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But this is different. Asher and I…we were never really dating. We didn’t fall in love.
We had a few good nights together, and the sex was great, and we were starting to form a foundation, but that’s it. We didn’t get that first layer of cement strong enough to build on top of it, I guess.
Maybe I'm making too big of a deal out of this. He does have intense practices and a game on Sunday. I grew up around this life, so I know what his schedule is like. I try to cling to thatrather than to disappointment. Maybe I should take him at his word rather than feeling like I’m dropping off his priority list.
It’s just my past coming back to haunt me. It has nothing to do with Asher.
Except…it feels an awful lot like the same thing.
In the morning, I head to the Complex to meet with Erin. I haven't told Angelica that I'm leaving yet, but I get the process moving to secure my position with the Aces. The offices are fairly quiet when I arrive, which is another reminder that both players and coaches are busy as they prepare for Sunday's matchup.
After I meet with HR, I head down to my dad's office to say hi. I stop outside the open door when I hear voices, and I recognize one of the voices as Asher’s.
“I know you said you wanted an outline by Wednesday, but I got it done last night.”
I hear some papers rustling around and a long pause, followed by my dad's voice. “Holy shit, Asher. This is fantastic.” More page flipping, and then my dad says, “I knew I picked the right man for this job.”
I have no idea what they’re talking about, but I also feel like it's probably not my business even though the office door is open. I turn and weave through the maze of hallways to let myself out as I think about how Asher is the right man formyjob, too.
That conversation made it clear that my dad and Asher have become close, and I wonder if that is pulsing even more of a hesitation in Asher regarding the two of us. He must feel torn between his obligation to my dad and his feelings for me, if they are even a fraction as intense as the feelings that I'm having for him.
I can't let this go, but I also don't know how to save it. I don't know how to fight against his history when it comes to how he feels about relationships.
He has openly admitted he's never had a serious relationship, and it scares me that his instinct is going to be to run, especially after our talk about commitment and how he felt about his parents’ divorce.
He is committed to football. That's where his first allegiance has been for his entire career, his entirelife, second only maybe to the Nash family.
I do not fall into either one of those camps, and it's scary to think that I might end up disappointed—or worse, heartbroken.
My mom and I go out for dinner a little later in the evening, but my dad doesn't join us since he's working long hours drafting up the game plan for this weekend.
After we order and our wine is served, my mom says, “So you signed the paperwork with the Aces today?”
I nod. “I’m so excited for the opportunity.”
“You know you have to be an Aces fan now, right?”
I laugh. I’m a big fan of the tight end already, though I refrain from mentioning that. Instead, I shoot her a wink. “Unless they’re playing the Storm.”
She laughs. “Are you sure you don’t want a position with Berkshire?”
I press my lips together and shake my head. “The people you chose to run it are doing a fabulous job, Mom. I appreciate the offer, as always, but I’m not interested.”
“What about event planning for the hotel group? There’s plenty to do there.”
“I know, but you know how I feel about it.”
“Mm,” she hums as she presses her lips together in disapproval before she takes a sip of her wine.
“I know I’m a disappointment,” I say quietly.
“Oh, honey, no. That’s not at all what I think. I’m very proud of you, even more so because you’re strong and stubborn andwilling to do things your own way. You remind me of myself in that way.”
I raise my brows. “You do things your own way?”
“My mom and dad never approved of your father, but I married him anyway.” She shrugs. “They drafted up an airtight prenup, but I knew we’d never need it.”
“I think that’s really sweet. Did you want a part in Berkshire?” I ask.
