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Killing Wyatt the way I did, it was brutal. And, as sick as it sounds, my hands flex now at the memory of driving that nail into his eye. At gutting the animal like the pig he was.
Is this what she sees now? Why isn’t she repelled? And how can I talk ofmaking love? I know what I am and now she knows it too. A furious, murdering monster. How can I utter the word love? How can Imake lovewhen none exists inside me? And to someone like her? She is innocent. She is desperate. She is alone. She is a stranger in a world of money and power and men willing and capable of murder.
This is my world. Not hers. My world where the stakes are life and death. What right have I to touch her with blood-stained hands?
“Zeke?”
I blink, pupils focusing on Blue.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
I sit down beside her and place the washcloth between her legs to clean her.
She touches my cheek. I look at her. “Zeke. Where did you go just now?”
“Nowhere.” I drop the washcloth to the floor and get to work on her cuts, letting this other side of me take over. The boy who once wanted to be a surgeon. The one who wanted to do good. To care. To help.
“Zeke?” she asks as I clean a cut before bandaging it.
I glance at her, raise my eyebrows to signal for her to continue but turn my attention to the next cut.
“What is it?” she asks again, touching my face to make me look at her.
“Nothing. Just thinking. Turn on your stomach. The damage to your back was the worst.”
I work in silence and Blue lies still. Only when I’m finished do I realize she’s fallen asleep. I stand, look down at her face. She’s peaceful like this. Innocent. And young. Nineteen. What am I doing with her? What the hell am I doing making love to her? I have no business touching her. When I started this, wait, no, she started it sending that letter, but when I took her from The Cat House that first night, it was to confront my blackmailer. To handle the situation however I needed to. I wasn’t expecting Blue to be, well, Blue.
We’ve come a long way since that night.
I exhale, switch out the light. I need a drink. But when I turn to go, Blue’s hand closes around mine.
“Stay with me.”
“Sleep, Blue.”
I see her shake her head in the light coming in from the windows. “Stay with me. Just for a little while.”
“I need to talk to Robbie. Figure out?—”
“I’m scared. I don’t want to be alone right now.” Her voice is quieter than I’ve ever heard it, her eyes red and wet. “Please, stay with me just until I fall asleep.”
I nod because hearing that she’s scared, well, there’s no way I can say no.
Not bothering to undress, I climb into the bed beside her and when she curls into me, I hold her. She lays her warm cheek against my chest. I feel the damp of her tears. I stare up at the ceiling, but I don’t say a word.
“Thank you for coming for me. Thank you for not forgetting me.”
I nod, not trusting myself to speak, and listen to her soft, even breaths as she drifts off, exhausted, back to the oblivion of sleep.
* * *
To my surprise,I sleep. I’d only expected to stay until she was settled, but I sleep until I’m awakened by the sun and a glance at my phone tells me it’s a little after eight in the morning. It also shows me all the missed calls from my brother. I’ll deal with those soon enough.
The sun casts a line of light across Blue’s face. Her breathing is soft and even, her face relaxed. I lift the blanket and slip out of the bed, seeing again the welts covering every inch of her body. Hoxton was brutal. He deserved his death. She’s alive. She’ll heal. And neither Wyatt nor Levi will ever hurt her again.
I tuck her in and walk out of the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind myself. I walk downstairs to the kitchen where I find a pen and paper and leave a note telling her I’ll be back soon in case she wakes up while I’m away. I consider whether to leave her phone. She’ll know I have the flash drive if I do. But it doesn’t matter anymore so I set the phone on top of the note.
She’s exhausted after her ordeal, and I doubt she’ll wake but just in case. I quickly splash water on my face in the downstairs bathroom and finger comb my hair before walking out of the house and locking the door behind me.
