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“No, that’s not it. It’s you, distracting me that’s wrong. I can’t believe I forgot to do the simplest of tasks today and pay the fucking electric bill that I had made an arrangement for. Now, they have shut off the electricity. See, I am distracted by you. I need to stay focused. Do you know how hard it is to be on top of everything?"
"No, but I know how lovely it is to be on top of you," Sergio says with a chuckle and rubs my arms, trying to lighten the mood and console me.
"This is not funny, and I am not anyone's joke. Can't you see that there is an obvious huge issue that I have to go and take care of right away. Get dressed. I have things to do."
"Nastasia, it's not that big of a deal. I can pay your bill. That is no problem."
“I am not a goddamn prostitute. Get the hell out of my apartment!"
"That is not what I mean at all."
"Oh yeah, that is certainly what it looks like to me. We are just fucking each other, and nothing more. So now you want to pay my bills? As what? A form of payment for my services?"
"No, not at all. I like you Nastasia. I mean, I really like you."
"Right, I give you pussy at the drop of a hat, and you think you like me."
"Seriously, yes, the sex and everything we have done thus far has been amazing, but I want more with you. I want to live life with you, Nastasia."
“Sergio,” I hang my head in the defeat of life, “you knew that I could not commit to anything more than what we originally agreed to. I am sorry, please go.”
He walks out of my apartment, out of my life, and out of my broken heart.
Chapter 6
Sergio
Thistravelingweekhassucked. I’ve pretty much been a hermit, not wanting to be around people, and those who have tried to talk to me have gotten their heads bit off.
I’ve sent a text to Nastasia each day, and I see that she’s read those texts. However, no response has come back. I want to say my heart is breaking, but I’ve never felt this way before, so I’m not really sure how to categorize it.
We are finally back home on Christmas day after the longest week of my life, and I will be spending the day with Coach and his family. They always host team members whose families are too far away to celebrate the holiday with them in the short, allotted time to do so between our game schedules.
The meal is all laid out on the table and looks divine, but my appetite is just not there. I’m not going to be rude and not eat, so I’m going to fill my plate and eat anyway and pretend that all is well with me and that I don’t have a huge hole in my heart.
Halfway through the five course traditional Italian Christmas feast, my phone rings. I pause and think about not even looking at it. It won’t be her anyway, and I don’t feel like talking to anyone else. Yet, I am drawn to looking at the screen. Fuck me.
“Hello, Nastasia?” I rapidly scoot my chair back and jump up as everyone around the table stops chatting and stares at me.
“Yes,” she replies faintly.
“Hang on a sec.” I hold the phone to my chest, looking at my coach. “Sorry, Coach, I need to take this call.” He nods his head in understanding, and I walk outside.
“Nastasia, are you okay?”
“No.” My heart sinks. “I mean, yes,” she says and sniffles.
“What happened, sweetheart?”
“You.” Oh, no, we’ve been down this road. “I can’t believe you did such a thing for my family, Sergio. A cashier's check for €100,000 written out to the vineyard. That was way too generous. Your heart is so big. Thank you,” she sobs.
“Please stop crying. It breaks my heart,” I urge her. It’s tearing me apart. “I don’t ever want to upset you.”
“Sergio, these are happy, grateful, shocked, and utterly embarrassed tears. I am so sorry I treated you the way I did last week. I know that forgetting to pay my bill was totally my fault and you had nothing to do with it. Then this, this Christmas present, was so much more than a measly electric bill, Sergio.”
“It’s okay. But, Nastasia, it is not okay not to text or call me for an entire week.”
“I know, and I am sorry for that also. When I was sitting there and opened the present with my parents, they of course, had quite a lot of questions. People just don’t go around giving this kind of money away. So, I told them all about you, and how I got mad at you and pushed you away.” She takes a deep breath and continues, “Then my mom put it to me straight. She showed me that all work and no fun is not the way to live life. That I should allow myself to be happy. Sergio, you make me happy.”
