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It made her simultaneously thankful and apprehensive.
Because while she was mostly used to her life being insane and gargantuan, he had only seen glimpses of it. Small flashes of crazy and massive.
And that was probably her driving principle in wanting to keep things from being upended.
She wasn’t ready to be without him. But in the back of her mind, she knew it was unreasonable to ask him to stick around when this wasn’t a life he wanted. He’d expressed that many times. The anxiety that being in the public eye brought out in him wasn’t a joke. And it wasn’t something she could fix or pretend not to see. She wasn’t going to stop beingZara Lorna, Pop Star, and he wasn’t going to magically become comfortable being judged and analyzed by strangers.
Which meant the worst heartbreak of her life was just on the horizon.
So she was going to grab his hand and run in the opposite direction for as long as she could.
And that direction was to her happy place—the studio.
Because at the absolute very least, she’d have the best music she’d ever made to look back on and say, “That was real. That really happened. I loved and I was loved and this is what it felt like.”
The door to the control room opened and she lifted her head to see who it was. She’d been lying on the couch, her head in Asa’s lap, as they ran through different lyrical shifts for the song they were working on.
Nikki entered the room and eyed their physical proximity to one another. It wasn’t just that they were on the couch together. It was also how Asa was touching her. One hand was tucked into her hair while the other lazily traced a line from her neck down the center of her chest, stopping just between her breasts and then back up again. It was both soothing and sensual. She absolutely loved it.
But it was more intimate than they had been in front of others. Something about that morning’s unfortunate discourse had shifted them. They’d left their secret bubble and had walked casually into the open, hand in hand.
“You ready to do the bass track?” Nikki asked, her eyes skating over them. She sat down at the control board, her expression neutral.
Asa nodded and Zara sat up so he could go. But he didn’t leave right away. Instead he curved a hand around her jaw and held her eyes for a beat, not saying anything. His gaze moved over her face in a slow perusal, like he was memorizing it.
She leaned into his touch and he brushed a thumb over her lips. His eyelids dropped halfway and a lazy smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
“Be right back,” he promised needlessly.
He let her go and left the control room. She sank back into the sofa and wrapped her arms around her middle, trying to hold all of her feelings inside.
She loved him like she loved breathing. The same way she loved music. Like he was a part of her soul, both innocent and imperative. The rest in her sleep, the sweet in her dreams.
“So you and Asa, huh?” Nikki asked too casually, flipping switches and twisting dials.
Zara chewed on her bottom lip and waited. What was she supposed to say? Nikki and Asa had been friends for years. Maybe they should have told her first?
Nikki laughed softly to herself. “I guess I’m not surprised.”
“You’re not?” Zara asked.
Nikki shrugged and glanced at Zara over her shoulder. “Not really. I fully expected him to fall in love with you. You’re almost impossible not to love.”
Zara rolled her eyes even as she smiled at her friend. She knew she’d been pushy with Nikki. Basically forcing her to be her friend and then to produce her record (which won them all the awards so she wasn’t even a little sorry).
“But Asa…?” Nikki continued. She looked out the control window at him. “He’s a little more difficult to fall in love with. It takes a minute. He keeps his heart well hidden under thatgrumpy old man exterior. But once you’ve had him in your corner, there’s really no going back. You can’t buy loyalty and devotion like that. He’d fight a bear in a typhoon with one hand tied behind his back for someone he loves.”
Zara didn’t correct Nikki’s assertion that they were in love. She did love Asa. Even if she hadn’t told him yet. He hadn’t said it in so many words but she could feel it, see it, touch it, every time she was with him.
“I don’t know,” Zara said thoughtfully. “I think I started falling in love with him the moment he grabbed my hand at that afterparty. It wasn’t difficult at all. Staying away from him, pretending not to have feelings?Thatwas difficult. But loving him is easy.”
Nikki’s smile was like pure sunshine and Zara rolled her eyes.
“Stop it.”
“Nope.” Nikki shook her head. “I’m happy and I’m not about to hide it.”
ASA
