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When she didn’t get a response, not even the smallest of blinks to show that her mom had heard her, Jazz stalked forward until she stood directly in front of her and reached for her hands.
The contact was sadly foreign. For years now, the most she’d gotten from either of her parents were pecks on the cheek without any of them never connecting. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d given her a hug; it had been so long ago it must have been when she was still in elementary school.
Victoria cleared her throat. “Are you feeling unwell? It could be a lack of vitamin D.”
Jazz snorted sadly.
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” she said with a shake of her head.
“Whatdidyou mean then?”
“I meant that I love Leo,” she answered with a lift of her shoulders. They were feeling lighter and lighter with every second that passed. “I love Leo and I’m tired of you not listening to me. Not just about him, but about everything. You think you know what’s best for me but honestly, you don’t. You don’tknowme.”
“Jasmi—”
“Let me finish,” she insisted, her voice cracking with the emotions swirling in her chest. “Just listen. Please?”
Victoria nodded, her eyes showing a hint of moisture.
“I love where I live, I love my friends, and I love being a nurse.” Jazz sniffed back tears. “I know that you and dad wanted me to be a doctor, but did you ever ask why I didn’t want to?”
“No.” Victoria answered. “Why would we? You’re so smart, Jasmine Jane. With our connections, you would have so many more lucrative opportunities than simply being a nurse.”
“But that’s whatIwant,” she argued. “Why can’t you understand that becoming a doctor was your dream, not mine.”
“But why?”
“Because I want to be able to have kids and be home when they need me. I want to go to their school plays and volunteer in their classes on my days off,” she unloaded, listing the ways she’d wished her own mom had been involved. “Hell, I want to take them trick-or-treating and not expect my maid to mother my children.”
“We never—” Victoria argued, only to stop when Jazz squeezed her hands gently.
“You were never there. Janet went to every school assembly from the time I was eight until I graduated.Shewas the one sitting in the first row watching me when I was in the Christmas plays every year. Not you. Not dad. Just Janet.”
Her mother scoffed. “That’s ridiculous—”
“You guys didn’t even come to my college graduation for Pete’s sake.” Jazz blew out a breath, not wanting to let her anger get the better of her. “I’m going to be present for my family. I want ahomefilled with hugs and mess and laughter. I want the opposite of what I had growing up.”
“Jasmine Jane, we provided everything you needed as a child.” Her mom sniffed, looking hurt.
Jazz shook her head slowly.
“Not emotionally. I made do with Janet, and she was fantastic, but it wasn’t her role. It was yours.”
“Don’t be silly.”
“It’s not silly. It’s something that bothered me.”
“You never said anything.”
“You’re right,” she admitted, having already accepted the blame for her part in this mess. She was at fault just as much as they were. “I didn’t say anything. You want to know why? Because I understood how important your work was to you. I just wished it hadn’t been more important than me.”
“I was a bad mother? Is that what you’re saying?”
“No, you were the mother that you were,” she told her with a shrug. It had taken a bit of time for Jazz to accept that and move on. There was no sense in beating a dead horse. “You can’t go back in time and give me hugs or kiss me at night when you tuck me in. That time is long gone, but things can be different going forward. I want them to be different.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Victoria whispered, looking unsure of herself for the first time that Jazz could ever remember.
“Just tell me you love me, no matter what.”
