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Chapter Thirty-Seven
JESSE
My mind wasall over the place. One second, I thought I’d be saying bye to Easton; the next, I was begging him to take me upstairs. Even as we made love, I treated it as if it was the last time we’d ever touch. But now that he was standing in front of me, looking defeated and pissed, I wanted to take it all away.
While my brain was trying to retreat and save us from the inevitable, every ounce of my heart was beating for him. He was desperately trying to make me realize how much he cared for me, and I could see it, despite the excuses I kept giving myself.
Stay strong.
Protect Max.
Don’t lose focus.
Habits. My excuses had been repeated so many times that I’d created a mantra that I thought made sense and made me comfortable. I needed to break the cycle, but I wasn’t sure I was strong enough yet.
“I’m sorry,” I swallowed, moving closer to Easton. He was still reeling from the realization that Rory had intentionallycreated an issue, but he locked eyes with me when he heard me speak. “I never should have let the gossip get to me. I think I was just needing to find a reason to end this. Something that would make what I felt was the right decision, a little easier to swallow.”
“I’m not upset that you believed anything you heard, I’m upset that it's even a thing. Rory has always had a crush on me, but I truly have never seen her act the way she has been. She told me she’s seeing someone, that she’s moved on.”
“I don’t even know where to go from here.” I covered my face with my hands and spun on my heels, heading back to the bathroom to try and find a safe place for the impending meltdown I knew was coming. The afternoon I had planned and thought I had prepared for was going up in flames.
But before I reached the door, Easton’s hands snuck around my waist, pulling me back against his chest. His mouth hovered over my ear, and I could feel his heart beating against my back. His breath against my ear sent chills down my spine despite his arms making me feel warm, and it took everything in me not to let myself surrender in his hold.
“I love you,” he whispered. “I don’t know how you feel, where your head's at, or what else I can do to make sure you feel safe with me. Max, too. I love him so much. I'll be anything for him.”
Then it was gone.
His lips. His arms. His warmth.
I spun around and saw him pulling his shirt over his head and running a hand through his hair. He was leaving, which was supposed to be what I wanted, but I wasn’t so sure anymore.
“I’m scared,” I confessed, unable to move my feet to get closer to him.
“I know.”
“I’m alone,” I added, the emotion bubbling up and threatening to choke me.
“We’ve never been alone. Remember? Plus,” he moved toward me again, wrapping me into his arms and looking down into my eyes. “This isn’t the end of our story. Could you imagine the number of books that would be thrown across the room if you and I had a third-act break up?”
I wanted to laugh at the reminder of how much I hated that third-act breakup. I wanted to wipe away the last fifteen minutes and pretend it never happened. But it had, and I was too embarrassed and sad to do anything except fight off the unshed tears that threatened to spill from my eyes.
“I don’t think I’m done,” I finally admitted. “But I don’t know how to move forward when being alone is all I’ve known for so long.”
“You came to Harmony Haven for a fresh start. And I know I wasn’t part of your plans, but maybe I was always supposed to be part of your new beginning.”
Easton’s eyes flashed with a mixture of pain and love. He looked desperate, but with a resolve that I had never seen before.
“I gotta go,” he sighed. “I need to handle the trouble that Rory has created.”
“Please come back,” I practically begged.
He lifted his hand to my cheek and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Take some time. I wanna give you everything you want and need, and that includes the space you called me here to ask for. But I promise I’ll keep fighting for you.”
He placed a soft kiss on my lips as I nodded, accepting his words and reasoning. It wouldn’t be too much longer and I would need to go get Max from school, anyway. I’d be able to think more clearly with Easton gone, and Max home.
Easton pulled his lips away from mine, then turned to leave my room. I watched as he disappeared into the hallway, and listened as his footsteps darted down the wooden staircase. Itwasn’t until I heard the door shut and his truck rev to life that I finally sank down onto the floor.
