line?”
“Aww boo is that what’s wrong? I been feeling like things been off with us lately.”
“No Nesha.”
“I told you I would stay. It’s not even that important, especially after how everything is going.” She whispered the last part, and I could tell she was walking away or going further into a more private area.
“How can you say that? This is all you ever wanted to do with your life. I’m going to miss you so damn much but you are going for this opportunity. You will only miss it over my dead body.” I shivered at that thought and how much I meant it.
“Why are you talking like that? Is everything okay? Where are you at?”
“I’m fine. I just mean it, Nesha. You have given up enough shit behind my mistake. At this point, you need to go for your dreams. At least one of us needs to.”
“Hell no. Why are you sounding like this? I’m about to come to you.”
“Nesha! Nesha!”
“What?” she snapped. I had to call her name a few times because I already knew she was tracking my location and most likely putting on her clothes and shoes.
