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Gathering pillows, I crawled toward him, creating a little nest for myself to sleep in – just the way I liked it. Once I had everything arranged just so, I explained, “I’m going to sleep right here, and you can sleep right there, on the other side of the pillow. I’ll be within reach, but I will be more comfortable this way.”
He accepted the arrangement, though he looked crestfallen, throwing a muscled bicep over his eyes while I snuggled under the covers. I faced him, then tapped on his arm. He lifted it ever so slightly away from his face, exposing the hint of pain and loneliness I’d come to expect from him, then rolled to his side.With a wave of his hand, he stole the light from the dim lamps that lined the walls until only the crackling fireplace offered a reprieve from the dark, casting just enough light that I could make out Ruslan’s features.
“Will you tell me the story of the painting on this wall?” Ruslan’s irascible side I could handle, though it left my heart racing and shoulders tense. The angsty side of him on display now was something unfamiliar that left my own emotions a mess, and I wanted to spark some life back into him.
“Of course,” he replied, then launched into a tale of two lovers, one Angel and one Demon, destined to be together but forever kept apart. I closed my eyes while he weaved the tale, the wine relaxing me enough to soften the edge of the adrenaline that had run amok for the past few hours. Eventually, I stopped hearing Ruslan’s words, his voice trailing off as he slipped into sleep. I allowed myself to fall as well, hoping Ruslan wouldn’t catch me in the end.
12
We arrived at House Rass’s estate just in time to witness a new foal burst into the world. As we crowded around the stall watching the little colt stand on shaky legs, memories of Izidora’s first days with us flooded my mind, drowning me in a sea of her. The wariness that took weeks to disappear from her eyes, the first smile she gave me, and her fierce determination to conquer anything we threw her way…
I ran a hand over my face, taking a calming breath and squashing that incessant urge to jump back on Fek and race to the Iron Realm, seeking the female that had captivated me since before I ever saw her face. Izidora needed me, and losing my shit wouldn’t help her or anyone. The fervent desire to throttle the next person who challenged me increased exponentially with each passing day, and that lid I locked over the chest that contained my grief threatened to burst free with it.
Liliana and Endre pressed their faces to the silver bars separating us from the stall where mare and foal became acquainted. Endre’s hand subtly circled behind Liliana, resting on the warm wood panel and brushing her lower back. Envy clawed mythroat, so violent that I had to swallow it down and walk away to maintain my cool. The mere idea that Endre had his person with him and I did not nearly broke me, over and over, throughout the day.
So I imagined her face, her lips, her body pressed against me, falling into familiar daydreams that entertained me in the nearly two decades I’d spent looking for Izidora. My life had been dedicated to saving her, but that was not what I wanted for our future. The life I’d built for us in my head was going to come to pass – that I could guarantee.
The chilled night air was like a slap to the face as I exited the warm stables. I inhaled deeply, the air burning my lungs in a way that was both refreshing and punishing. I welcomed the pain, the sharp sting numbing my inner turmoil in favor of an external sensation. Kaztar had left our party in the stables while he arranged rooms for us with his head of house. Finding him was my best option to stay sane, and sleeping would eat away at the time until I held Izidora in my arms again.
The estate was sprawling, without a fence or wall around it. Thick copses of trees scattered as far as the eye could see, flanked by riding rings filled with all types of equipment. In the distance, two low buildings squatted side by side, one for soldiers, the other for servants. The house itself was not really a house but a castle in its own right, with black spires jutting into the sky and a central tower overlooking the grounds and surrounding area. Around the back, a glassy lake reflected the stars, almost looking like a portal to another world.
As I pushed through the entrance, voices floated from a first-floor parlor, golden light spilling across polished oak floors in the darkness, and there I found Kaztar speaking with a male in uniform who bowed to me as I entered.
“My lord, I have arranged rooms for all of you on the secondstory. Your bags have been taken up already. Can I get you something to eat or drink?” Kaztar’s head of house said.
“Something strong,” I replied.
“We’ll have two whiskeys and some snacks,” Kaztar told him. He bowed, then left us.
“How’s the foal?” Kaztar ran a hair through his black hair, straightening the pieces that had fallen loose during our ride here. His jade eyes carried a hint of concern as he examined me. Though he was only a few years older than me, he had been Head of House Rass since the tragic death of his father nearly a decade ago.
“He stood a moment before I left.” I shrugged and dropped into a seat.
“Good, Domi’s stress will not be so bad now that the mare has foaled. She was our highest-risk pregnancy this year.”
“Domi cares deeply for her horses.”
“That she does, along with many other causes. Izidora made quite the impression on her,” Kaztar remarked.
The rumbling of a cart signaled the return of the servant. He entered, wordlessly laying out glasses, plates, snacks, and a decanter of amber liquid on the table in front of Kaztar. Kaztar nodded his thanks, then poured two hefty measures of whisky into glasses for us, handing me one.
“Thanks,” I said appreciatively, then downed the whole glass in one gulp. The burn in my throat was welcome, and as I set my empty glass on the table, Kaztar poured more amber liquor into it.
“Kazimir, I know we aren’t that great of friends, but I admire and respect you. If Domi had been taken from me, I would be a wreck. We males may pretend to be the strong ones, but without our females, we are nothing. I learned that the day I married Domi. Though it took her some time to warm up to me.” He smiled and took a sip of his drink. “I may not have been part ofthe Nighthounds, and I can’t replace the ones you lost, but I am honored to be riding among you now. I guess what I am trying to say is that I have your back through all of what’s to come, Kazimir,” he finished.
I studied my drink, swirling the ice through the amber, unable to respond to his kind words when the ones screaming through my mind told me that there was nothing admirable about a male who couldn’t protect his own.
Domi saved me from responding, bounding into the room and throwing her arms around her husband, releasing a tension-filled sigh. Liliana, Endre, Viktor, and Vadim sauntered in moments later, all looking travel-worn and weary. “Zelle delivered a healthy foal. He is going to be perfect when he’s older. His coloring matches your hair.” She mussed his long locks as she spoke.
He gazed down at her, his eyes filled with absolute adoration for his wife. My glass was again more interesting than what was in front of me, and I downed the contents to distract myself, hissing as the burn worked its way down my throat. The grip I held on the glass was sure to crack the delicate detailing, but I could not seem to release the tension from my fingers, even as my head began buzzing and my body sank into the plush sofa. Viktor took a seat beside me, liquor falling from the decanter into his glass and then mine, while Liliana filled a plate with cheese, crackers, and dried meat, then settled on my opposite side.
At least I wasn’t pinned between her and Endre.
“Izidora would have loved to see that foal,” she sighed.
The alcohol was the only thing that kept me calm as Liliana reminded me, yet again, that Izidora was not here when she should be. “Yes, she would have.”
Oblivious to my angst, Liliana continued, “Domi said that Izidora can name the foal once she returns. And that this foalbeing born today was a sign of good things to come. I hope she is right.”
