AllFreeNovel
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Football is family. It’s comfort. It’s sitting around the dinner table with Dad when we were kids, after we’d played hard, and he’d give us pointers on how we could improve our game.
We learned so much from him. I miss him every day, and hell, I could sure use his input right now.
When we’re finished recording, I’m restless. I repaired Miss Gina’s elevator, the kittens are fed, and without the old lady around finding a hundred little jobs for me to do, I’ve got an afternoon to kill.
If I go to the house, Rachel will probably be there. Hell, if I go to the restaurant, she’ll probably be there.
Jack follows me out, and I catch him. “Would you help me bring the truck back to Gloria’s?”
“Sure.” He hops into his red Ford step-side, and he follows me down the scenic road, all the way to the big white barn in the middle of a wide-open, grassy field bordered with a long white fence.
The sky is low, and it looks like rain is coming. The weather has been warm, so I expect it’ll rain tonight and be frigid tomorrow. I park the truck under the carport, thinking I’d check on the horses.
Jack parks his truck and steps out, walking with me into the barn. He knows what we need to do, and I’m glad I asked himfor a ride. He can help me check their feed and make sure the barn is secure against the wind and rain.
Jack’s never been a big talker. We could do all of this in companionable silence, but he stops beside me at Shiloh’s stall, sliding his hand down the horse’s shiny dark-chocolate neck.
“What’s eating you, Zee?” He glances over at me.
“I thought y’all had decided I was all good. Ready to settle down.”
“I’ve known you a little longer than them.”
I huff a laugh, wondering if two years makes that much of a difference. Maybe it does. Hell, less than an hour ago, I was at the station wishing I could talk to my dad. Jack’s always been the next best thing.
“It’s not as simple as that for me.”
He pats the horse, turning to face me. “It’s not simple for anyone, but I will say I haven’t seen you so happy in a long time, definitely not since you’ve been back home.”
“It’s been a while.”
“Is this about her dad?”
“Nah, you were right about that. Rachel’s nothing like Jayden.”
“So what’s the problem?”
My gaze moves to the big, open door, where gray clouds gather like ghosts crowding closer to hide the blue sky.
Saying this out loud is difficult. “I haven’t been the same since my injury. I can’t shake it.”
“Are you in pain?” His dark brow furrows, and I shake my head.
“Not physically.” Rachel took care of that. “It’s more a sense that good things aren’t meant for me. They’re for you and Dylan and Rachel…” I exhale heavily. Saying her name makes me miss her. “Not me.”
“I get that.”
“You do?” I frown up at him.
We turn and walk slowly up the alley to the next stall.
“Sure.” He nods, reaching up to pat Frodo’s gray neck. “You lost everything in one bad play. You’re bound to feel disoriented, lost. Hell, I’m sure there’s trauma there.”
It’s the same thing the therapist said, the few times I talked to him. “Knowing it doesn’t make it go away.”
After a month of therapy, I couldn’t talk about it anymore. Nothing changed.
“Talk therapy didn’t work for me.”
