AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘Oh, what’s her name?’
‘Naomi.’
Why did a look of terror suddenly appear on Miranda’s face?
SIXTEEN
“Once you say you're going to settle for second, that's what happens to you in life.”
~ John F Kennedy
Gina walked into her apartment and pushed the door closed with a strong flick of her hip; her hands full with shopping bags. Breathing a sigh of relief that she’d made it through another week at work, she was looking forward to a relaxing weekend. With a grumble growing in her empty stomach, she carried the ingredients for tonight’s chicken cacciatore through to the kitchen, and placed them on the table.
Marvin stood rigidly by the kitchen table, an envelope in his hand, irritation creasing his face.No, not another of his moods ... please, I just want to cook, eat, and relax!She narrowed her eyes, silently asking him what was wrong.
‘What’s this?’ He slid the envelope across the table, its edges torn open.
Gina picked it up warily with the tips of her fingers like it was a bomb that could explode. It was from Sydney Fitness College. ‘You opened my mail?’
‘So? It’s not like it was anything personal, I was just curious.’
Gina’s eyes scanned the contents of the envelope. It was a letter thanking her for downloading their information pack, and a brochure and application form were enclosed.
‘What’s this all about?’ He leaned forward in interrogation, his bulky hands planted heavily on the table.
‘I was looking into some options, that’s all.’ Gina shrunk inside in anticipation of him belittling her.
‘Options? You don’t need options. You have a full-time, stable job, why are you making enquiries about courses; fitness courses at that?’
‘Marvin.’ Gina took a deep breath, though it did nothing to calm her quivering nerves. She forced herself to meet his glare. ‘I’m not happy in my job. I want to try something new, something I’m really good at.’
‘So, you’ve decided you want to be one of those Lycra-clad bimbos bouncing around yelling, ‘C’mon you can do it!’ to a bunch of fat people?’ He threw his arms in the air. ‘That’s ridiculous!’
Prickly heat pinched her spine. ‘It’s not ridiculous!’
Marvin grasped her shoulders, exerting his authority. ‘Now’s not the time to be changing careers. You’re not getting any younger, and why would you want to start something new when you could very well become pregnant soon?’
She looked away.
‘Gina?’ He pulled her chin to face him and she flinched a little.
She had to stay strong, remember Liz’s advice. ‘This is something I really want to do. And, it would be easier for me to do this now, before having children.’
‘We can’t waste any more time, Gina. Have you even thought about this properly?’ Marvin stepped back, his arms up in the air a second time.
‘Yes. I have, look...’ She fumbled in her bag, pulling out a notebook. ‘I’ve written a plan.’ She pointed. ‘See, here are the intake periods for the course I want to do. I could start the course part-time in September, or full-time in February next year. This would give me time to save enough money for the course itself, and to live on until I get work in the industry.’ She turned the page. ‘I’ve even composed a new budget, see? I could afford to study part-time if I stayed at work, or I could spend the rest of the year saving money, and leave my job at Christmas, ready to start in February. There’d even be enough to take a holiday in January!’ She smiled feebly, seeking approval.
He yanked the notebook from her hands and threw it over his shoulder. It landed on the floor behind him with a thud, its pages splayed. ‘How could you be so selfish?’
Gina took a couple of steps back; suddenly fearful he might throw her as well. She trembled, eyes moist, vision blurry.
‘Why are things never enough for you?’ He stepped closer. ‘Why are you always wanting more?’ Another step. ‘Nothing’s ever good enough, is it?’ He stopped in front of her and she leaned backwards slightly. He had never hit her, but his skills of manipulation and intimidation always cut deep, his words like knives, twisting and turning in past wounds.
Unexpectedly, he pulled her close to him. Her body rigid, he held her until she softened. ‘My darling, Gina. Can’tyou see this unhappiness stems from your feelings of failure as a woman?’ He rubbed her back. ‘The female body is made for bearing children, and yours hasn’t yet fulfilled its purpose. It’s normal to feel empty and frustrated. And you’re searching for other things to fill that void.’
Gina’s mother had once told her how ‘complete’ she felt when she’d had her children, how life finally made sense. Would her life make sense too, after she’d had children? Would her relationship with Marvin be better after they became parents? She felt that familiar sensation, that childlike vulnerability that enveloped her, every time Marvin talked her around. He made everything sound logical somehow, and logic made her feel safe.
‘Before I found the letter, I was planning on discussing the possibility of IVF with you,’ Marvin spoke softly. ‘But why don’t we keep trying naturally for a few more months, and if you’re not pregnant by the end of the year, we’ll discuss what step to take next, yes?’
