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My cousin tipped the legs of the chair back as he reached for a glass of water on the desk and handed it to me. I sipped from it, drying my eyes and nose on the cloth he offered as well.
“How do you feel?” he asked gently.
“That was the biggest release yet,” I rasped, my voice hoarse from crying. Words could not adequately express the difference within me, for I felt both empty and whole, mended on the inside in a way that was only visible when I knit skin together on an open wound.
“That must have been a deep memory,” he mused, studying me for a moment. “Now say your affirmations.”
“I am safe. I am an insidious bloom. I am strong. I am powerful. I am brave. I am bold. Nothing will hurt me again,” I repeated, focusing on feeling each and every statement and fusing them into the fabric of my being.
The Angel lifted the glass from my hand, then instructed me to cross my arms and say them again.
“I am safe.”
Tap, tap, tap.
“I am an insidious bloom.”
My shoulders began dropping away from my ears.
“I am strong.”
My spine straightened, holding me steady.
“I am powerful.”
My chest swelled with pride.
“Nothing will hurt me again.”
The tapping never ceased, and with each subsequent pass through the affirmations, Ifeltthem grow within me, as if I were truly planting an insidious bloom in my soul, the blossom crowding out the horrors and the thorns threatening any thoughts of helplessness to stick around and see what happened.
Once I was full to bursting, I stopped the movements, a wide smile breaking across my face as I realized that I wasfreeof the memory. I pulled it to the front of my mind again, but the panic, the terror, the inability to even face it was gone. It was as if I were watching it happen to someone else, or reading about it in a book. It was no longer mine in the sense that it lived inside me, but rather, it was a piece of my past that no longer held any sway over my present.
“Are you sure this isn’t magic?” I asked Zuriel.
“I am certain, cousin. You are the one who has done all of the work to make these feelings happen,” he promised.
“Guess I am pretty powerful, huh?” I said, arms dropping to my lap and resting there.
“That you are.” Zuriel braced his hands on his thighs and pushed off the chair. “I’m assuming with the way you burst in here that you haven’t spoken with your mate, and with theintensity of the release you had, he’s probably losing his mind. Let’s go find him and assure him you’re alright.”
I nodded, feeling slightly guilty that I had ignored his calls down our bond as I’d raced back to the citadel. He had gone into the mines to flaunt the Iron Realm’s achievements, and I couldn’t let my issues prevent us from succeeding in uniting the realms.
“Are you still in the mines?”I asked down our bond.
“We arrived in the citadel a few minutes ago. Where are you? I felt your terror, Izidora, are you okay?”
“I’m fine now. I was working with Zuriel. We’re in the tunnels.”
“Understood. My office?”
“We’re on our way.”
Returning to Zuriel’s bedroom, I found him leaning against the desk, arms crossed and waiting for me. “Ruslan says to meet in his office.”
“Then that is where we shall head.”
The sentriesoutside the door snapped to attention as Zuriel and I entered the long hall that led to Ruslan. Most of the doors along the way were closed, no doubt because the advisors and nobles were off galavanting or celebrating. Only Ruslan seemed to continue to work while Béke wore on, though I suspected it was because he couldn’t let go of control, not when those we did not trust wandered the realm. And with his newfound status, there was much he needed to acquaint himself with.
