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"I know I'm dirt. Trust me, I've been told that my entire life. I'm not a good guy. I don't deserve something as good as her."
She just blinks at him, and he feels awkward. Confused and awkward.
"But you know how girls like being in a forbidden relationship. It's fun. At least until the dirt becomes mud, and then it gets even messier than expected."
"I'm not sure I understand. You're not dirt. And, sure, forbidden relationships can be fun... for a while. But at some point, you're going to develop feelings, and hopefully she will, too. But if you don't see yourself as more than dirt, how is she going to see you any differently?"
"She doesn't need to. I'm just here to ride out the time until she freaks out and tells me to get lost for good."
"And then what?"
Damn, she has to ask the hard questions. "Then I leave her alone."
"Just like that? You don't think you'll develop feelings?"
"I know I will. I already have. But that's not what matters."
"You're more like me than I thought. The self-righteousness? Yeah, it's endearing, but it's painful. Everyone else may not see it, but I see the humanity in you. You don't go out randomlyinflicting pain on others. You're not a 'bad guy.' Okay, maybe you are, but you seem like a bad guy who's a good man."
Swallowing, Venom keeps staring into her blue eyes, hoping she’ll look away in fear to make everything feel normal again. "I can't walk away from her, Lex. She's the only person who makes me feel anything anymore. Anything besides numb and just going through the motions."
"And how do you plan to handle the pain when she walks away? Or when you realize how much you care about her, and she doesn't see you the same? I know how it is. I had to be bloody, broken, and bruised before I decided to let the person I loved more than life go, and it sucks. It fucking sucks, but so does the pain it takes to get there."
Something tells him she knows exactly what she speaks of. And he wants to hurt anyone who hurts her, for some reason. "Say she does come around. That she does choose me when she's given the choice... how do I keep her if her father takes my kutte?"
"What are you talking about?"
"It's in the bylaws. Members can't date daughters unless their father approves. He'll never fucking approve."
Her eyes narrow. "I'll check with Colt, but as far as I know, there were no changes to the Drifter laws for Summerville."
"It's not Drifter-"
"Look at that logo on your back. You're a Drifter, and if there were no changes made, Hellraiser laws don't mean shit. Not to say he won't find something else to throw you out for, but he can't for this."
"You're sure?"
Tilting her head, she glares at him. "I could recite the fucking laws and bylaws in my sleep. Learned ‘em when I was fourteen because of my husband and his best friend. Yeah, I'm fucking sure."
"You're not too bad, Lex."
"Trust me, I can be a fucking nightmare. I can almost guarantee I’m scarier than you think you are because most people don't expect it. I can look sweet when I’m making someone cry."
Venom laughs and nods his head, still wishing for that cigarette he'd given up for the woman who ran away when she got caught with him. "I really like you. But, just like with Marnie, I'll keep that a secret."
"Oh, don't worry about me. In fact, it might help your image."
"I wouldn't be so sure. How would everyone look at you if we were suddenly chummy and talking in the clubhouse?"
She laughs. "I'm known for taking in strays, so there wouldn't be many who know me who would bat an eye. I can about bet money that Colt's just waiting for me to tell him we're friendly. He accepts me for who I am."
"Thank you for not ratting us out. I appreciate your willingness to keep things quiet unless asked."
Her hand reaches out and touches his bicep. "You don't have to be so isolated. I know you're used to it, but you don't have to be. It's up to you."
Nodding, he forces a smile and walks away, feeling both alone and like he has an ally. He'd been in bliss while being inside Marnie, and just as quickly, he lost it all. He just prays she comes back around looking for the release they both enjoyed.
Chapter Twenty-Five
