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“I can’t do this,” I mutter, and I push back from the wall and walk out of the small hallway. I walk through the bar, not bothering to say goodbye to my teammates, and out the front door, and then I head for home.
Chapter 21: Desiree Dixon
Mansplaining Pro Baseball Teams
I stand in the hallway a little longer, the rejection raw and real as it pulses through me. Disappointment filters in, yet hope still remains.
I want you in a way I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted anyone before.
Those words play on repeat in my head. I’m not sure I’ll ever get over them.
He wants me, and I want him…but we can’t be together.
I should’ve known that’s how he would respond when he found out who I was, and that’s exactly why I didn’t tell him the night we met. These football players form special relationships with their coaches, and while he didn’t know my dad well back at the time of the charity ball, I’m willing to wager he does now.
I’ll find out. I’ll ask questions. I’ll get the inside track from my dad.
I’m not sure if it’ll matter given how adamant he is about the fact that he can’t do this. But he was about to give in. He didn’t forget me. I don’t know that he was as obsessed as I was over the last three months, but the things he said to me tell me he’s fighting a fight with himself over this whole thing.
But it’s a fight he won’t win.
Not when the pull between us is this strong and the temptation is this alluring.
I head out of the hallway and back toward Ellie, who’s talking to a player. I glance over and spot Kaylee, who’s making out with her husband.
I twist my lips as I realize these really aren’t my friends—not yet. Not like the girls back home are.
It doesn’t feel like there’s a place for me here, and as hopeful as I was before I ran into Asher in that little hallway, I’m sort of feeling the opposite now.
Why would I move here when this isn’t the place for me?
“What’s wrong?” a voice beside me asks. I glance over and find Luke Dalton, and I offer a smile.
“Oh, nothing. I don’t really know anybody here.” I shrug.
“Well, then allow me to introduce you.” He starts walking away without another word, and he expects me to follow him. I was using it as my excuse to get the hell out of here, but he’s using it as his reason to keep me here.
We walk up to the table with a bunch of wide receivers and running backs, and Luke slings a friendly arm around my shoulders. “I’d like to introduce Coach Dixon’s daughter, Desi. Desi, this is everyone.” He turns to me. “What are you drinking?”
“Mexican mule.”
“You got it,” he says to me. He pushes the player at the end of the booth to indicate he should scoot in, and then he walks away toward the bar to get me that drink.
I wave awkwardly. “Hi, everyone.”
The woman across the table from me grins. “Welcome to the crazy,” she says. “I’m Victoria, and that’s Tessa.” She points to the woman on the other side of Tristan Higgins, the man next to me. “This is Mandy,” she says, leaning around Travis Woods, who’s sitting beside her, and pointing to the woman between him and Jaxon Bryant. “We like to drink vodka and talk about anything other than football. Specifically spicy books.”
My ears perk up. “Spicy books?”
She nods. “Some call it smut, some call it trash, but it’s neither of those things. We read stories about strong women finding themselves as they find love, and if there happens to be somehot sex in it, well, then our men get the added benefits of that.” She elbows her husband, and I sort of feel like I walked into a conversation they were having before I got here. He grins and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, and I can’t help but laugh.
“The only people who call it trash are uninformed,” I say. “Are you three in a book club?”
Victoria shakes her head. “No, we just trade the best books back and forth.”
“Who called it trash?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at the men.
“Oh, nobody here. They all know better than that,” she says with a laugh. “I actually own the cutest little bookstore not too far from here, and I heard a customer’s husband say it the other day.” She rolls her eyes. “He also started mansplaining to her about how there isn’t a pro baseball team in the city the book took place in. Like, no shit, dude, it’s freakingfiction.”
