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“I need you to know how proud I am of you, Charlotte. How sorry I am for how I treated you. I’m sorry I didn’t love you the way I should have, but I’m hoping I can make up for it.”
“I hope you realize how difficult coming here today was for me and while I’m not sure I’m ready to move on as if nothing happened, I do see how much you’ve tried to work on yourself.” I scanned the pictures on his walls of me and Olivia when we were younger. They were framed and hung to be displayed proudly. “Maybe the first place to start is if you could call me Lottie. I’ve never really liked Charlotte. It always makes me feel like I’m getting in trouble.”
My father’s eyes widened at my small peace offering. I was insinuating that there would be another time where he could call me by Lottie and that we’d see each other again. “I can do that, Lottie.”
I gave him a short nod before I slowly started walking toward the door. But just before my hand landed on the doorknob, I noticed a framed photo on the wall next to the door. It was a picture of me and Nolan this season, celebrating a win after he’d come back from his injury. It felt wrong that he had a picture of the two of us in his house. He was the man who broke my heart and Nolan was the one that loved me despite my brokenness.
“I know you were working mostly with Nolan Hill this season. I’ve been trying to keep up on the team, if only to stay up to date on you.” My father looked at me sheepishly. “I gave up watchingfootball after everything that happened. The program told me to treat it like an addiction. I only follow along in articles the day after the games.”
“Thank you for letting me stop by,” I told him. I hesitated once more. “I am happy for you and what you’ve done with your life.”
“Of course,” he hurried to reply. “That means a lot, by the way, to hear you say that you can see that I’m making an effort to change.”
I took one last look at the picture on the wall before I walked out of my father’s house with a new realization. He was right. If I wanted something, I’d find a way to get it. Because the man who broke my heart was never going to be the one to heal it in the first place.
That was all up to me.
Chapter 34
Nolan
Leading up to today’s game, I had managed to compartmentalize my life. All my issues with Lottie had been put in a crate and shoved to the back of my mind so I could focus for my team. That didn’t mean I didn’t wake up in the mornings and reach for the empty side of my bed, wishing she was there.
This is it.
Today’s the day.
You’ll put that jersey on one last time and then you’ll take it off for the very last time.
I studied myself in the mirror of my hotel room. I had picked out my favorite suit for today’s game. When I got up this morning, I didn’t change a single thing of my normal routine. I ordered room service—two eggs over-easy with three strips of turkey bacon and orange juice. I showered and took my time getting ready, trying to treat today like it was any other game day.
My phone rang, pulling my attention away from my reflection.
“Nolan,” my mother’s voice came across the line. “How are you doing?”
I stuck the phone in between my ear and shoulder as I placed my bag by the door for when it was time to head down to the team bus.
“I’m doing okay, Ma,” I told her. “Are you guys heading to the stadium soon?”
“We are. Hey, I don’t want to take up too much of your time before the game. I know how you need it to prepare. Your dad and I just wanted to tell you that we love you and that we’re proud of you.”
My heart squeezed. My parents had been on this crazy ride just as much as I had. They were the ones that took me to every practice or game growing up. They were the ones that made sure my uniform was perfectly white after I got grass stains all over it. They were the ones that helped me through college so I could chase my dreams. Now they were watching me reach for one last dream today before this was gone. Today wasn’t just for me. It was for them, too.
“Thanks, Ma. I love you guys, too. Thanks for everything all these years,” I told her. My hand squeezed my phone tightly as I fought to keep the tears from falling. It was too early to cry yet today.
I grabbed my bag as soon as I hung up the call with my mother. The elevator was empty as I took it down to the lobby. As soon as I stepped out, I saw every television turned to the pregame broadcast. Analysts were talking about each team’s odds for winning today.
“Nolan Hill may just be playing his very last game today. He’s not just playing against San Diego today; he’s playing against time as he tries to soak up every moment the day has to offer.”
“Are you ready, champ?” Derek came up from behind me.
“Are you?” I asked.
Derek let out a chuckle as he wrapped his arm around my neck. “When am I evernotready, Nolan?”
I reached up to ruffle Derek’s perfectly styled hair, earning a punch to my gut in return.
“You and me, buddy?” Derek asked as we walked out to the buses.
