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“I’m sorry,” Asa said into the silence. “About last night. I shouldn’t have gone behind your back like that.”
“But if you hadn’t?—”
“Doesn’t matter,” he cut her off. He turned his body to face her. His dark eyes searching and sincere. “I won’t ever do anything like that again.” His Adam’s apple bobbed with a hard swallow and a muscle jumped in his jaw. “I keep thinking about how you looked at me when you found out.” He shook his head and blinked like he was seeing it even now. “I never want to be the cause of that. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
She didn’t know how much she needed to hear him say it. To hear him acknowledge what he’d done. She didn’t have to walk him through and tell him the right things to say. He’d gotten there all on his own.
And the tattered edges of her belief stopped flapping in the wind and started to stick together.
“I can work on being more sensitive to your concerns,” she admitted. “If I’d listened to you, we probably would have come to the same solution anyway.” She smiled apologetically. “We usually do.”
He brushed her arm with careful fingertips, his gaze asking something he was afraid to ask.
“It won’t be the last time my life is in danger,” she admitted, hating every word even though it was true. “Is that something you can live with?”
His eyebrows lifted and he huffed a humorless laugh. “I don’t think I have a choice.”
She licked her lips and blinked away the sting in her eyes. She didn’t like the next part. The part that felt like stepping onto the edge of a cliff. “But you do. You don’t have to do any of this. You don’t have to…stay.”
His gaze turned soft and he curved a hand around her jaw. She leaned into his touch. God, she’d missed him. She missed his warmth and the connection they’d shared since the beginning. It had grown and taken deep roots inside her.
She’d be okay if he decided this was all too much. She’d cry and parts of her would be changed forever. But she’d be okay.
“It’s like you’re trying to convince me I don’t need air to breathe,” Asa said, his voice warm and thoughtful.
She put a hand over his on her face because she didn’t want him to move away.
Asa’s eyes drifted over her face. Slow, calm, earnest. “Don’t you know what you mean to me?” he asked.
She inhaled, trying to fill her lungs and flood her brain with oxygen so she could think clearly. Her heart pounded like a demigod’s hammer on her sternum.
“Zara,” he said, the sound of her name on his lips soothing and exciting at the same time. “I love you.”
Her entire world stopped. He curved his other hand around her neck and jaw, cradling her face in both hands. His long fingers threaded through her hair and wrapped around the base of her skull.
“I love you,” he repeated. His eyes were like dark hot springs, full of healing and warmth. He held her gaze, making his meaning clear.
“But…”
He cut her off with a headshake. “No. Wherever you are is where I want to be. I don’t care what happens or where, I’ll choose you every time.”
“Really?” she asked, the disbelief in her voice betraying more honesty than she’d wanted. Not because she didn’t believe him; she just didn’t believe someone would choose her. After seeing what would happen, knowing the chaos and the drama and the lack of privacy. Who would choose that? Who would love her enough to put up with all the extra stuff she brought to the table?
He studied her, his eyes dropped to her mouth for a beat. “I love you so much,” he said, voice rough. “I love your mind and your laugh and your heart. The way you feel and create and dream. Everything that comes with you is worth it. You’re worth it.”
Maybe he had more to say, she didn’t know. Her arms had encircled his neck and she pulled him down while simultaneously pushing up on her toes as high as she could go. When their lips met a small sound of relief echoed through her chest and throat.
His hands moved, one across her back and the other to the back of her head.
And he kissed her.
He kissed her and kissed her and kissed her. Sweet relief and tender tastes mingled between them. Their bodies pressed together, as close as they could get and everything inside her came to rest.
All of her doubt and fear and apprehension ceased their chattering and she was left with a peaceful knowing.
This was it.
She was kissing the rest of her life.
