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“Uh…” Her brow furrowed in confusion before she glanced around as well and finally answered, “Yeah.”
“So you’re…” I gulped steadily, determined not to have a panic attack. “You’re leaving Westport? For good? You’re not coming back to Haverick in the fall?”
“I…” She winced and then shook her head. “I don’t think so. I just—everything feels so different now. My sister died here, and it’s…” Her gaze sought mine pleadingly as if begging me to understand. “I want to go home.”
I nodded to let her know I understood. And I did. She couldn’t come back without remembering the pain. But knowing she was leaving for good killed me.
“As soon as I transfer my rehab over to Galveston, I won’t really need this apartment anymore,” she was saying as she lifted her arm limply only to flash me a small smile and cross her fingers. “Here’s hoping I can get out of my lease agreement, huh?”
I tried to nod again, tried to be cool about this, but everything inside me felt as if it was crumbling. So I bowed my head and mumbled, “I need to go.”
But when I tried to step past her to escape, she caught my arm, crying, “Foster!”
She shook her head, and I knew I was being an ass. I should explain. But it just…hurt.
“I’m sorry,” I rushed out, then gripped my head and shook it. “I’m sorry, Raina. I just—I can’t do this.”
“Do what?Hey!” She tightened her grip on my arm, not letting me go when I tried to leave again. “Talk to me.”
I started to shake my head, only to harden my jaw and look straight into her eyes. “In there,” I said, pointing toward the bedroom. “When we did all that, you knew that was the only time we were ever going to be together, didn’t you?”
“I…” She blinked wide, startled eyes before shaking her head. “I don’t know. I guess. I didn’t really think about it. But yeah, I’m sure it was going to be the only time.”
Nodding along with her, I said, “I get it. I mean, you had to take the one chance to fuck the quarterback of the football team while it was there, right?”
It made sense.
Who could blame her?
But Raina pulled back as if I’d slapped her, and I winced, immediately wishing I could take those words back. “I’m sorry,” I gushed, lifting my hands and hating myself. “Like I said, I should go.”
This time, she let me pass, but she trailed after me as I searched the front room for my shirt. When I found it, it was so tangled that I struggled and fumbled to put it on, cursing when it only got more wadded.
“You know, you’re unbelievable,” Raina railed, scowling as I cursed and tried to straighten my shirt while jerking it on at the same time. “You wanted it just as much as I did. And I never once heard you pause and ask what it meant for us.”
“You’re right,” I snapped. “I didn’t ask. I’m being a jerk. And I hate it. And I really want to stop, but I just—stupid fucking shirt!” Wadding it into a ball, I threw it on the floor and then set my hands on my hips, bowing my head and breathing hard.
Raina was silent a moment before she hesitantly stepped forward and bent down to pick up the shirt. Then, she calmly untangled the cloth before slowly extending it to me.
I looked up at her and lost it. “You’re not her,” I rasped, breathing hard as I took the shirt and hugged it to my chest as if embracing a ghost.
Her ghost.
Clearly unsure what to do, Raina only shook her head, looking lost as she whispered, “What?”
I wiped at my face, trying to calm myself. But the fucking pain kept coming. “I thought it would be okay if you didn’t remember. You look like her. You sound like her. Everything you say is just…her. But—” My bottom lip trembled as I shook my head. “She never would’ve done to me what you just did.”
“Wha…?” Hugging herself, Raina asked, “But what did I do?”
I shook my head, unable to explain it, and instead, I told her, “When I asked everyone not to tell you about your spirit visiting me, it wasn’t really because I thoughtyouneeded to remember it first. It was becauseI…needed you to remember. There’s no way to tell you what happened and have youfeelit the same way we did while we were living it.”
Frowning in suspicion, Raina tipped her head at me and then said, “What the hell happened between us?”
So I just said it. “I fell in love with you.”
When her mouth dropped open, I lifted one shoulder. “Or I fell in love with some spirit version of you that probably doesn’t even exist.”
“But…” She shook her head, still gaping at me. “How? I—I was a freaking ghost. You couldn’t touch me. I was only in a coma for twoweeks.”
