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“I’m trying to respect the fact that you don’t want to talk about what’s bothering you, Le. Tell me what’s on your mind so that we can be clear. Let me put it to bed.”
Lesha
Let me put it to bed.Nigga put me to bed over there, looking like everything delicious. The last few days that this man hadn’t lived inside of me felt like years. It was more than that, and I knew it. I took a deep breath because I felt like I was going to combust if I couldn’t get my feelings off my chest. I hadn’t spoken about the text messages I found. I was trying to sweep it under the rug and tell myself I shouldn’t have been snooping in the first place. It was eating me alive.
“Well, I just want to know the truth. Look, Prince, you know I've been through so much shit, and at this point, no matter what happens between us, I can’t be mad. Just tell me the truth is all I’m asking.” My hands fumbled under the table. They were so clammy and sweaty that I was afraid to wipe them against my dress, fearing I would stain the dark blue fabric.
He placed his drink down and looked at me squarely. Those sleepy brown eyes had the same effect they always did whenever he looked my way. I loved this man more than sensibility and that scared the hell out of me. Because the whole reason I didn’t bring this up for days was I wasn’t sure I was ready to walk away from this. Prince had his hooks in me and there was nothing I could do about it.
“You keep telling me to tell you the truth and you haven’t asked me a question.”
“Let’s not do this game, Prince. You know what I mean. You have been sobusythese last few weeks. Breaking our dates and all. Things are changing, and I can say that it wouldn’t hurt me, but I’m a big girl. We promised no secrets when we entered into this. Please keep your promise to me. I deserve that. No I demand that.” I straightened my back, remembering the things he told me. He wiped his mouth with the napkin in front of him, threw it back on the table, and went for his wallet, signaling the dinner was coming to a close as quickly as it started.
“Let’s go.” He lifted me by the hand, and in a blur, I was moving toward the door. Prince’s long strides had me losing my breath. When my feet met the concrete, I pulled back, and his eyes blazed as he looked back at me. I was never afraid of what Prince might do to me physically, but at that moment, I saw everything on his face. This man was tired beyond belief. All the things he had on his plate and he never stopped. I shook my head before I started doing it again. No, my feelings were important. If I had a question, it deserved to be answered.
“All this just to not answer a damn question. Prince, really?” I folded my arms across my chest.
“Then ask me, baby.” He regained his flat-footed,I mean businessstance and penetrated my eyes.
“Are you cheating on me, before you answer, please just tell me the truth; I went through your phone and saw that while you have been at work, you’ve been flying. So I want the truth. I can handle it.” The air around me sucked in.
“No. And I would fucking never. I love you, Le. I mean that shit with everything inside of me. I’ve been working on things to surprise you. I didn’t want to worry you while I’m clearing things up for us. Our past won’t haunt us, Le.” I knew exactly what he was doing with that last phrase. It made me lookaround so that no one would hear even though they wouldn’t be able to decipher his words.
He stepped forward with so much determination in his gaze it unnerved me. Instantly I felt like a fool because I believed every damn word this man said. If I didn’t know before today, I knew at this very moment I didn’t just believe Prince. I believed in him. His character and all the things he promised. I never thought I would get to this place with any man. It took all of a few seconds for me to realize I was the one foolish. I should’ve just spoken to him sooner and all this angst I was feeling over the last few days could have been avoided.
“Look, Prince I…”
“Let me show you what has had me so busy. At least for the last few days.”
“No, I believe you. We should just go back and have dinner.”
“You deserve to know.” I looked down at my shoes as tears rushed to the brim. Something so simple, and I was going to be a mess. When I looked up, he was so close I could feel his breath. His hand went to the base of my neck and made me look into his eyes.
“I’m proud of you. Every time you feel some shit off, bring it to me. That’s how you speak for yourself, baby.” He thumbed away the tear that made its way down my right cheek and kissed my lips tenderly. I clutched onto him, and he broke us apart quickly.
“Don’t speak to me now. Let’s go.” He gripped my hand again. I giggled as I walked past a few people who saw our interaction. I’d be damned if I was embarrassed about having a human moment. I felt so free walking to the car with my man hand in hand. He opened the door, and I slipped inside. It waslike as soon as my cheeks hit the leather, I put two and two together that I had a surprise coming.
“Wait, you said you were showing me something.” I inquired as he cranked up the car.
“Only a few minutes. Yo pretty ass gone see.” He tossed me his phone, and I unlocked it to select the music for the ride.
“No city girl shit.” That pulled a laugh from me, and I knew he only said it to make me smile. I caught how beautiful the scenery was as we rode through the night. Riding through the city was something a country girl could never quite get used to. I thought for years I wanted to settle down somewhere slow and hide from everyone, but the more experience I had with Prince, the more I wanted to be around easily accessible things. Prince would drive, but with the way he worked, the last thing I wanted was for him to be behind the wheel an hour each time we needed to go somewhere.
“What you smiling at?” He must've caught my reflection out of the window.
“Just thinking about life. The future really.”
“I better be in it.”
“You might be.” I sat forward with a grin.
“Put this on. We are getting close.” Prince loosened his tie and dropped it in my lap.
“You serious?”
“Dead ass,” he replied. I was out of arguments so I slipped it around my eyes. When we pulled to a stop he came to my side, helping me out of the car.
“A few steps here. One, two, three.”
