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Fallon was cast into silence again, but this time it was a pregnant pause as she waited for the lecture she knew Tia was going to give her. There was no other reason she would have banished Monti from the room.
“I was scared for way too long that I would become him,” Tia’s words echoed through the room and ricocheted straight into Fallon’s heart.
That same fear had eaten her away since she was nine years old. She never wanted to be like him. It was why she’d pushed so hard to live into the ruse that she was like her mom. Because her mom was the victim, not the perpetrator.
“No one’s perfect, Fallon, and that includes your mom. What she failed to do was to ask for help, to stand up to a bully and abuser, and to protect you and Monti from what was happening in that house.”
“I really don’t want to rehash this,” Fallon muttered, already feeling herself closing off. She didn’t want to be any more shattered than she already was.
“Wehaveto talk about this.” Tia squeezed her hand sharply. “It wasn’t until I met Saylor that I realized just how isolated I’d become. I have friends, yes, but I never allowed myself to be loved because I was so scared of becoming him. But I’m not him. And neither are you.”
“I know that,” Fallon whispered.
“But you’re afraid of that.”
Fallon couldn’t even make herself answer. She nodded, but that was it. She couldn’t look at Tia to confirm her suspicions.
“Do you know how I know you’ll never be like him?” When Fallon didn’t respond, Tia continued, “Because you’re so adamant that what he did was wrong, and you have taken greatpains throughout your entire life since leaving that house to be the exact opposite of him. But it also means you’ve been alone.”
“Yeah.” Fallon wrinkled her nose. “But I can’t make her go through that again.”
Tia tensed, her hand tightening on Fallon’s. “What do you mean?”
“Savannah has her own family drama, and I won’t force her to relive that if she doesn’t want to.”
“I don’t think you’ll force her into anything she doesn’t want to do, but one major part of being in a relationship with someone is that you have to open up to them. You have to be vulnerable with them. You have to be willing to share a side of yourself that you’ve never shared with anyone else, including me and Monti.”
“You were there for all of it,” Fallon whined.
“And she wasn’t, and if you want more than a simple physical relationship with her, you’re going to have to put in the effort and open up.”
“I know.” Fallon understood, she really did, but that didn’t mean she was ready for it. “You should get back out there. It’s Saylor’s birthday.”
“She’ll be fine.”
“Go on,” Fallon doubled down. “I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
“And you’ll stay?”
“Yes, I’ll stay.” Fallon rested her head on Tia’s shoulder for a minute before straightening her back. She needed to put herself back together long enough to go out there and face Savannah. They could talk about their problems later, when there weren’t so many people around.
Tia dropped a kiss onto the top of Fallon’s head as she left the room.
The silence had never been more welcome.
twenty-two
What the hell was she doing here?
Savannah gripped onto the edge of the counter as soon as Tia brushed by her and followed Fallon wherever she’d gone. Fallon was absolutely going to think that Savannah was stalking her now, as if the accusation when they’d met all those months ago hadn’t been hard enough to deny, but showing up here? She should have put the pieces together, but they rarely talked about work. In fact, Fallon made it a point not to talk about work, which meant Savannah had never talked about Saylor.
And they’d never talked about the fact that Saylor’s girlfriend was Fallon’s aunt.
Savannah took over for Tia, making a few drinks and handing them out before she made herself a very strong one and chugged half of it quickly. Then she stopped and set it on the counter. If she was going to be leaving sooner than expected, she really shouldn’t be drinking.
She couldn’t believe that she’d left Brinley with Kyla for this. Fallon wouldn’t even talk to her. She knew that was going to be a fact. She’d stay hidden away until she could escape, and she would be left on her own in a sea of mostly people she didn’tknow. Her nerves had been bad enough to begin with coming here at Saylor’s invitation, but add in Fallon’s upset?
What were they even doing together?
