AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Ian steps out from behind the doorframe and into the hall, walking toward me with a look of concern. My mouth dries out, and all thoughts of ghosts evaporate as my eyes sweep over his body.
This is most definitely not the boy I knew all those years ago. I knew he was fit, but I didn’t know he wasthisfit. His flannel pants sit low on his hips, that dusting of hair trailing from his stomach to beneath those same flannel pants teasing me. Naturally, his shirt went missing at some point, his bare, muscular chest and abs on full display for me as he steps closer.
What is it with this stupid hallway?
I take a step backward as he gets closer. The closer he gets, the less of his body I can see. He stops in the middle of the hall before changing his mind and heading into his room. As I turn to do the same, he comes out with a blanket and pillow in his arms.
“What are you doing?” I ask, my eyebrows knitting together. I’m secretly hoping he’s doing what I think he’s doing. Even if I want to hate him, he’s still my safe haven in this evil house.
“Keeping guard,” he answers back before he pushes past me with his arms full of blankets and disappears into my room behind me. “Come on; let’s go back to bed,” he says, and I twirl to see him making his spot on the couch.
My heart is doing backflips in my chest as I watch him get situated. His muscles flexing as he lies down, putting his arms behind his head. Flashing that crooked smile at me like everything that happened tonight between us was just a fever dream of my own making.
I look at the empty bed and see my mom’s diary sitting on the pillow. I don’t remember moving it, but I must have during my nightmare.
Do I want to sleep with my mother’s ghost? Or should I choose the lesser of two evils and beg Ian to keep me safe in his arms...just for tonight? Will he even let me after I yelled at him to stay away from me?
I walk to the bed hesitantly, grabbing the diary and holding it to my chest, then over to the couch he’s lying on. Our eyes meet, and his gaze feels like an exposed wire touching my skin as his eyes travel up and down my body. I’m not wearing anything special, just a purple sleep tank and matching shorts, but he makes me feel like I’m wearing nothing.
Exposing me from the inside out like only he can.
I open my mouth to ask if I can sleep with him, just for tonight. Before I say anything, he shifts his body against the couch, leaving a space made just for me. He nods his head toward the spot, and that shy smile from our childhood tugs at his lips as I move closer.
He doesn’t wrap his arms around me like I want him to, but his presence next to me is enough to make me feel safe again. I press my back against his chest as he moves one of his arms under the pillow we are sharing, lying his other arm across my hip and down my thigh.
“Will you read this with me?” I ask him quietly, holding my mother’s diary up between us. I don’t think I have the strength to read it on my own, and I’m still not sure I want to know what she wrote. But it feels like a weakness to ignore it.
Ian takes the diary from me carefully, shifting his arm from underneath my pillow and opening the book in front of us. “Of course, why don’t I read it to you while you try to sleep. Like we used to?”
“I’d love that,” I whisper, snuggling closer while his voice reads my mother’s most coveted thoughts.
10
Ian
Now
Iopen the diary gently, the old pages warped and frayed on the edges as Georgia leans closer to me. Never in a million years did I think I’d be sitting here, reading another story to her while she calms herself enough to fall asleep after a horriblenightmare. I thought I ruined every chance of this the moment I left her all those years ago.
The biggest mistake of my life, but one I needed to make for her.
“Did you forget how to read after all those medical journals broke your brain?” Georgia teases. How I’ve missed this woman and her smart-ass mouth.
“Pretty sure they would have fired me by now. Nothing screams Dr. Lawsuit like forgetting how to read the correct dosage to give a patient,” I joke back.
I pull the diary closer and turn to the first page.
Dear Georgia,
I know this is my diary, so I pray that you never see it. But if you do, this is proof of just how much I truly love and cherish you. More than my whole life, my darling girl. Today I sat at the willow tree and watched you play with the twins. You and Irene were princesses who had been stolen by an angry dragon, holding you prisoners in the giant tower. Ian was the brave knight that came to your rescue, his sword a giant wooden branch he pulled from under the tree. Barely four years old, and the three of you have more imagination than anyone could muster up. The laughter from all of you always fills me with so much joy. You asked me this morning why you didn’t have a sibling...And I lied and told you it was because you were so special that I didn’t want to share any of my love for you with another child. But that isn’t true. Your father and I tried for years after you were born, and I suffered so many losses. As I write this, I am currently going through another one. I think that’s why I decided to finally start writing this diary thatyou and your father gifted me for Christmas last year. This is my reminder that it’s okay to be sad, to feel the ugly, angry feelings I feel, while also being full of so much gratitude for you. It’s okay to feel both sadness and hope. And I think I’m writing this to you because it’s all the things I wish I could tell you. My littlest best friend. I wish I could give you all the siblings in the world. I wish more than anything that my body wasn’t a traitorous monster, like the dragon in your game. Instead of stealing the princesses, my dragon steals all my hope for the future.
Except you, never you, my darling girl.
You are my sunlight in a world full of such darkness.
Never, ever forget that, my littlest love.
Love always,
