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So, when Cameron told me she paid for rehab herself, and has been sober for six months, I was skeptical, too.
“Six months isn’t a long time,” Leila points out.
I nod in agreement, a sad smile on my lips. “It’s longer than I’ve ever seen her sober my whole life,” I admit to her, my heart breaking for my younger self, having to see my mom like that, day in, day out. Every. Single. Fucking. Day.
Leila’s eyes soften, and I see a hint of sadness in them. I’ve told her everything I’ve been through as a kid, but she can’t even begin to fathom the reality of living it.
“Have you gone to see her yet?” she asks.
“No.” I shake my head. “Of course not. I wanted to talk to you about it first.”
She blinks. “Me?”
“Of course, baby,” I say, cupping her face. “You’re my wife. This is our life. Yours, mine, and Nova’s.” Her eyes flutter closed at the feel of my palm on her cheek. “This affects all of us. Not just me,” I clarify. “If I reach out, then she’ll be in our lives.” I breathe out a sigh. “What should I do?” I ask her.
Leila’s brows dip. “You’re asking me?”
I nod. “I want to know what you think,” I admit.
Her lips part on a sigh. “Do you want her in your life?” she asks me.
My brain says the word over and over again until I nod. I’ve always had a soft spot for her. A special place for her in my heart that was always vacant. Empty.Abandoned. “I think so.”
Leila nods in understanding, and clutches my face between both her hands. “She hurt you,” she says, concern etched on her face.
“I know,” I say with a nod. “But she’s my mom.”
Leila softens and she nods, knowing that I need this. Want this. Leila had issues with her mom when she was growing up, and since they fixed their issues, they’ve been pretty close, and she’s an amazing grandma to Nova.
I want that. All I’ve ever wanted was a relationship with my mom, and for years, she just wanted me gone.
But she wants me now.
And I don’t want to turn from that.
“And you’re sure she’s sober?” Leila asks.
“I mean, I’m not completely sure,” I admit, since I haven’t seen her with my own eyes yet. “But Cameron said she’s doing really well.” My heart swells at the thought.
Leila leans down and brushes her lips against mine, kissing me softly. “I think you should do what you want,” she says, placing her hand against my heart. “You’ve got a big heart, Aiden, and if you want to share it with her, then I’ll support you the whole time.”
Fuck. My throat closes up and I shake my head. “I love you,” I tell her, unable to express my feelings for her in any other way. I’d buy her the fucking moon if I could.
“I love you, too,” she says with a smile that makes my heart flutter like crazy.
This woman still gives me butterflies.
Even after being married to her for four years.
“I don’t know why I was so scared to talk to you about it,” I admit with a laugh. I should have known she’d be supportive. She’s the best fucking person in the whole world.
“I think you were scared I’d tell you it was a bad idea,” she says with a shrug. “She really hurt you, but you’ve always wanted her approval.”
I guess a part of that is true. There was a time in my life when I just wanted her to look at me. To love me. But that was a long time ago.
“I want your approval more,” I tell my wife, getting lost in her lime green eyes.
Leila scoffs. “Sure.”
