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Not wanting to allow Liliana to change the subject from what I knew she really needed to talk about, I pressed on from my earlier line of questioning. “What do you want from them?”
Liliana tipped her head to the side, mirroring my position. “I’ve said this a dozen times, but I want to be chosen. For me. Because they see who I am deep down and love every bit of me, like Ruslan does for you. But,” she released a heavy sigh, “Ialsowant a male that can force me to submit to them. I’m strong, I’m a fighter, and I’m wild. I don’t want someone to tame me. I want them to show me they’re powerful enough for me to trust they’ll take care of me.”
“That makes sense,” I reassured her. “Why not tell both of them that?”
She shrugged beneath her blanket. “Because I just want them to do it, you know?”
“If I’ve learned anything since being out of chains, it’s that I have to say exactly what I want and how I feel if I want my needs met. Ruslan does a good job of anticipating them now that we’re bonded and he knows me, but unless you suddenly become mated to one of them, you’re going to have to use your words.” Isneaked a foot out from beneath the blanket and nudged her leg playfully.
Liliana grinned in response. “Well when you put it that way, it seems so easy.”
“When it comes to emotions, it's always easier said than done. Trust me, I’m an empath,” I snickered.
She rolled her eyes in response. “Okay, fine. I’ll talk to them. But I’m going to practice on you a few times first.”
Clearing my throat, I deepened my voice to mimic those of the males. “Oh, Liliana, all I want to do is force you to your knees and make you suck my cock.” I barely finished the words before we both doubled over in hysterics.
My abdomen was sore by the time I came up gasping for air, tears blurring the form of my friend across from me. We both swiped at our eyes, coming down from the moment.
“Fuck, I needed a laugh like that,” she said.
“Me too. It’s been too tense and too stressful around here.” I scooted across the couch and hugged her tightly, swaying as she wrapped her arms around me in return.
“But everything will be okay, in the end.” She gave me a tight squeeze and broke our embrace.
“In the end,” I sighed, returning to my corner and wrapping the fur tightly around my shoulders. The logs in the fire popped and crackled as a large one burned out completely, sending a hint of smoke into the air.
With how fickle the Fates and the Goddess were, I sincerely hoped it wasn’t an omen of what was to come. Liliana and I sat in silence, staring at it, until she finally decided she couldn’t wait any longer to return to Endre. I bid her goodbye, but remained wrapped up in my thoughts, wondering when and how this war would end.
Would the pain all be worth it in the end?
45
Drazen and Endre sat awkwardly on the couch across from me. Since we’d returned to the Iron Realm, I’d avoided both of them like the plague, but I couldn’t avoid them any longer, not when Drazen’s expression grew guarded every time our gazes collided and Endre followed me like a lost puppy around the citadel.
To be fair, Ruslan insisted that I constantly watch Endre since he didn’t trust the male – which made avoiding this conversation very difficult.
But Izidora was right, and I really needed to have it with them.
Sighing, I flicked my hair over my shoulder and rounded the chair to sit. First, I crossed my legs, then thinking better of it, uncrossed them. Blue and green eyes studied me while I tried and failed to get comfortable. Eventually, I gave up and blurted out my confession. “I’ve been sleeping with Drazen, and I don’t want to stop.”
Endre looked stricken, and he attempted to mask his face but failed.
“But,” I held up a hand to stop him from spiraling, “I don’t want toonlysleep with Drazen.”
The half-Dragon’s mouth twitched before his usual impassivity returned.
Swallowing, I did as my best friend suggested and asked for what I wanted. “I want you both to dominate me. Share me. Make me your whore.”
My heart pounded as I made my request, hoping they’d say yes. As much as I hadn’t wanted to grow fond of Drazen, our time together had turned into more than just sex. If I was being honest with myself, the Iron Realm felt more like home than the Night Realm ever had. I loved the Iron Realm’s carefree sexuality, and it wasn’t something I wanted to give up, even if it wasn’t the norm in the Night Realm.
During Béke, Endre had shared me with others at Steel, though he wasn’t ecstatic about it at first. But when he saw how much pleasure the attention brought me, he was all for it. Endre was the type of male who put my happiness above his own, and until he’d left with Kazimir, I thought we might truly be something. That choice shattered my heart in a way that Drazen had unwittingly put back together, and holding Endre at arm’s length since we’d been reunited was my way of coping with the reopening of that wound.
It was Drazen who spoke first, his ocean blue eyes glittering with amusement. “I think our little vixen needs more than one male to tame her.”
Endre looked between the two of us, a war of emotions playing out over his face. I wrung my hands nervously, aching for the response I so desperately craved.
“I should have chosen you before. I won’t make that mistake twice,” Endre finally said, his voice strong and filled with conviction. His peridot eyes locked with my blurring ones, and I saw the truth of his words through those windows into his soul.
