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Oh.Itfelt like he’d hurled that knife straight into her heart, like he’d taken all that dizzying warmth and pleasure and smashed it before her eyes.Andwhy couldn’t she breathe, why was her chest crumpling like this, she couldn’t weep before him, she couldn’t…
“I’msure that will be lovely for us both,” she somehow managed, through her too-thin breaths. “Nowget the fuck out of my house.”
Therewas an instant’s dangling stillness, a spasm inKillik’sthroat — and then a laugh, low and vicious, as he spun on his heel, and strode to the window.
“Withjoy,” he snarled, without looking at her. “Andif you dare touch my wolf again this night” — a low, vicious hiss in the darkness — “it shall be to your doom.”
16
Itwas another night of broken, miserable sleep.WithLouisalying stiff and fully clothed on the edge of her bed, as far away fromUlfarr’sunconscious body as she could possibly get.
Killikhad… threatened her.He’dhissed and growled at her.He’djabbed at her with her own damned knife.
Andwhile part ofLouisawanted to rage and weep, another part of her just felt cold, and resigned, and empty.Thishad been… foolish.Sofoolish.Anotherfoolish, selfish decision from a lonely, desperate widow.Seekinga way to escapeLordScall, and thereby locking herself into a bargain with another devil instead.Adevil who wasn’t only cold and mocking, but genuinely, viciously dangerous.
Ifyou dare touch my wolf again this night, it shall be to your doom.
Louisa’sheart skipped at even the thought of it, and she edged further away fromUlfarr, her eyes blinking on his shadowed, sleeping face.Hisface that somehow looked even more handsome, more vulnerable, in the guttering light of the lamp.Hisgrey skin so scarred, his black lashes thick against his hard cheeks, his mouth drawn downwards, hinting at sadness even in rest.
Andfor a breath,Louisadesperately wanted to reach out, to touch him, to curl up close and quiet against him.Toagain taste even a whisper of how she’d felt, in the midst of all that.So… safe.Soright.So… at peace.
Butno.No.Thatwould risk all ofKillik’swrath, and ruin all that hope for her future.Andgods, should she even be hoping for her future anymore?BecauseKillikhad shown her tonight how deep his promises went, right?Andshould she back out now?Shouldshe take the loss and run, and never see them again?
Shedidn’t know how long she stayed there, breathing too hard, blinking atUlfarr’ssad face in the darkness.Butshe must have fallen asleep at some point, because when next she jolted awake, it was to the shift ofUlfarr’sbig body twitching up in the bed, his breath audibly catching in his throat.
Louisa’seyes snapped open, blinking in the faint morning light from the window, and for an instant, she could only seem to stare atUlfarr, as he stared back.Hiseyes shifting first with confusion, and then disbelief — and then a rapidly rising alarm, as he glanced around the room. “Wheream —” he croaked, and then he squeezed his eyes shut, shook his head. “Where— where isKillik?”
Right.Ofcourse.Hestill wantedKilliktoo, just asKillikwanted him, andLouisahad to fight for air, shove back the memory ofKilliksnarling at her, pointing her own knife in her face. “He— left last night,” she replied, as steadily as she could. “Hewanted to let you sleep,Ithink.Buthe asked me to send you along after him, once you awoke.”
Therewas another instant’s silence, and thenUlfarrnodded, and heaved to his feet.GivingLouisaa sudden, shocking view of his broad scarred back, his firm rounded arse — and then just a shadow of bulky, hanging bollocks between his hairy thighs as he bent to swipe for his trousers.Yankingthem on with sharp, shaky movements, and then doing the same with his tunic, before kneeling and pulling on those soft black boots.
Onlythen did he glance back atLouisain the bed, something again shifting in his eyes — and she couldn’t tell if it was unease, or urgency, or maybe even regret.Ormaybe he was waiting for her to say something, to ask him to stay, or come back again — butLouisacouldn’t find a single word to speak.Andnow he was looking away, looking at the door.Asif he wanted to leave, of course he wanted to leave, he couldn’t justleave—
“Ican — walk you out, if you like,”Louisamanaged, her voice a rasp. “Justin case you — run into someone.”
Andgods, why hadn’t she thought of that sooner?Ulfarrshould have gone while it was still dark, while there was no risk of him being seen.Andshe could see that same awareness passing across his eyes, his mouth thinning to a grim line as he nodded.
SoLouisaclambered out of bed too, smoothing down her rumpled dress with shaky hands, and then staggering for the door.WavingUlfarrout ahead of her, and he instantly went, his shoulders stiff, his gaze held straight ahead.Andthough his steps were almost silent, the narrow stairs still loudly creaked under his weight, makingLouisawince with every step — but thank the gods, there was no sign of movement downstairs, no trace of her staff or the children.Andonce they stepped outside,Ulfarrgave a heavy exhale, his body sagging in the orange light of the rising sun.
“I… thank you,Louisa,” he said, quiet, with a brief, searching glance toward her. “Itwas a true honour to spend this night with you.”
Oh.Someof the tension untwisted fromLouisa’sbelly, and she nodded, and twitched a wan smile toward him. “Youtoo, sweetheart,” she replied, choked. “Ihad such a lovely time.”
Shemeant it, meant it so much it ached, and there was a sudden, foolish compulsion to lurch toward him, to embrace him, or clasp his hand, or press a kiss to his cheek.ButKillikhad said no touching, and he’d maybe even threatened to kill her.Andshe should be tellingUlfarrshe couldn’t see him again, it was too dangerous, that would be the safe, logical thing to do…
Butshe could only seem to stand there blinking at him, her hands now tightly clasped together.Waiting, not breathing, not weeping, asUlfarrfinally nodded, and turned and strode away.Hissteps still lurching, his shoulders hunching, as if he didn’t want to leave, either.
Louisawatched him go in stiff, miserable silence, her nose slightly sniffling with her breaths — and only onceUlfarrwas halfway down the lane did she notice the unmistakable silhouette ofJoan, standing in the stable door.WatchingUlfarrleave the house, gods damn it, whileLouisa— she shot a mortified glance downwards — was horribly rumpled, and still wearing yesterday’s dress, her hair surely a frizzy, highly betraying mess.
Louisacursed under her breath, and she knew she should go straight over toJoan, and attempt some explanation, some excuse.Butthere was only more cold, tired resignation, a dull ache behind her eyes.Shedidn’t want to lie toJoan.Shedidn’t want to pretend they weren’t all in danger.Shedidn’t want to acknowledge how foolish she’d been.Shecouldn’t bear to even think of how she’d touchedUlfarr, praised him, how desperately she’d wanted him, rutting wild and shameless upon him.
Soinstead of speaking toJoan, like any decent employer should,Louisacovered her eyes with a shaky hand, and ducked back inside, toward where she kept her bow.Shecould go hunting, she could get some air, some space, try to think, to work through this mess.Andthen she would come back, and talk toJoan, and make some kind of decision…
Buteven that plan instantly proved fraught, because onceLouisahad slung the bow over her shoulder, and gripped at her belt for her knife, she discovered — her knife was gone.Herknife, thatKillikhad sharpened last night, and waved around, and used to threaten her… and then he’d left.He’dleft, and he’d taken her damned knife with him.
Louisacould have screamed with frustration, but instead she gritted her teeth, and swiped for a far inferior, rust-streaked old blade the gardener had used for pruning.Andthen she stomped out into the forest, her eyes still stinging, her head pounding louder with every step.
Whathad she done.Whatwas she supposed to do.
