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“I said I’m fine. Prince, please don’t. I get it. You want me in the bed every morning.” I saw her float around and start to place dishes in the sink with a force uncalled for. I stayedsilent and leaned back against the counter until she looked at me again.
“I don’t just want you in bed with me, Le. I want you at peace. What? Did we go to bed at midnight? It’s just now past six, and you've already cooked three batches? You must have gotten two hours of sleep.”
“I wanted to get up and make sure you had enough for the crew today.” She lied.
“You cooked enough yesterday, remember? You are up because you can’t turn your mind off.”
“I don’t need a damn shrink, Prince. Last time I checked, your degree was in contracting, not psychology.”
Fuck that little attitude.She was going through it in her own mind, and it was clear to see. I approached her. “Was last night too much for you?” I fully expected her to walk away, but instead, she stopped.Bingo!I continued while I had her attention.
“99 percent of problems can be solved by just talking. That’s what we need to do. The second time in that room, and the second time, you haven’t got a good night’s sleep. Is it too much, Le?” She wouldn’t give me her eyes as I spoke. I placed one hand behind her neck and craned it up to me. Her soft eyes dampened. Her mean ass was such a softy, and I loved it. “Don’t lie to me, Le Monroe.”
“Uh.” She stopped and wet her soft lips. “It’s not too much.” She turned her head away, and I turned it back gently.
“Then what is it?” I asked,
“I’ve never done anything like that with anyone, and I’m, um.” She trailed off.
“Scared?” I offered. She nodded and I let her slip from my grasp. “What makes you scared about it?”
“The sex was amazing. I enjoyed it maybe too much. I don’t know if that’s possible, but it was more. The words you were saying. That’s the part that made it so overwhelming. It was like I was drowning under your words. I feel like you were trying to manipulate me.” She turned, facing the opposite direction as she spoke. It was helping, so I didn’t move closer.
“I wasn’t trying to manipulate you. I am trying to learn you. Learn what makes you tick and make our sexual time together more satisfying for both of us. I won’t say I’m not trying to get inside your mind because I am. For me, sex is much more than just physical.” She turned to me, and naturally, I migrated to her, careful not to make her feel boxed in. “I think we unlocked a praise kink, Le.”
“Wow.” She said like a lightbulb went off in her head. “Then I fucking passed out. Embarrassing.” She placed her hands on her face, and I pulled them away.
“Embarrassing for who? I was trying to stop before you did, but you pulled me to you. When I saw your eyes flutter, I knew it was a done deal. I took care of you, though. You will get used to it, and we can move slower.”
“I don’t want to. I just have to find a way to deal with the emotion of it all. I feel like I’m obsessing.” She spoke quietly, and that pulled a smile from me. She was in my arms again.
“Believe me when I say I get it. You stir up big emotions inside of me, too. I meant everything I said. I appreciate it, and I am incredibly happy to have earned the vulnerability that you displayed to me last night. I don’t take that or you for granted. For that reason, I’ll cut down anything or anyone that stops us from progressing. I’m not willing to fall out of this position withyou because of something trivial. Even if it is your own intrusive thoughts. Your trust means the world to me and I am going to continue to earn that every day. There was a reason I wanted to wait before we got here. I know what all of this can bring.”
She pulled away again. Her hand rested on the kitchen island with her back turned. I studied her understanding her rhythm of processing. She knew exactly what she wanted to say, and she was working herself up to say it. Shit, I couldn’t blame her. My words flooded my system as well. She elicited something that hadn’t been uncaged in so long.
“Why is trust so important to you?”
“Because I gave so many a reason not to. The shit I took my family through, they have plenty of reason to second guess me. They and everything I go through professionally will be the same. You’ve seen that firsthand. I can’t have that with the person I will share my future with. I was serious about doing the work on myself. Becoming worthy to carry the responsibility of a family was my number one priority. So, looking at my woman and knowing that she has absolute confidence in me is a necessity for me. Not one that I demand but one that I will prove to be worthy of.” I turned her back to me. “Any more questions?”
“No, not right now.”
“I’m proud of you for expressing yourself to me. That takes a lot of courage.”
She nodded and smiled. We separated, and my stomach grumbled. I reached for a piece of the pound cake, and my hand was slapped.
“Prince, that is not breakfast. Aren’t you finishing the roof work today? You cannot go out in the hot sun with cake on your stomach. You need a real breakfast.”
“I’m starting to think yo pretty ass just like hitting me.”
“You need some protein on your stomach, Mr. I don’t eat while I’m working.”
“You funny. I don’t eat while I’m working. I eat a piece of this before I start when I get there. All this you make for everybody else, and I’m on restriction.”
She shook her head. “You are so spoiled. Like you don’t have everything you want to eat here. Eat it then. Still I will make you bacon and eggs while you get ready.”
“Damn, I love it when you listen.”
“Mmm hmm.” She sassed.
