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“He raped me repeatedly, almost every night, up until eight months before graduation. Sonya, his wife, found the pregnancy test in the trash where I tried to hide it. She called a family meeting and then asked me about it, I told her I didn’t know who the father was. She called me a whore and a slut, while Silas tried to protect me from those hateful words. All I could do is stand there and cry.”
My thoughts go to my brother, making me smile a little. He has always been a protector, my protector, since the day we met. I am so happy that I still have him in my life because I honestly do not know what I would have done without his support.
“Silas must’ve had some idea of what was happening, because he called out David asking him why he is being so quiet and why did his face lose all color. Sonya immediately yelled at Silas for accusing his father of such horrible things, and I must have brainwashed her kids with my slutty ways. Emerson and Asia were huddled together on the couch, crying, not knowingwhat was going on, not understanding why their brother was yelling at their dad, and their mother was yelling at their brother.”
I take another breath. I feel as though more of the weight I have been carrying around since I was seven years old has lifted. I look into Atlas’s eyes, wanting to find comfort in those jade green orbs, but when I find them, they are so dark, tears threatening to fall over his lash line. I hear him take in a deep breath and swallow hard.
“Indy, please tell me that motherfucker isn’t still walking around after what he did to you? Please tell me you turned him in, and he is sitting in a prison cell rotting the fuck away,” Atlas begs, his brows creased and the hand not touching me, has formed into a fist.
“No, he is not in prison. He lives with his wife, still, they live in Leesburg, Virginia, even though all three of their children moved close to Riverside, only months after I did. Her birth certificate does not have a father listed, and it’s not like he can come and try to take her from me, because then it will let everyone know what a sick fucker he is.”
He and Sonya have never met Haven, I haven’t seen them since they kicked me out at seventeen and I went back to the group home I started in. But I think I did okay, given the circumstances.
“I graduated high school summa cum laude, with no one helping me or guiding me. I went to college and majored in ASL Interpreting and a minor in Deaf Studies, graduating at the top of the class, with a 4.0 GPA, summa cum laude. I did all this while working part time and raising a child on my own who was deaf.
“My caseworker helped me get a home, transportation and childcare so I could earn a degree. I wanted to show her that it was worth taking a chance on me, so I worked hard andstudied harder. I succeeded,” I say this time with some umph, because, dammit, I am proud of me.
“You amaze me, Indy. I am blown away by your courage and tenacity, I can’t believe how lucky I am to be called yours.”
I feel a huge weight off my chest, glad that it is out in the open. Maybe now he understands why I was so hesitant when it came to our relationship and with him meeting my daughter.
I throw my arms around his neck, my mouth slamming against his. My tongue slides across his bottom lip seeking access, as soon as he grants me entrance, the frenzy begins, we are completely locked in to one another, nothing around us exists, it is just Atlas and Indya.
“Make me feel good, Atlas. Give me something that will overpower the feelings that are running through my veins and imbedded in my soul. Help me rip the last shreds of that terrible act from me. Please, I want you to make love to me, Atlas. I want you to love me like no one has loved me. Love me because you want to love me, not for pity, or obligation, love me for—me.”
“I do love you for you, Indya. Are you sure you want to go there tonight? That was some heavy shit you just laid out. I don’t want you to regret anything with me, especially when we connect like that for the first time. Because I am only going to tell you this once, once I am inside of you, you are mine. I am never letting you go. So, you need to think really hard on what you want right now, and let me know,” Atlas says, giving me a way out, looking concerned. He thinks this is my emotions talking. It’s not.
“I want to. I am already yours, Atlas. Heart, mind, body, and soul. I love you. I want this with only you,” I whisper.
As soon as the words leave my lips, his mouth presses hard against mine. His hand holding my face as he deepens his kiss. He moves from my mouth, kissing down my neck, while I am trying to rip off his clothes and get mine off in the same instance. His mouth feels so good.
“If you want to stop, tell me, and we will stop right there. No matter how deep I am in you, I will stop. I will never hurt you in any way if I can help it. You do understand that, right? I love you more than life. I promise I will protect you with everything I am. So, I need you to be completely sure this is what you want.” He pauses for a moment, searching every inch of my face, wanting me to be positive about my decision.
I must look hesitant because Atlas grabs my waist lifting me to sit on his lap, so I am facing him. I may as well tell him the very last thing about me and hope he doesn’t turn me down when I finish telling him.
“I do want this, Atlas. I want to choose who I let inside of me, not have that choice taken away. I want to feel you so deep inside of me, I will feel you for weeks. Can I ask you something that is a little personal?” I am so nervous asking him this question, because I am not sure if I want to know the answer. He only nods his head in agreement, and again, I take another deep breath.
“When was the last time you had sex and when was the last time you went without a condom?” I can feel my face heat up from the intimate question.
His eyes widen as though, he was not expecting those to be the questions that I asked him. His thumb rubs the blush of my cheeks, making them redden more, I avert my eyes to my lap, embarrassed.
His forefinger and thumb hook my chin, lifting, so that I am looking into his eyes.
“I have never had sex without a condom in my life. The last time I had sex with anyone, but my hand was a little over a year ago. I have been tested multiple times since then as it is one of the teams' requirements. What about you, same questions?”
“Oh, um, well, obviously there was unprotected sex that caused me to get pregnan—” Atlas cuts me off before I can finish.His face looks angry, the veins pulsing in his neck and pumped up on his arms.
“That does not count for anything. Even if Haven came out of that mess, you never, ever, counthimas one of your times. I don’t care if you have slept with five hundred men, or women, fuck, or both, as long as he is never a thought in your mind. He no longer exists, deal?”
“Deal. In that case, um, I’m still a virgin. I have never trusted another man to be intimate with until you. You make me feel safe, protected, and loved. Also, I was tested when I went to my first prenatal appointment, and again at the six-week check-up postnatal. I don’t want anything between us. I am covered, I have the implant. If you don’t feel comfortable with that it is okay,” I say wanting to make sure that it is his choice if he wants to put his cock into someone bare. Who am I to take away his choice.
“I would love nothing more than to slide into your hot wet pussy and take you bare, Indy. Once I am inside you raw, you are mine. I hope you know, you are not sleeping tonight, I will have you every way I have ever fantasized about since seeing you for the first time, fuck, the things I’m going to do to this little body,” Atlas growls, the heat in his eyes burning bright.
Atlas begins his descent again, removing the rest of my clothing as he goes. I look down at him to see why he stopped, and those green eyes are no longer green. They look black, with just a ring of green around the edges, and hungry.
“Prop yourself up on some of those pillows so you can watch me make a meal out of you,” Atlas growls, as he licks his lips.
I do as he says, and once I am propped up, his hands take each of my ankles, bending my knees, as he pushes them towards my butt. My heels are pressed snuggly against my lower ass, while Atlas smooths his hands from my ankles to my knees,spreading them slowly. I can feel my face heat, his eyes are staring directly into my pussy, seeing everything I have to offer.
