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I schedule some follow-up appointments, and we sit in the car in the parking lot in total silence. Not even the radio is on as we both stare straight ahead at the cars racing by us on the street on the other side of the parking lot.
I think we’re both feeling a sense of whiplash.
I know I am, anyway.
“Congratulations,” he finally says softly.
I grunt a little. “I could say the same to you.”
He reaches over and takes my hand in his. “I know this is scary, Des, but you won’t be alone.”
Tears fill my eyes at his words—not at how sweet the sentiment is, but at the fear of what comes next.
It’s nice he’s saying I won’t be alone for the pregnancy, but how can I not dread the idea of a future when the baby is here and we’re still not a guarantee? I realize nothing is a guarantee, but he’s already proven he’ll run when things get too scary. How do I know he won’t run again?
I don’t. And even if he doesn’t, I think about my own father’s warnings when it came to life in the league and being with afootball player. He wasn’t around for half the year when I was a baby. Was my mom alone and scared? It’s not something we’ve ever talked about.
My own heart has already been broken by this man once, and I’m not sure I can walk into all the risk of Asher Nash when there’s a baby involved.
Chapter 43: Asher Nash
I Love You
She’s quiet all the way back to the apartment, and her roommate is there when we get back. The roommate eyes me carefully.
“You’re Asher,” she says.
I nod.
“I’m Addy.” She sticks her hand out. “I’ve heard so much about you. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
I shake her hand. “And you.”
“You okay, Desi?” she asks.
Des twists her lips and nods, and I stand helplessly as I’m not sure what Addy knows and doesn’t know.
“We went to the doctor. I’m seven weeks,” Desiree says.
Addy rushes over and gives her friend a hug. The friend seems like a good one as she rubs her back and murmurs how everything’s going to be okay. “I’ll, uh, give you two some time,” she says, and she walks down a different hallway, presumably toward her bedroom.
“Do you want to sit outside?” I ask, nodding to her balcony so we can have some privacy. There are a few things I want to say to her.
She nods, and I follow her out. We each take a seat and stare out over the water, and I’m not even sure where to begin.
“I came here today to beg you to take me back,” I say quietly.
“And now?” she asks.
I lift a shoulder. “Now it feels even more like we belong together. Like this happened to draw us back into each other’s lives.”
She presses her lips together. “A baby doesn’t fix things, Asher. If anything, there are even more complications to consider now.”
“I realize that, and I know it won’t be easy. But I would love it if you considered moving to Vegas. I’m stuck there at least until the end of the season, or else I’d move here to be closer to you. And on the plus side, in Vegas, you’ll be closer to your parents.”
Her jaw slackens a little as she looks over at me. “You’d move here? Just like that?”
“I’m struggling here, Des. I want to do what’s right for you, and for us…and for the baby, and if that means San Diego, then it means San Diego.” I leave out the fact that she was planning to move to Vegas anyway.
