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Laughing, she rolled to see my face. But when she met my gaze, her smile fell sad.
I swallowed in dread and traced the knuckle of one finger down the length of her cheek. “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head. “Nothing. I was just remembering the night Kinsey died. We talked about you.”
Acid filled my gut, sure nothing good would come fromthis, but I nodded, letting her know I was listening.
“She tried to convince me that you had to be an awful lover. That you’d be all vanilla and boring. But…” Her chin trembled once before she lifted her gaze to me and smiled. “Kins wassowrong.”
I sniffed out a small, relieved laugh. “I’m glad you think so.”
“Oh, Iknowso,” she assured with a satisfied groan as she ran her hand over my shoulder and down the side of my back before she squeezed a handful of ass. “That was by far the best I ever had. It was…perfect.”
Feeling choked up, I buried my nose back in her hair and said, “I thinkyou’rethe one who made it perfect.”
She only laughed. “Please. I know this was all Mr. Football.”
I froze, glad I still had my face hidden so she couldn’t see the shattered expression that I’m sure I had. But that’s all I was to her, wasn’t I? The football guy. A name. An image. An idea. She’d never see justFoster, would she? Not without remembering those lost weeks.
I’d been deluding myself to think this could work, thinking it would be okay if she never remembered. Because the girl I’d gotten to know and this one might be the same person, but they were also different.
It was too bad this one seemed just as intuitive as the one I’d lost, though. She pulled back to look at my face as if she knew something was wrong.
“Foster?”
I tried to pull it together; I really did. I forced a reassuring smile her way and said, “I’m going to get rid of this condom real quick. You need anything?”
“I…” She looked confused and hurt but shook her head and kindly said, “No. No thanks.” Only to quickly change her mind. “Actually, I’d take a damp washcloth.”
I nodded. “You got it. I’ll be right back.”
As soon as I stepped into the bathroom, I closed my eyes and whispered, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I was bombing this. I needed to pull my head out of my ass and stop thinking about everythingIneeded. She’d done nothing wrong, and I had to convey that to her before she kicked me out, and I never got to see her again.
Blowing out a breath, I screwed my head on straight—or, at least, I hoped I did—and I hurried through my cleanup before grabbing a washcloth and running it under some warm water.
After wringing out the excess, I glanced toward the shower, and memories swamped me, only making me missmyRaina even more.
Dammit. I told myself to stop, and I forced my gaze away so I could return to the real Raina.
She was sitting up in bed with her knees bent to her chest.
“Here you go,” I offered with what I hoped looked like a tender smile as I extended the washcloth toward her.
“Thanks.” Her voice was on the timid side, but she took the cloth gratefully.
Giving her some privacy, I turned to pull on my underwear and shorts. My shirt was still in the front room, so I tugged my shoes on, only to find that Raina had finished and was watching me with her arms now wrapped around her bent knees. She looked small and scared and naked, and I suddenly realized I shouldn’t have gotten dressed so quickly.
Sitting next to her on the bed, I tugged her into my arms and lowered my face next to hers before kissing her cheek. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” she told me softly, only to unwind her arms from around herself so she could crawl into my lap and hug me back. “I don’t know.” Shuddering in my embrace, she confessed, “No. I don’t think I am. Not really.”
“I’d be worried if you really were,” I admitted, burying my nose in her red-brown locks and kissing her ear. “What do you need?”
“I don’t—” She started, only to heave out a quick, body-seizing sob and ask, “You wouldn’t take it the wrong way and think you’d done anything bad or decide I was totally insane if I told you I just wanted to stay here, warm and protected in your arms for a while, so I couldcry, would you?”
My heart broke for her. “You let out whatever you need to, darlin’,” I murmured, stroking her hair.
“Oh God.” She shuddered, then grabbed onto the back of my shoulders. “Thank you. Thank you.”
