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“Wait, what? Asses? As in more than one? But I thought you said Papa was your true love.”
“He was my one true love and mate, but it took me hundreds of years to see that. All the while your father was patient, caring, supportive, and yes, a bit of a jackass too.” I sensed her rolling her eyes behind her lids.
“He loved telling me that I could deny it all I wanted, but one day we’d end up together. Want to know what the bastard said after I told him I loved him for the first time?I told you so.” She snorted. “With the biggest smirk on his face too. I almost followed the confession with a punch to his throat.”
I giggled.
“Even though he could infuriate me like nothing else, what I wouldn’t give to go back and tell him I loved him sooner. It’s the biggest regret of my life that I wasted hundreds of years not feeling as blissfully happy and loved as he made me.
“Don’t make my mistake,” she whispered. “Don’t spend a single day being less happy than you could be. Meya gaveblessings to the bugs and birds. She has even more wonder and adventure in store for you.”
“Oh, Mama...” I fell on her other side, clutching her tight and blubbing against her shoulder.
It was a while before my tears stopped, but that was okay. They weren’t all sad tears. Some were hopeful for the promise of happiness to come with the man who made me want to punch him in the throat and kiss him until I couldn’t breathe—all in the same measure.
Taking a deep breath, I let it out slow—hugging her tighter. “You know, I was actually thinking of you and Papa when I was trying to get Alisdair to fall in love with me. Will you tell me more stories about him? What was it, in the end, that changed everything for you two?”
She didn’t reply.
“Mama? Are you asleep?” I peeked over her shoulder, and froze. “Mama? Are you okay? Mama?”
I shook her gently, then harder. She flopped in my grasp—eyes closed shut.
“Mama!”
Jerking in surprise, Savia started bawling.
I grabbed my baby sister and scrambled off the bed. Feet tangling, I fell hard on my butt and kept going, crawling back until I hit the wall. Clamping my hand over my mouth, I screamed—nails piercing my cheek smothering my cries.
I thought I knew pain. I suffered unbearable agony trying to force the magic through the bindings around my soul—shredding myself from the inside. What I wouldn’t give if it only hurt that much.
Tucked in that corner alone with my crying sister, my smothered wails leaked through my tear-soaked fingers. I cried and cried until there was nothing left in me, then evermore I cried.
“Calli?”Knock-knock.“Is everything okay? Does Savia need a bottle?”
I sucked in hard, shuddering breaths—roughly wiping my face.
“Calli, open up. I’ve got Mama’s medicine.”
By the time I got to my feet and crossed to the side table, my tears were gone.
I blew out the candles, plunging the room in darkness, and opened the door. Meli tried to come in and pulled up short when I held out Savia, keeping my red, puffy face cloaked in the shadows.
“She is hungry,” I croaked. “Would you mind feeding her? I’ll give Mama her medicine.”
“Oh, but—” She tried to peer around the baby. “I was hoping to spend some time with Mama. Gisela and Jaclan are doing their lessons now, so I can spend the rest of the day with her until I start supper.”
I squeezed my eyes shut as a wave of sorrow drowned me. “How about a trade? You feed Savia now, and I’ll cook supper, so you have more time sitting with her.”
“Hmm. Okay,” Meliora said—so light. So unaware. “That’s a fair trade. Come here, baby.” She took our fussy sister and held her close, dropping a kiss on her crown. “Be back soon, Mama.”
Only when she descended the stairs did I shut the door, resting my forehead upon it. Of course I couldn’t hide the tragedy that just cratered the soul of our family. I simply... wanted her to be as happy as she was for a little while longer.
My feet carried me away, bringing me to her side. Carefully, lovingly, I rested her on her back, crossed her arms, and tucked her in tight. “I love you, Mama,” I whispered. “I already miss you more than there are stars in the sky.
“I promise, I’ll take care of them. It won’t be right away. It won’t even be soon, but one day you’ll look down from theMeadows, and you’ll see us all as you were—blissfully happy and loved.” She swam in my vision. “Good—”
“Ahh!”
