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Gently, she lifted Jessa to her shoulder, setting a muslin between herself and Jesse’s head, and began rubbing her on the back. Firm circles. Not patting. Maybe she had read Rami’s suggested list after all.
“Yes, because I need you close.” Rami ground his teeth in frustration. “Not like that. I mean, with Jessa and the curse, it’s just better if you’re close right now.”
“Not like that. Not like you want me around because, you know, you like me. Just because you’re worried about me. Is that right?”
She was still talking in a quiet, mellow voice, almost pleasant. Jessa cooed happily on her shoulder, resting one of herfat cheeks against it. But if Jessa weren’t there right now, Rami knew they’d be arguing. It was exactly the sort of thing he’d been trying to avoid by breaking up with her.
So, even though he knew he was stepping into a trap, he carried on. “That’s right. It’s safer. Neither of us wants this, but here we are.”
Vera got right up in Rami’s space, tilting her chin back to look at him. She snorted a laugh. “Well, sorry, but I’m not following that.” She jerked her head toward the schedule. “It’s my house too now, and I’ll come and go as I please, or I’m out of here, and you can find a new nanny.”
It wasn’t an empty threat. She didn’t make those.
“We’re going to the park now,” she said, spinning on her heel away from him. “And Rami? I brought alotof pajamas.”
Chapter 7 - Vera
For a child so small, Jessa seemed to come with an endless amount of supplies. Vera double-checked the diaper bag for bottles, formula, and Jessa’s favorite rattle before zipping it shut.
“All ready to go?” She asked Jessa, snapping the buckles shut on her car seat harness.
Jessa blinked sleepy eyes at her. According to the schedule she’d been working on, it was nearly time for her last nap of the day. Rami had snuck out early that morning, passing Jessa to Vera the moment she came downstairs, claiming he needed to meet Jonah first thing before work.
Despite her protests about his ridiculous plan to avoid each other, he’d done his best to make it happen. If he was home, he’d find a way to be anywhere she wasn’t—working in the backyard or the garage, up in his bedroom, or Jesse’s room, leaving Vera to spend her evenings alone on the couch.
In some ways, she found it amusing. He was treating her like some succubus that he couldn’t handle being near, and she liked knowing that he could barely fight his attraction toward her. In other ways, it hurt. She felt lonelier than ever. Jessa was good company when she was awake, but at her age, she spent most of her time sleeping.
She grabbed her travel mug of coffee, then lifted the handle of Jesse’s snap-in car seat and headed to the car. Frost glittered on the hood. After settling Jessa into her spot in the backseat, Vera pulled out of the drive and headed for the lighthouse.
Anxiety ping-ponged in her stomach, and the extra shot of caffeine probably wasn’t helping, but she wasn’t willing tocompromise on coffee. It was one of the few joys she had left in her life right then. That, and watching Rami’s eyes bulge every time she wore something short or tight.
Jonah and Rami had arranged for Moira to watch Jessa while some of the Silversands and Rosewoods hunted for clues about the curse, and that meant Vera had to face Moira again. She was pretty sure Jonah had filled Moira in on Vera’s new living conditions, which meant her sister would have a lot of questions that Vera didn’t want to answer.
She could just imagine the judgment in Moira’s eyes, especially after Vera had spent most of her life preaching to Moira about being responsible and striving for excellence. Now, it was Vera who had to eat her own words. Humiliating.
“Lucky you’re an only child.” Vera peeked in the rearview mirror to see Jesse’s reflection. Her eyes were closed, and she had the fleece blanket, patterned with tiny sheep, clutched in her little fist.
Somehow, she’d gone from barely thinking about relationships to spending all of her time thinking about them. She’d never given much thought to her relationship with Moira until it had fractured, and even then, she’d just stepped back, let the gulf between them widen until it seemed insurmountably large.
It was a short drive to the lighthouse, and too soon, Vera was pulling to a stop on the sandy road beside it, two tires in the dunes. The lighthouse windows glowed with warmth in the low light of dusk.She’s your little sister, stop freaking out.But Vera’s pulse pounded in her ears, and the steady hands that had completed so many surgeries were shaking.
Jessa didn’t stir when Vera lifted her out of the car. Diaper bag in one hand and baby in the other, she made her wayup the stone path to the lighthouse. She almost wished Jessa would wake up and start crying. At least that would give Vera an excuse not to talk much to Moira.
She knocked on the door and waited, watching the windows for signs of Moira’s approach. Shadows shifted on the other side of the curtains. Vera’s stomach tightened as footsteps approached the door, growing louder until it swung open and Moira was there, Cora on her hip. She wasn’t smiling.
Awkward. Vera cleared her throat. “Hey. Thanks for watching her for me.”
If Moria had her arms free, Vera was certain she would’ve crossed them. Her face was ten kinds of unwelcoming. But she shifted to the side and gestured for Vera to come in.
“Shut the door behind you,” Moira shrugged, “or leave it open if you plan to take off without a word again.”
Vera deserved that, and the biting tone it was delivered in, but she couldn’t help bristling. “Very funny.” She nudged the door shut with her heel.
As always, the lighthouse smelled like home cooking. Moira’s style couldn’t have been more different than Vera’s minimalism—there were blankets and pillows all over the couch and objects on nearly every surface—but it made for an undeniably homey space. Even if it made Vera’s skin itch.
“Hi there, Cora.” Vera smiled at her niece and got a shy one back. “You sure you can handle them both?”
It was the wrong thing to say, and she knew it the moment it left her mouth; it was too late to snatch it back.
