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“You’re not being fair!” It was wrong of me to say, but it had the effect I wanted. She turned quickly to scowl at me and started marching back toward me.
“Not fair? What the fuck is fair?” She lifted her dress, taking me by surprise. I wasn't sure what she was trying to do, but on the beach in the evening light wasn't the place to do it.
But then I saw it, the tracks of scars, the traces of the pain she inflicted upon herself. I had seen every inch of her before, and those were new. But they weren’t fresh.
“Wren…” I breathed, trailing off, not being sure what else to say.
“This is how I coped with you being gone… again. This is what you did to me.”
“No.” I fell to my knees in front of her, tears pricking my eyes. Nothing had ever made me cry—nothing! But seeing Wren’s beautiful skin marred with pain was almost more than I could handle.
She let me run my hand over the ridges, up and down, assessing how deep and long they were.
“Did they know about this?” I had to ask. If they knew and no one told me, I would have to kick their ass. I agreed to walk away, but I didn't agree to stop caring, and Lisa and Mrs. Tessier knew that.
“No,” she snapped. “Think they’d let me leave here if they did? Fuck no. This is how I dealt with it on my own.”
Still on my knees, I peered up at her, tears still shining in my eyes. I put both of my hands on the outside of her thighs and squeezed, making her face contort in pain as she looked down at me.
“This isn’t what was supposed to happen. I wanted you to choose me. Not because you needed me, but because you loved me.”
Her eyes widened at my words, and her nostrils flared in disbelief. But when she focused on me, she could see it on my face. It was the truest thing I had ever said.
“Do you love me, Wren?” I whispered, afraid of her answer.
With her lips turned down and the bottom one trembling, she tilted her head in contemplation. She paused and stared long and hard before finally nodding her affirmation.
I nodded with her, telling her without words that I loved her back. She fell to her knees in front of me, and my hands loosened before catching hers.
“I’m sorry I left you, Wren. I’m sorry it caused you so much pain. Physically and emotionally. But I fucking love you, and I was scared to death you didn’t love me back.”
She took a deep breath and stared toward Beachside, making me feel like she was about to stand and flee. I squeezed her hand, ensuring her I was there. I meant what I said, and she wouldn’t be able to run without me holding on tight to her.
Defeat settled in her eyes before she found mine and spoke again.
“It didn't work. Cutting my legs, causing myself pain. The blood. The scars. Nothing made me stop thinking about you. When I realized it wasn't working, I stopped. But I didn’t want drugs or sex or alcohol either, Ro. I wanted love from you. I wanted you.”
“I swear I will never leave you again. I promise you.”
“What am I supposed to do? Hide in your room every night? I have to leave, Ro.”
“No, we can get a place here, together. I can keep my job at Beachside, and we can start over down here. Fuck what your father thinks, what he says. Stay with me.”
“I’m scared. You scare me more than Kane ever did.”
It stung hearing those words, but it was a different fear. “Likewise, baby. You scare the fuck out of me.”
She smiled. It was a little, but she smiled. My heart almost exploded because it was the first time since she walked down here that I sawmyWren. Not the one she showed me when she first arrived, or the one who left my ass on the horse, but the one who lay with me in bed night after night, laughing and getting to know one another on a deeper level.
The one I fell in love with.
“You love me?” she asked as if I hadn’t said it.
“Yeah,” I breathed. “I’ve been here every day watching you, waiting for you.”
“I get it, Ro.” She closed her eyes and squeezed my hands. “Up until I stopped cutting, I’m not sure I believed me either. But fuck, I love you. This isn’t an addiction or a fix. This is my heart, not my head. And I cannot handle you leaving me ever again.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
