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The possibility of him rejecting me was far too fresh. It sank like a bowling ball in my stomach.
I thought it over during the drive home. I let the scene play out in my mind as I folded my clothes and changed the sheets on my bed. I thought about it when I tried watching a show on Netflix and ended up missing so much of it I shut it off.
Gently, I tossed the remote onto the empty couch beside me.
“Empty cushions,” I said, staring around.
Only my keys hung on the peg by the door. Only my purse dangled on the three available hooks beside the keys. My shoes sat solitary on the mat. I’d had dinner with Mom tonight, but if she hadn’t called, chances were I would have eaten here.
By myself.
I pictured Boone doing the same, day after day. Working with Hazelnut. Undoing her harness. Parking the sleigh and feeding the horse before setting out for his remote, lonely cottage.
Cooking some kind of meal by himself. Eating that meal alone at his table. Sitting by the fire with a book.
Empty couch cushions.
Flames filled my face as I remembered sharing that couch with him. I’d gone from being completely alone and near to freezing in the bedroom—by myself—to joining him, sharing the fire, the light, the blanket. And then my innermost thoughts—and his.
“He said he believed,” I muttered to the room.
I needed to help him believe in more than just magic.
With that thought, it was like a shaft had been opened in my mind. And every other thought dropped into my mind like newly fallen snow.
Goosebumps lifted the hairs on my arms. A feeling of certainty shook away the fear that lodged into my chest. If I chose to stay here in Scottsdale, nothing would ever change. I would come home to an empty apartment, eat all my meals alone, sleep alone, be alone.
And then I’d have constant reminders of my aloneness because Mom wouldn’t stop trying to set me up.
Or, I could act.
Make a believer of him, too. A believer in love and in second chances at it.
After Junie had admitted me into my actual room, she’d accompanied me to check my towels and ensure things were to my liking.
“We’re short-staffed,” she’d said.
Did that mean they were hiring? There was only one way to find out.
The next day, I waltzed into work, headed for my boss’s office, and gave my notice. Two weeks should give me time to settle everything, pack, find someone to buy the contract on my apartment, and contact Junie.
I also had just enough time to finish my book. With nervous anticipation, I sent the draft off to my beta readers for their feedback.
Before I knew it, I was saying goodbye to my parents and boarding one more plane, carrying a lot more luggage this time.
“O’er the fields we go,” I said, gripping a suitcase in each hand as I approached the onboarding line to check in my bags.
Maybe it was cheesy, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the lyrics toJingle Bellswith every step I took. It was the song that had pushed Boone and me together in the first place, after all.
I wasn’t quite laughing all the way, but I also couldn’t manage to wipe the smile from my face the entire way through security and while waiting at my boarding gate.
I was doing this. I wasreallydoing this.
The cramped airline seats around me weren’t necessarily one-horse open sleighs, but they still made my spirits bright. The idea of a radio from Santa coming to life and spreading Christmas magic through song to bring people love was crazy.
So, so crazy.
Even so, no sense in letting a good amount of crazy go to waste. I just hoped that Boone would be open to seeing me again after all of this. But as he’d said, it was worth the risk.
