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“What about the bucket list?” I asked, hoping to transition away from a heavy topic to give her a moment.
That beautiful smile that was beginning to feel like the sun itself finally reappeared. “That was all Olivia’s idea after I told her I’d felt like I’d missed out on too much of my life.”
“What’s on it?”
“Well, you know about the whole date thing and the sunrise.” Lottie paused as if she were debating saying something else, before she thought better of it. “Then there’s just some things on there that I feel like both Olivia and I missed out on as kids—wear PJs on Christmas morning, have a real Thanksgiving, go sledding, kiss someone on New Year’s Eve, and then Olivia and Maggie made me put down having a day where I say yes to everything.”
My heart broke for the girl that never got to experience any of the things that Lottie listed off. This beautiful girl sitting across the table from me deserved all those experiences and more.
“Seeing as we haven’t made it to the holidays yet, what have you marked off besides the sunrise in New York?” Warmth blossomed in my chest that I got to be a small part of this adventure for her.
“Well, as you know I’m actively trying to cross off the dating one.”
I nodded my head and tried to ignore the way my jaw clenched at the thought of any other guy taking her out on a date, especially on the shitty ones she’d been on. “What does it take to cross that one off?”
Lottie paused again and I watched a red the color of the wine in our glasses spread across her cheeks. “I want to feel the spark with someone.”
“A spark?” I asked.
“You know,” she mumbled as she waved her hands around like that would help me get the point easier. “Like in the movies. I don’t want to settle for cohabitation with someone. I want to feel that spark. The kind of love you see in an old couple that still dances on the dance floor of weddings and smile at each other like they’re still that young couple in love.”
“And you thought Henry and Cole were going to give you that spark?” I teased.
“Hey!” But that infectious smile came back out for just a moment.
Silence stretched between us as it became obvious we were both thinking about the fact that we were on adate, and that I could either join the list with Henry and Cole or this could morph into something else entirely.
The memory of her legs on either side of my waist as we devoured each other in the bathroom at the club flashed through my mind. Electricity had raced through every inch of my body as soon as my hands touched her skin. Something had been set off inside of me that night, no longer willing to be ignored. And again tonight, that same feeling came roaring back up to the front. IlikedLottie and I wanted to be the person who made her feel alive, that gave her exactly what she was looking for. I could only hope that she’d eventually feel the same way.
“Well, I hope you find the right person. I think you deserve that,” I told her, because I truly meant it. I was on a quest to achieve one last moment at the top of the mountain while Lottie was in search of a different kind of view than what she’d already managed to accomplish seeing. I found it inspiring that she had identified what she wanted next in her life and was doing what she could to achieve those things. I only hoped that I managed to do the same for myself.
Lottie’s eyes softened as she looked at me over the candlelight flickering in the middle of the table. Those beautiful red lips pulled upwards to form the hint of a smile.
“Maybe I will,” she replied with a small shrug of her shoulders. The temperature in the room felt like it rose about ten degrees as Lottie gave me a sultry look before she stood up from the table, wine glass in hand, and started to walk around my apartment.
I quickly grabbed my own glass of wine and moved to follow her. Lottie walked the wall of windows that made up one side of my apartment. I looked out over downtown Chicago and had theperfect view of Lake Michigan with Gateway Stadium off in the distance.
“I’m not sure I pictured you as a penthouse kind of guy,” Lottie told me as she took in the view while sipping on her wine.
“It was one of the first purchases I made off my first contract after being drafted besides paying off my parents’ mortgage.”
Lottie’s eyes flashed with surprise as if she hadn’t pictured me doing anything nice.
I wish she could have seen me when I first entered the league—excited, happy, and not yet jaded by life.
“My mom wanted me to get a nice house in one of the suburbs, but as a twenty-two-year-old, that didn’t sound as exciting as a penthouse in downtown Chicago.”
“Would you ever live in the suburbs?” Lottie asked after she turned away from the view and started looking at my very minimal decor.
“I think after I retire, I’ll look at selling this place. It’s never felt like home. It’s only ever felt like a place to sleep and eat.”
“I get that,” Lottie told me as she looked at the MVP trophies I had displayed in my living room next to the only picture I had in the entire apartment—a picture of me with my parents right after my first Super Bowl win. “I’m not sure I’ve ever had a place that really felt like a home.”
Lottie’s fingers reached out to barely touch the glass of the picture frame.
My heart ached and pulled me toward her until my chest was pressed into her back, much like we were on the dance floor just the night before. Everything in me wanted to kiss Lottie from the moment I watched her bound down the stairs of her apartment building. That infectious smile that warmed the fractures in my heart. Lottie had gone through so much in her life, yet she never let any of that slow her down. She dealt withparents that didn’t give their children the love they deserved. She dealt with people doubting her or talking down on her worth just because she dared to be a woman taking up space in a man’s world.
All I wanted to do was kiss the hurt away inside of her and try my best to make her feel even a little bit better. So I wrapped my arm around her waist and spun her so her chest was pressed against mine before lowering my mouth to hers. Touching her was like an addiction and one that I never wanted to have to give up.
