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“You were grieving. You did your best to keep going regardless. You failed, and you recovered. And the leadership you showed a fortnight ago? That was exceptional, Hayden.Exceptional.You magicked a team together out of nowhere and made that wedding party happen. Of course I want to keep you.”
That’s it.
I’m done.
The picture book blurs. The whole world does. I can only blink it away when he finally outright asks, “The test you failed?”
I nod, waiting for a boulder to finally crush me.
Luke asks this oh-so quietly next. “Do I need to be concerned about any current issues relating to it?”
I’m not gritty now. I’m choked. “You really don’t, but…”
This is the closest I can come to voicing aloud what didn’t only fuck up my future. Perhaps that’s why this is edged in desperation. “Test me anytime you want. Every day if you need to. Test me at random, with no notice and no warning.”
His hand lands on my shoulder, firm and certain. “I think you’ve tested yourself more than enough.” He retreats to retrieve his still-sleeping daughter, coming back with her to whisper, “Jamila keeps asking to go to your clearing. Can I tell her next week, maybe, depending on your harvest duties?”
“You mean…”
“How about we give each other a short-term trial?” Luke suggests. “With three conditions. The first is that I want you to think about getting a formal Forest School teaching qualification.”
“A qualification?” That doesn’t sound short term. “How long would that take?”
“A year. Two if you need to stretch out your studies.” He must guess cost as my reason for hesitating. “That’s an investment the school could probably cover if you are committed. Let’s give it until the half-term break for both of us to decide whether you being here long term will work out.”
Long term? I’ll settle for a single winter if that comes with somewhere to live and steady earnings.
“The fine detail is negotiable.” He meets my eyes again, and there’s nowhere to hide from this steel. “This next condition isn’t. That’s due to the tough roads many of our students take to reach Glynn Harber. They have had traumatic journeys. I can’t leave them in the care of someone who hasn’t processed their own.” He touches that star in heaven on the book cover, and Iguess he means bereavement although I’m a whole decade past needing a bedtime story to console me. Luke says, “Reece is the expert with that process, but he’s?—”
“In France?” My gaze flashes to a big blond man working alongside Rae in some of those photos, and I must have guessed right because Luke nods.
“That’s why you’ll need to agree to engage with him as soon as he comes back, which has to involve being open about exactly what you went through, Hayden. About every little detail. He’ll be back after the half-term break. Until then, I’ll find a mentor to work with you.” His gaze doesn’t waver. “That’s nonnegotiable as well. Not because I don’t trust you, but because I’m not sure you trust yourself. Not yet. But you will be able to in future if you’re prepared to do the hard work.”
“I’ve never been scared of that.”
“No.” His gaze warms with a smile. “And I’ve seen you do plenty of it for other people. How about you do some of it for yourself?Onyourself. You won’t regret it.” He tacks on a third condition I wasn’t expecting. “And maybe you wouldn’t regret taking over our football coaching too.”
I sink. Or my soul does, at least, and he must notice.
“We can lose that condition, if playing again doesn’t spark joy for you. What you made for the children this summer clearly does, and if that’s all you have to give, it’s already more than enough.”
Something inside me rises then, lifting me like cliffside thermals do to gulls. I fly, soaring the same way I imagined I would if a stadium full of fans had roared for me.
Tonight, I hear them cheer instead of jeering my walk-off.
This is really happening.I’m going to get what I want.
Or part of it, at least.
Only one thing could make this result even sweeter, and this picture book that I carry out of the library for Luke whilehis hands are full with his sleeping daughter is a star-covered reminder.
Now I wish even harder that I’d swapped phone numbers with Rae.
Did he score a yes for his dream too?
Fuck it, if I really was a fairy king like that drawing he left for me, I’d cast a spell to make that happen for him, then I’d cast a second one to magic him back here to tell me himself.
Luke leaves me at the front door to go grab some paperwork, the click of his heels echoing through this empty building. So does the sound of different heels on mosaic, and maybe I don’t need magic.
