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‘No, don’t worry.’
She walked with him to the front door and waved to her assistant, who was using a side gate to reach the surgery. ‘I’ll be there in a minute, Jane,’ she called.
‘Don’t hurry,’ Jane called back, smiling broadly when she saw Will.
Lucy looked unhappy. ‘Make sure you come and see me before you go,’ she told him.
‘Yes, of course.’
Her mouth trembled and she blinked.
He said inadequately, ‘Thanks for breakfast.’ And then he dipped his head and kissed her cheek.
Lucy mumbled something about a very busy day, gave him a brief unhappy wave, and then shut the door.
After Will left, her day proved to be even busier than she’d expected, but every so often as she worked, she would remember.
I’m pregnant.
Excitement fizzed inside her and she hugged herself in secret glee. She’d been waiting for this for so long. She couldn’t help thinking about all those busy cells inside her, forming their baby.
Their baby.
Wow.
There was no time to celebrate, however. As well as her usual line up of patients, she had to perform emergency surgery on an elderly dog and she found the work unusually stressful. She was very fond of this sweet, black and white cocker spaniel. He’d been one of her first patients when she’d started working in Willowbank.
She would do what she could for him now, but she feared he was nearing the end of his days. His owner would be distraught when his time was up.
If that wasn’t enough to dampen Lucy’s spirits, she was upset about Will. She couldn’t stop thinking about him, felt utterly miserable at the thought of him going away.
Again.
How could she bear it?
The threat of his impending departure had made her snappy with him this morning and she felt bad about that, after he’d been so excited. But how could she not be upset by the thought of saying goodbye?
She loved Will.
Letting him go felt like cutting out a vital organ. Whenever she pictured him leaving, she grew angry again. How could Will pretend to be terribly concerned about her and then take off to the wilds of a New Guinea jungle?
How could he leave her so soon? So easily?
All day, her mind churned with things she wished she’d told him. But the crux of her problem was hard to admit – their friendship plan was a farce.
It was rubbish.
Sharing responsibility for a child required a commitment that went way beyond friendship.
And she and Will had already shared a beautiful intimacy that she could never classify as friendship.
Maybe it was easier for guys to be interested in sex without actually being in love, but she’d never been brave enough to be honest with Will about her feelings, so wasn’t it possible that he’d hidden some of his feelings as well?
Should she try to find out?
It was crazy that she was still afraid to tell him the truth about her feelings. She’d always be worried that her disclosure might shock him, that she might alienate him completely. But today she felt different.
Determined.
