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“How did you sleep?” he murmured when he discovered I was awake.
“Fine, thanks to your song.” My voice was thick and hoarse from crying.
“Here, drink this.” He produced a steaming mug of chocolate from behind his back. “It is the cure for heartbreak.”
I pushed myself upright, closing the robe tightly over mychest, then accepted the warm drink. “Does Ruslan… Has Rares…” I started, unsure how to finish my question.
“No. He was passed out drunk in front of the fire when I walked in. Seems like he celebrated a little too hard last night.” Zuriel scoffed in disgust. “Although now that he is awake, you should probably speak with him.”
I took a sip of the melted chocolate, the sweet warmth passing over my tongue and burning down my throat, heating me from the inside as it settled in my belly. It definitely was not a heartbreak cure, but I would take it. “Do you think Rares is capable of that type of magic?”
He pursed his lips and shook his head. “I went out in the middle of the night to check on him, but he was not in his study or the library. I have no idea where he went, but he was not around before I left this morning. Mage magic relies on spells and objects, it is not Goddess-given like our magic. If he could find the right spell or object, it is possible. But could he find it in one night? That I do not know.”
I chewed on my lip, Zuriel’s uncertainty intensifying my own fears. I wanted a choice with everything in my life, and I had said so to Ruslan countless times. My shoulders tightened at his desire to exert his control over me instead of trusting that I would choose him. Had he learned nothing in our time together? Or were his fears so great that when faced with the reality of Kazimir and I reuniting, his mind simply broke?
As I sipped the chocolate, I discovered my ring was missing. I furrowed my brow, certain I had not taken it off since Ruslan had given it to me. “Zuriel, was I wearing my ring when you brought me in here?”
“I don’t remember. Why?”
“I could have sworn I was. It was such a pretty piece, I would hate to have lost it.” I paused for a moment, then continued. “Zuriel, I’m not sure what to say to him.”
His hand rubbed circles over my back, calming my frayed nerves. “I know, Izidora. But you will find the right words. He loves you, of that I am certain. You did not see his panic over you yesterday. It was very unlike him.”
My stomach growled loudly, and we shared a laugh that eased some of the anxiety threatening to immobilize me. “Please tell me you also brought food.”
“I did, a full breakfast is waiting for you out there,” he jerked his head in the direction of the sitting room. “You need to eat more today to replenish your magic. Especially sugar. Though I don’t think you’ll have an issue with that.” His eyes sparkled as a half-smile teased across his lips.
“Not at all,” I replied, hopping from the bed. My feet hit the cold stone floor, sending a shiver from the tips of my toes to the tip of my nose, and I scurried to the wardrobe across the room, clutching the robe to my chest as I opened drawers and shuffled clothes about. There were only male’s clothes inside, but I managed to find a loose pair of pants and pulled them on beneath the robe. I had to roll the waist several times to prevent them falling, and they still dragged on the floor with every step I took. The smoky smell of bacon wafted through the sitting room door, and I paused with my hand an inch from the handle, body tingling as fear of opening it to discover Ruslan and Rares waiting to pounce rose within me.
“I’ll go first,” Zuriel offered, understanding my hesitation. I stepped aside to let him pass, holding my breath until he said, “It’s clear.”
The sitting room was empty of the male who I both loved and hated at that moment, and I released a tense breath as I walked to the table laden with breakfast for us. Zuriel piled his plate with food, and I pulled the chair beside him back, settled cross-legged onto it and waited until Zuriel finished before making my own plate. Eggs, bacon, toast, and berries squishedtogether on my plate, and after my first few bites, I grew absolutely ravenous, my stomach finally catching up with the rest of my body. I tore through my first plate, then another as Zuriel kept piling food onto it. When I licked icing from my fingers after my fourth cinnamon bun, my stomach finally relented. “You were not kidding about needing food.”
“Magic takes energy, and food is energy for our bodies. It is the cycle of life that must be maintained and balanced. Too many sweets,” he elbowed me in the ribs, “and not enough use of our bodies throws that balance out of whack. Too much use of our bodies and not enough food also throws off the balance, too.”
I remembered King Zalan’s rotund belly, his oily energy filling me with disgust and gagging me. Then I remembered my own emaciated body the first time I’d gazed at my reflection in a mirror. I was so much stronger, both mentally and physically, despite the path I had traveled not being an easy one. Despite all odds, I was still fighting for myself, and that would never change.
Whatever lay ahead, I could handle it. I was no longer the victim of abuse, chained in darkness for countless years. I was a powerful Fae and Angel with a deep well of magic who was fiery and fierce and had friends in my corner to fight alongside me. I would not let any male control me, abuse me, or manipulate me again.
A knock sounded on the outer door, and my stomach immediately dropped. Zuriel jumped from his chair and jogged across the room, calling magic to his hand. He hid it behind his back as he cracked the door. “Drazen, good to see you,” he said, stepping away but keeping his hands from view. The half-Dragon entered the room carrying an armful of bags, opening his arms and letting them thud against the floor.
“Ruslan never returned last night, and I know you’ll beneeding clothes for today, Izidora.” He looked at my robe and the oversized pants, the corners of his mouth twitching upward. “Clearly, my timing was spectacular.”
“Thanks, Drazen.” I gestured to my attire with a lopsided grin. “This is not the proper attire to greet other royals with.”
“If you want anything else, just step outside and one of the guards will fetch me. Ruslan’s regiment is guarding you now, so you might see some familiar faces.” Despite everything, I liked Drazen and some of the others who made up Ruslan’s personal guard. I trained with them most days, and although most kept their distance for good reason, I still enjoyed their company. “Have you seen him today? I need to speak with him.”
Zuriel responded for me. “He left after I arrived to check on Izidora’s near-burnout. Haven’t seen him since.”
“Thanks, Zuriel. If you see him, send him my way,” Drazen requested, then dipped his head to me and departed.
“Let’s see what he brought,” I said to Zuriel, who banished his magic and helped me carry the bags into the bedroom. We spilled their contents across the bed, dresses and leggings and tunics and lace undergarments flying everywhere. A few books tumbled out at the end, and I silently thanked Drazen for bringing me something to read. I picked out what I wanted to wear, then folded and hung the rest in an empty wardrobe while Zuriel stood by the windows like a sentinel, looking over the capital of the Iron Realm.
The city was still blanketed in white, smoke rising from each building as the inhabitants warmed themselves against the cold, snowy day. A quiet had settled over the city, and barely any footprints broke the pristine powder that coated the streets. Unease settled into my belly as I took in more details of the scene before me. “Do you feel that too?” I whispered, afraid to raise my voice and draw the attention of whatever had goosebumps rippling across my skin.
Zuriel nodded, his eyes glazed and far away, but then he blinked and returned to himself, meeting my gaze. “I need to go, but I will see you later. Send for me if you need anything before then.”
He quickly made for the door, and I shouted, “Wait! Please don’t leave.”
