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No, no, no. I couldn’t lose this too.
I threw the scraps to the side, gripping the edges of the tub so hard the marble cracked beneath my fingers. Darkness surged in my chest, knocking the air from my lungs as my vision flashed between red and black and white. I plunged beneath the water in an attempt to regain control, waiting well beyond the point of my lungs burning before freeing myself from my watery prison and sucking down steamy air.
The shift in my body’s priorities cleared my mind, allowing me to calm down and think logically about what actions came next. I needed to remember myself, the male who wanted nothing more than to save his lost princess, who led his friends on countless raids, who battled and fought for those he loved.
My reflection caught my attention, water dripping off the ends of my long, unkempt hair and the beard that had started to mimic Vadim’s. I looked haggard and a touch crazed, and nothing about the male staring back at me was familiar.
It was time to stop pitying myself and return to the strong male I was.
Pushing out of the warm bath, I pounded a path to the mirror, dripping along the tiled floor, and found a razor sitting alongside the basin. Scraping it across my face, I trimmed the hairs until they barely dusted my skin, showing off the cut of my jaw. The motions were soothing, methodical, and allowed me to put my mind to a singular task.
My attention turned to my hair once I finished my beard. The mess that had grown out over the past few months needed a serious cut. Strip after strip of black hair fell away, some landing over my broad shoulders, others tickling my feet as they piled on the cool tile. The sides were shaved down until they mirrored the length of my beard, though I left it longer on the top, tousling it with my fingers until I was satisfied with how it settled across my head.
I healed the bruises beneath my eyes, the dark purple bags lightening and smoothing, until the emerald of my eyes shone beneath the dark brows set firmly over them. By the time I finished, I recognized the male in the mirror. Bracing my hands on the countertop, I turned my head this way and that, giving myself a final once over. Izidora would remember this male as the one who saved her, who brought her into the world and showed her all that she could be.
All doubt fell away like a shedded skin, and I straightened to my full height, ready to take on Ruslan and the rest of the Iron Realm.
It was time to win back Izidora, and with Viktor’s aid, I was certain I could do it.
3
Béke Day One
Izidora’s reassurance was a balm, but it did not heal the fear seared into my soul. The way she stumbled forward, the way their eyes locked, the way he looked at her, had my heart reforming its cage of ice, preparing for the worst. Even still, the side of me that held that cocky confidence screamed within me for doubting myself. But on this matter, this choice of light and dark, I wasn’t sure who Izidora would choose. I’d changed so much since I’d snatched her from Este Castle, and that was because of her. I wanted to be a better male for her, but the fear of her leaving me was making it hard.
As we trekked through the bejeweled halls of Ryza Citadel toward the spire that held our apartment, I tried and failed to clear my head, and it wasn’t until Izidora placed her hand in mine that my chest finally eased. She siphoned my fear, and not for the first time, I welcomed it. “Clear your emotions when we get back to our room, sprite,” I murmured, not wanting her to suffer with the depths of my acute pain.
“Let’s do it together.” She bumped her shoulder into me, but with her petite size, she only managed to bump my elbow.
“Sure,” I replied, opening the heavy metal door to the spire. I scooped Izidora into my arms without warning, needing to feel her closer. She did not protest; instead, she sighed and burrowed into my chest, melting the ice I’d already built up. Her unrestrained affection was everything.
“You seemed excited to see Liliana,” I commented as I climbed stair after stair.
If we were to stay here long term, I really needed to install a lift.
Her laugh vibrated against my chest. “Sorry about the lack of decorum.”
I nuzzled my nose into her hair. “Nothing to apologize for. I like seeing you happy.”
“I’d like for you to get to know her, and for her to get to know you,” she replied, tipping her head up to look at me. Her dark lashes brushed against her high cheekbones as she blinked. “We were instant friends, and I’ve never had a female friend besides her.” She paused, and I sensed a darkening shift in her emotions as she slumped against me, hiding her face. “I hope she still wants to be my friend.”
My heart panged with her whispered words, and I squeezed her tighter as if I could fend off her fears. “With the way she greeted you, I have no doubt.”
We’d reached the door to our apartment, and a sentry – one of the Félvér, the half-bloods who resulted from Rares’s experiments – opened it for us, allowing me to keep Izidora in my arms until we were safely inside our bubble of peace.
Rares.
I ground my teeth at the thought of the old Mage, who’d barely managed to appear in the courtyard alongside us to greet our guests. I needed to speak with him and ensure henevermade a piece of jewelry like the enchanted one I’d almost given Izidora that afternoon. The thought that I had requested he craft something that ensured my mate would not choose another made me sick, and I’d never been so disappointed in myself.
I meant what I had said to Izidora, and that I would spend the rest of my life redeeming my mistakes, that being the second biggest one. The first had been not checking on her like I had so desperately wanted to do before she came of age.
The fire roared in its hearth, and with the thin, black fabric Izidora wore, I knew she was cold. I placed her on the sofa in front of the fire before fetching a fur blanket from the basket beside it and tucking it around her.
“You take such good care of me, Ruslan.” She beamed up at me, her expression reaching into my chest and forcing my heart wide open. Then, she stretched her tiny hand to stroke the soft hairs coating my jaw.
I caught her wrist, turning my face and kissing her palm. “You deserve to be taken care of. Would you like to read to pass the time before the feast? I am so proud of you for finishing a book all by yourself.”
“Only if you lay behind me so I can point out the words I am struggling with.”
