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I won’t forget Finn and Willow either.
They laugh through best-man speeches before visiting every table, and none of this was their first plan, but I think they got some of what they wanted. And for all that I’m no candidate for long-term commitment, they make marriage look appealing. Willow reaches our table, and I can’t remember the last time I was hugged this hard while watched by someone as proud of me as Rae looks, and that pride?
It’s been a while.
No wonder it gets to me.
So does this bride and groom having a first dance on a dance floor with the sun dipping low behind them, and that is what Rae also captures—love framed by an archway, complete with a sunset that kisses the horizon like dew kissed my hems this morning. He draws gorse and dots it with yellow. With gold. With more of that magic as the afternoon turns to evening and the dance floor crowds to the voice of an angel.
Rae must like what Rowan sings—his head pops up like a meerkat and he’s up on his feet, heading to join the dancers. He turns, a hand extended, and I get to my feet to join him.
One of last night’s soldiers beats me to it.
The crowd closes around Rae and that Royal Engineer, and when it opens again, I spot them dancing. So does someone I didn’t realise had joined me—Marc takes the seat Rae vacated.
“You really gonna let that happen?”
His husband is just as relentless, only he’s quieter about it. I didn’t know Stefan was behind me until he says, “He hasn’t stopped looking at you all evening, you muppet,” and then tips my chair up. “Go make some hay while the sun’s still shining.” That’s an exaggeration for this deepening dusk, but I don’t stop to argue the point. I’m already moving, because no.
No.
I’m not letting what feels like another big chance get stolen.
That’s what I haven’t been able to tune out since getting reminded of a test I failed.
Failed?
My last shot was stolen from me, even if I don’t like to revisit what led up to that moment. It’s too late to do anything about it.
There are years between me and the clueless kid I once was. Tonight, I’m a different person, so I plough a direct path across the dance floor to someone I’m not ready to surrender to a stronger player.
That determination must show.
The soldier I tap on the shoulder has seen combat, but he still takes one look and holds his hands up, laughing. The person he dances with turns too.
It isn’t Rae.
I barely hear this soldier’s explanation over Rowan’s second song of the evening. “Your boyfriend went looking for you.”
“Hey.”
I turn, and fuck me, Rae looking relieved to find me is better than winning any trophy. He’s so pleased to see me, and it doesn’t matter that tonight’s bride and groom lost their champagne budget when their first choice of venue went bust. This fizz at being his first choice is just as heady.
It sucks that I won’t be after tonight.
I stutter to a halt—only for a moment—but Rowan’s song spirals like something trapped in my chest does, and forget everything I said about not being a long-term prospect. I hold out a hand as if I am.For him.It’s way steadier than I feel when Rae takes it, only I don’t dance with him. I lead him outside, heading away from the wedding celebration and bypassing circle after circle of pretty bell tents where fairy lights glow now that the sun is setting.
I take Rae in a different direction.
The woods I lead him into are deeply shadowed. They are also fenced off, and I open a gate and then slide a bolt home behind us.
I don’t need light to know where next to take him.
He laughs, clinging on tight after he stumbles. “Where are we going?”
“Somewhere the newlyweds usually stay. I would have hung lights to show the way, only Finn and Willow wanted to be closer to their families.” Which I kinda understand if they don’t get to see each other often. In hindsight, I wish I’d spent more time with mine. “They picked a spot with a little bit of distance, but not with this much seclusion. To each their own. I’d always choose this tent first. It’s my favourite.”
He stumbles again.
