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“But I can’t, not when I don’t know who is light and who is dark!” I protested, turning to my mother and scrutinizing her features as if she could hint my way to the right answer.
A male appeared beside my mother, his arm encircling her waist. White wings sprouted from his back, mirror images to my own, and the structure of his jaw reminded me so much of Zuriel.
“My daughter, with the gift passed down from your grandmother, you know what lies within each male’s heart. You are not one to be led by your head, but by your heart. Use it to guide your decision.” My father passed along his advice, and hearing his voice directed at me for the first time nearly brought me to my knees. I could only stare at the three floating figures before me, urging me onward without realizing the weight of making such a huge decision on my own.
White deepened into gray as darkness closed in around us, and my parents and the Goddess faded from view.
“Wait!” I tried to move once again but remained trapped. “Please, I only want to touch them,” I begged the Goddess.
“I will allow it if you promise to choose within the next week, Izidora,” she murmured, her voice haunted. “My magic is weakening and my time is running out.”
“I promise, I’ll do whatever you want, please just let me hold them.” This was my only opportunity to do this, and there was no way I was letting it slip through my fingers.
With a wave of her hand, she lifted me from the ground and floated me between my parents. Tears streamed down my face like a rainstorm as they enveloped me in their arms. Their touch was like coming home, and I savored every precious second offered to me.
“You are so loved, Izidora.” My mother’s final words were swallowed by black as all light disappeared around me.
My face was wet when I awoke, and the world around me was dark.
That wasn’t a dream.
Though I had been asleep, I knew in my gut that the white void had been somewhere beyond this world. The Goddess had appeared to me alongside my parents, and I’d made a bargain with her to make my decision in the next week.
How was I supposed to make a decision when making the wrong one would plunge our world into chaos? Whatever the fuck chaos meant? Would choosing the wrong mate cause the sun to explode and end life in our world? Or would it spark a war that sent rivers around the continent running with blood? Between Ruslan and me, we’d already killed two kings. Who was next? Was Ruslan one of them?
Panic clawed up my throat, and a fresh wave of hot tears spilled down my cheeks. I was so fucking tired of crying. It seemed like that was all I had done the last few days, from having my heart nearly broken by Ruslan’s request that Rares enchant a ring so I would not leave him to my breakdown the previous night after realizing how much my trauma still clung to me.
Ruslan’s arm twitched around my stomach, startling me from my spiraling thoughts.
I needed to calm down.
I was still drained, still so raw, and I didn’t have the energy for a repeat episode. A grounding exercise Zuriel had taught me sprang to mind, and I rotated through it, trying to regain control of my mind and my racing, aching heart.
My fingers clutched the warm blanket covering my shoulders, ghosting over the soft material, and I inhaled deeply, savoring Ruslan’s woodsy scent. His heat on my back eventually relaxed my shoulders, and I exhaled, long and slow, causing him to stir.
“Are you ready for breakfast?” Ruslan’s sleepy voice rumbled against my back.
Releasing a yawn and stretching out the stiffness that had worked its way into my muscles with the panic, I nodded. “So many responsibilities as hosts.”
And as the person who could potentially turn the world over to chaos.
Ruslan grunted in response, pressing up on an elbow to plant a kiss on my collarbone. “I need an assistant so I can spend all day in bed with you.”
My belly heated at his words, thighs dampening as he trailed the rough pads of his fingers down my chest and circled my nipple. “Ruslan…” I moaned when he pinched and rolled it. His morning arousal pressed into my back, and I ground shamelessly against it. The way Ruslan touched me always got me out of my own head, and I fucking needed that.
“Sprite,” he croaked, “as much as I would like to fuck you senseless right now, I am afraid we’re already late. If we want to unite the realms, we need to show the other monarchs why we’re worth supporting.”
A heavy sigh deflated my chest and my desire. “I know. Do you think they’ve noticed the Félvér and Telivér hanging about? Zuriel and the Demons were at the feast last night, along with most of your guards.”
“Our guards.” He dusted his lips across my neck. “Anton and Slavian made themselves very known to the Night Fae. Hopefully, they didn’t scare them off with their drunkenness.”
“Is that why I didn’t meet them before yesterday?” I grinned, teasing Ruslan over his protectiveness.
“That… among other reasons.” Ruslan threw back the blankets, exposing my bare skin to the cold air.
“Must you do that every morning?” I griped, reaching for the warm fur.
Ruslan pushed off the bed, yanking my ankles until my center was lined with his hardness at the edge of the bed. He towered over me, wearing nothing but his devastating smirk, then planted his hands on either side of my head, caging me into his warmth. My breath hitched as he dipped his head close to mine. “I can think of other ways to get you up.”
