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It said something that Cas didn’t immediately call her and tell her to at least wait for him. Apparently, Asa had won Cas’s trust. Something Logan had never been able to do. Not that he’d tried.
Asa got on the bike and gave her a nod. She couldn’t see his face through the visor but she could picture his serious frown.
She climbed on behind him, forgetting for a second how close their bodies had to be for this to work. She had no sooner settled behind him than he grabbed her hands and pulled them around his middle. He said those words that affected her in a way no others ever had, “I got you.”
The bike came alive with a rumble that destabilized all of her fears and sorrows.
He took off down the alley and she held on.
Like last time, it took a while to get out of the city traffic. He took a different route this time and headed northwest.
Unlike last time, she got to experience the sunset.
How had it gotten this far?
Her life that is.
How had doing the one thing she happened to be good at left her hopelessly reaching for things she would never grasp? Things like love, companionship, and peace. It’s what everyone wanted, right?
She got to sing about it. Be the soundtrack to countless first loves and romance and promises of forever. But she was always watching through a glass wall.
Or maybe she was just feeling sorry for herself and she needed to knock it off.
Asa pulled over at a fast-food place while she was contemplating all of her life choices. He cut the engine and took off his helmet.
Looking at her over his shoulder he said, “If I get you an ice cream cone, will you eat it?”
She nodded. He grinned and helped her off the bike. He pointed to an outside set of table and chairs as he walked to the door. She took off her helmet and sat down.
The restaurant was moderately busy. Mostly teenagers and one dad with a handful of children in baseball uniforms. She could see Asa through the window, standing in line. He kept glancing in her direction, keeping her in view.
The sound of the nearby interstate was more soothing than she would have thought. Though how many people spent most of their teens and twenties on a tour bus?
She rested her chin in her palm, elbow to the tabletop as she gazed out into the dark nothing beyond the streetlights.
She could quit.
She almost had when her label had tried to play that trickery with Logan and her single release. Sonja had talked her into taking a break and really giving it the thought it deserved.
And that was the bullshit of it all. Here she was, bemoaning her life and all of its “hardships” when she couldn’t actually picture herself stopping. She loved what she did. She loved 99.99% of it. The recording, writing, touring, fans, meeting people like Sunshine and Nikki, winning awards. Her job had brought so much joy to herself and to others.
So what if she died alone?
Yikes.
She really needed to come up with a better retirement plan. Maybe she could get one of those birds that lived a long time and talked. That was sort of the same as a life partner, right?
Ugh.
And here she was, back to not knowing what the fuck she was doing. She’d been in Chicago for months and was no closer to knowing what to do about any of it. But the brand had kept right on going without her. That’s why Gregor hadn’t come along to Chicago. Someone had to stay behind and run the business.
The door of the restaurant opened and Asa came toward her with an ice cream cone in each hand.
How long until he resented her too?
She would have to leave before it got that far. Before he grew tired of the cloak and dagger and all the hoops. Because if he looked at her with that special fatigue that wore through a person’s best intentions, she wasn’t sure she’d get through it intact.
Chicago had never been a permanent plan. It was just a side quest and she couldn’t forget that.
