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“Maybe.” His eyes narrowed briefly. “You can write a song in a thunderstorm and find meaning in a ruined dress and give too many chances to someone who doesn’t deserve it. It’s reckless and amazing and distressing to someone like me. What makes you live life like all of it is a gift?”
“Because it is,” she replied simply.
It’s not like she ignored her feelings. Or pretended like it didn’t hurt. Sometimes it hurt beyond the telling of it. But she also wasn’t afraid to feel it. Every emotion had a purpose. She’d learned long ago that the purpose wasn’t to harm her, but to teach her. It’s what made it possible for her to write music that touched others, that spoke for them when they couldn’t speak for themselves.
Taking a breath, her heart caught in her throat, knowing she was about to admit more than she usually did. “Life is a frustrating, terrifying, beautiful act of defiance,” she said. “My dad always says that I was born already in love with life.”
His frown deepened and his eyes moved over her face like he was trying to read something beyond what he saw.
But there wasn’t anything more there. It was just her. It was always just her. She lived her life fully exposed and fully alive because she didn’t know any other way to be.
“I get to live for a moment. I’m a flash of pain and joy and breath. I’ve known that my whole life. Tell me why that isn’t the most terribly wonderful gift someone can be given?”
CHAPTER THREE
ULTRAVIOLET
ASA
Her driver picked her up in the morning, shortly after sunrise.
She put her number in his phone and stole his copy ofReturn of the Kingwith a promise to return it with his shirt.
And then she was gone.
He hoped he hid his surprise well when the sun had started to come up.
Somewhere between his panic attack and her leaving, he’d become a huge fan of Zara Lorna. Not just the musician—though that too—but the woman.
They’d talked all night long about art and music and life.
They talked about their families and how they’d grown up. She was from Jersey, raised by a single father and had much younger siblings that she adored. She didn’t push for him to talk about his own family but for the first time, he’d kind of wanted to.
They talked about how they’d first gotten into music and what parts of writing were their favorite. About touring and what places had surprised them.
They talked aboutLord of the Ringsand he found out what an incredible dork she was.
And when a text from André had come through at 3:30am of a picture with Nikki holding her brand new baby girl, Zara had asked if she could hug him.
So they’d hugged and cried over the new human, Amber Nicole Debois.
It was easily in the top five of the greatest hugs of all time. Probably top three.
Normally staying up all night long would have made him grumpy for the day ahead. He abhorred missing sleep.
But for some reason he didn’t care at all. Something about the scratchiness in his eyes and the fog in his thoughts made him feel…lighter. If that were even possible.
Maybe that was because he had developed a massive, unrealistic, and unexpected crush on her.
But who wouldn’t, he reasoned. Spending that kind of uninterrupted, unfiltered time with one of the greatest artists of their generation, anyone would be helpless to resist her magnetism.
She was…
She was incredible. He could honestly say he’d never known anyone like her. So full of life and fire. It was almost enough tomake him think he had a little bit of those things left burning inside him as well.
He sat down at a charging station, plugged in his phone and put in his earbuds.
Had it really been that long since he’d stayed up all night talking about music with someone?
