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“Hey, Mom, what’s up?”
“Jade! I just wanted to call and see how you are.”
“Things are good. Just got out of rehearsal.”
“Oh! Are you in a play?”
She sounds bright and cheery. I don’t think she’s just been dumped, and I don’t think she’s gotten engaged—she would have said so already if it were either one of those. I was better at reading her emotions when I still lived at home, and I’ve gotten sloppy since moving two hours away.
“A one-act,” I say. “How are things with Rob?”
“He’s just lovely, Jade. He’s so thoughtful. He just picked me up for a date and took me to dinner. He bought me flowers and paid for everything. He’s just so charming.”
“Sounds like the bare minimum,” I say and give a tight-lipped smile to another student passing by.
“Don’t spoil my fun!” Mom says, but she’s not mad. She’s kicking her feet and giggling, and I wish I could do the same with her, but I’ve been burned too many times to encourage her to build fires.
“I’m glad he’s treating you well,” I say, knowing full well the only way through this conversation is . . . through. I let her tell me about how they met and every date, and by the time I’m back at my apartment, she isn’t done, but I am.
“Hey, Mom, I’m sorry to interrupt. I just got home, and I had a long day.”
“Of course! I’m just over here talking your ear off. Next time, you tell me all about your play.”
“It’s a one-act,” I mumble. “I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”
I hang up in the middle of her saying “Bye.” Which is rude, but I have a feeling she barely noticed. That’s the way things are with my mom when she’s in love: she just doesn’t fully notice everyone around her. I used to get mad at her for it, but now I know that’s a waste of my energy.
So much of my energy has gone toward my mom in my life, and college has been the first time I’ve really felt free of the roles she and I have always played. Here, I get to just be me, occasionally playing the part of dutiful daughter, whereas at home, it’s a different story. Every time Mom calls or texts, I get all tense, knowing I have to slip back into that old role for as long as she needs me.
I dump all my things at the end of the couch and snag a Diet Coke and some Nerds Gummy Clusters from the kitchen. I flop onto the couch, grateful no one else is around so I can have the TV all to myself. I pull a blanket around me and turn onThe Real Housewivesreruns, letting myself be free of being anyone’s daughter for at least the rest of the night.
7
IAN
“I shall desire of you more acquaintance . . .”Act III, Scene I
“It’s ‘I’d work in a lumberyard,’ not ‘I’d be a lumberjack,’” Jade says, correcting the line I got wrong.
It’s a crisp fall day and the whole world is some shade of red, orange, or brown. The blue of the sky only accentuates the leaves, making them almost shiny. It’s the kind of day that makes you want to eat pumpkin-flavored everything. Jade found us a table by the fountain right outside the cafeteria, and we’ve been parked here for the day to run lines and hang out.
“‘In a fucking lumberyard,’ that’s right.” I tap my forehead as if I’m slapping it into remembering what it needs to remember. “I don’t know why I always forget that one.”
“You’re doing a lot better. I don’t want to inflate your ego too much, but I’m impressed with you,” Jade says, leaning back in her chair to stretch.
Jade and I have spent the past five days together, running lines for anywhere between one and three hours. It’s been morehelpful than I expected it to be, and now, two days from our next rehearsal, I have my lines almost completely memorized. I’m proud of myself for all the work I’ve done, but even more than that, I’m so thankful I have a scene partner willing to help me.
“Only took me three weeks to impress you? That’s a record for me,” I say, and Jade throws her head back laughing.
My stomach feels tight when I make her laugh like that. I don’t think I could call it a crush yet, but man, it makes me feel good to make Jade laugh. I’m pretty sure she didn’t even like me three weeks ago.
“Ready for a lunch break?” she asks. “I thought we could eat together, build chemistry. Your way.”
“Oh, so you mean use our mouths for conversation instead of kissing?”
“Ugh, so boring,” Jade says as we pack up our scripts and head into the caf “But if you change your mind, we could make out in the library.” She points to the library, just beyond the tables where we were just sitting. “I haven’t made out with anyone before in there, but Jessie is always telling me how great it is.”
I’m guessing Jade says this kind of thing to everyone. Considering our disaster of a hookup, I doubt very much she’d be interested in trying anything like that with me again.
