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"No!"
"Really?"
"And send her off the deep end? Fuck no. Never, ever tell her. Never. The family doesn't know who you are, right?"
He shakes his head. "No, the hospital doesn't give out the recipient's information to the donor family without consent."
"Don't fucking give consent."
"Okay, yeah," he says and nods his head. "This helps. This is what I was thinking about doing, but it felt wrong. Right but wrong. But if you're saying not to say anything, I think I was initially right. Fuck, I should've just never opened the letter."
"That was a big one. I think I need a beer. You want one?"
Sighing, Bodie leans back, feeling both guilt and relief. "Yeah, thanks."
Is he doing the right thing? Part of him says yes while the other says no. He's never felt so conflicted about anything like this before.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Summerville
Lex
Noah runs along the sidewalk before running back to Calla in the stroller, and Lex can't help but smile at how he plays with his little sister. He adores her, and she loves him. When she imagined having kids, this is what she wanted. She wanted her kids to have everything she didn't have growing up. A stable, loving family.
Noah saved her faith in brothers after her disastrous relationship with her own. She only wishes Colt was here instead of meeting at the clubhouse with Griffin's Beach because he is the only other person who understands how happy this makes her.
Hannah showed up out of nowhere at Lex's house after leaving almost a month ago. She looks lost still, and Lex knows she's conflicted about what to do. About Rocky but also about her life. When someone becomes so ingrained in the club, it's hard to see a life without it. And the one that does get seen isn't always the greatest. It's not what everyone is suddenly searching for in most cases.
As they sat down at the table, Sutton showed up out of nowhere. Both women had so much restless energy, Lex thought it best to get them out and moving. Maybe it'll help them solve whatever it is they came looking for help with. Lex knows, but she can't give them the answers. Those are things only they can find inside of themselves, and as much as it hurts her, she just knows she needs to be there for them.
"You really left Rocky?" Sutton asks, her eyes on Hannah. "Like, left-left?"
"I had to," Hannah says, but her eyes give away the pain she feels. Pain Lex has no doubt Hannah is confused about because she doesn’t think she should feel it when she was so determined within her decision. "I knew I'd end up hating him if I didn't. And I'm so damn angry."
Nodding, Sutton sighs. "I just always liked you two together."
"I know people think I'm stupid and being unwilling to let go of the past with what happened, but no one understands just how alone you are in prison. But when you're so isolated and dehumanized and tormented, you think that's the worst it's going to get, you know? Like, this can't get worse than that, and then all of a sudden, you get word the one person in this world who understood you better than anyone else is gone. And you can't do anything but sit there and think. For years."
"Was it... was it really bad? Like, attacked by others bad?"
Hannah sighs and looks at the ground. "Yeah, pretty much. I'd been stabbed twice, and I was always on guard. Even at night, Iwas on guard, and I never got the chance to mourn. It was such a surreal feeling. It felt like the life I was living wasn't really mine."
"You have a right to be upset," Lex says as Noah continues his game with his sister.Oh, to have the energy of a child. "And you have a right to feel it for as long as it takes to come to terms with it. But don’t hold onto it. I can tell you right now that holding onto the past pain really sucks. I'm trying to figure out how to let it go, too, and if I figure it out, I'll be sure to let you know how."
“Thanks,” she says with a laugh. “I’ve been visiting Dani’s grave a lot and talking, which seems to help, but I still don’t know what to do.”
"Can I tell you guys something?" Sutton asks, suddenly.
Lex assumes this has something to do with her biological dad, who Lex is super curious about. "Of course."
"I'm kind of dating... Nelson."
"That was not what I expected you to say," Hannah says, her head snapping up to stare at the brunette woman.
Lex shakes her head. "Yeah... Also... what?"
Smiling sadly, she shakes her head. "Exactly. We started hanging out as friends. I was his wingwoman while he avoided the clubhouse after Daphne embarrassed him, which I think he focuses on instead of anyone else, and I was avoiding the clubhouse because of the whole Dad thing. Then one night, he hit on me. I thought he was drunk, but he wasn't, and we kind of... had sex."
