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“Serenity!”
“I know you are not trying to act brand new. I mean, didn’t you just remind me that you have lived with him for a year? Don’t turn into a prude now. Talk!”
“I mean, I have, but he doesn’t really care about it,”
“Translation you suck at sucking dick,”
“Wow.”
“Okay, let me give you some pointers,” she says and proceeds to go into a diatribe about giving head.
“Remember you have to enjoy it and don’t look at it like a task. Also, if he is a big guy, you usually have to work yourself up to deep-throating him but you have to do it the way you will have him promising you anything, ugh it’s a heady sensation. How is your gag reflex?”
“Um, I don’t really have one,”
“You don’t have a gag reflex, and you not slobbing on this man’s knob?”
“Serenity, I am trying to get ready for my wedding,”
“And I am trying to help you stay married. But here’s the real advice, he’ll be your husband, so anything you want to do with your husband is okay. So let go of the prim and proper minister of music and be Soul the woman. Be as freaky and nasty as you want baby sis, let your hair down, and have fun with your husband. I am so happy for you,” she says, pulling me into a hug.
“Thank you, sis. I can’t wait to come to your wedding,”
“Oh no! Bite your tongue! That is not the gift God gave to me, besides no one can handle me without trying to control me, and I will not be controlled by anyone,” she says, and it sounds like she’s speaking about someone specific, not just in general, but before I could inquire there is a knock at the door and my mother walks in.
“Can I have a moment alone with Soul, Serenity,”
“Of course, Mom,” she says before leaving.
“I just wanted to take a moment to talk to you and say sorry,”
“Sorry? Sorry for what?”
“For using you,”
“Mom…”
“No, it’s true. Your father and I kept you with us, and even though it benefitted us, it didn’t benefit you,”
“We had dreams for all of our children, but in the end, it was you guys’ lives to live and us keeping you with us and pushing our expectations on you stifled your life. I am so glad that Gabe is a persistent man and that you have a second chance at not just love but life. Live it, baby, and do not feel guilty. Your dad is retiring, and he and I will be traveling the world.
We’re not dead yet and there is still a lot of life for us to live. I love you, baby and I feel relieved and blessed that you will be loved and taken care of as I travel around the world.” We embrace, and it feels like a weight I didn’t even know I was carrying was lifted off of my shoulders. I am marrying my best friend and the love of my life today, and I feel freer than I have ever felt in my life.
??
CHAPTER16
Soul
I wake up to music playing, specifically a piano. After the ceremony, we had the reception at the hotel. We ate, drank, talked, and enjoyed each other’s company until the sun made its appearance in the sky. Gabe and I said goodbye to our family, boarded a flight, and traveled halfway around the world. His first international concert will be here, but until then, it’s our honeymoon. The Vegas concert, wedding, reception, and flight left me exhausted; all I had energy enough to do was shower, change, and sleep. I slide into my slippers and follow the music, the hotel suite is nothing short of amazing, three stories, three bedrooms, three baths, it has a library, gym, kitchen, butler’s kitchen, dining room, private pool, etc. You name it, it has it. Taking the elevator from the third floor to the main floor, the music is much louder. It’s beautiful, and words begin to fill my mind to match its beautiful melody. When I turn the corner, I stop in my tracks, my mouth goes dry. There is Gabe sitting at the piano, bare-chested, hair loose over his shoulder, sleep pants sitting low on his hips, eyes closed playing. Leaning against the door jam, I close my eyes and listen. As the music continues I think back over the last year with him, all the late-night talks, the dates he would take me on, how he would write me letters and mail them to me at his house so that when I went to the mailbox, I would find them. I thought about the first few months of me living with him, I insisted on sleeping in my own room, and he would sneak in dragging a blanket to make a pallet on the floor next to my bed. I would turn over, letting my hand fall over the side of the bed, and he would hold it as we’d talk, sing, and laugh all night until we both fell asleep. And on those nights, I would wake up every morning with him still holding my hand.
I agree it was hard trying to narrow down a wedding date with him being in the studio and getting ready to tour again, but it was worth it. In the past year we got to know each other again. Not only got to know each other, but we discussed what we both want from life, from each other, and our marriage. We compromised on some issues, agreed on others, and downright disagreed on some, too. Overall, the past year was a year well spent. I quit my job, sold my house, refocused on writing music, and sold a good bit of it thanks to Gabe giving me writing credit. There were people lined up to work with the hit writing songwriter.
“Come here, baby,” he calls out, surprising me.
“How did you know I was here?”
“I always know when you are near,”
