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It wasn’t easy and fun. But it served a purpose, staving our lust for one another physically.Erasing the demons I fought off alone.
“I don’t want to be your crutch.” His words played over and over again in my mind, but I wouldn’t voice what I already knew. He was my crutch, and none of me cared.
I’d keep his secret.
The last thing I wanted to do was get him fired. What good would that do me? I’d found my walls slipping the last half an hour or so… like I wanted to try to let him in, knowing it was probably a bad idea anyhow. He seemed almost normal, like a bit of him truly saw me and cared for that person.
For a brief but fleeting second, he didn't see Wren, his hated sister. He saw me. Just a girl wanting to be loved by a boy. The guards had shattered, and he’d been given more than his usual dose of hate.
Having Ro inside me was an experience. He loved as well as he hated, with passion. There was a roughness to it, but also an intimacy I hadn’t felt before, and it threw me off-kilter. As we had sex one last time, I let myself feel it all—the moans, the movement, the feelings as it swept me away.
He kissed me once more before we both left the beach. My fingers danced alongside his as we walked, but we never made the jump to hand holding like earlier. Ro and I were like oil and vinegar. We only mixed well when shaken, but once we were apart, we separated.
When we made it back to the house, we went our separate ways. He smiled before turning to walk down the hall to where I was sure his room was and me walking up the back stairwell to mine. It was an odd feeling being completely with him.
Maybe Ro was meant to deliver me from the evil as it encompassed me all those years ago. Getting to my room, I looked both ways before slowly sliding the door open and closed, hoping no one heard it.
We weren’t on as much restriction as we’d been at the other house, but the last thing I needed was to be seen by another resident. Someone who might share a secret. A secret having the potential to turn into something bigger than either of us would know. Luckily for me, the hallway was clear.
Sitting down on the bed, I conjured up all the events of the night in my mind and played them like a satisfying old-fashioned rerun. Ro had fucked me with wild abandon and desperation, possessing every mangled shard of my broken and ragged soul. Maybe he was the redemption, the something light brought forth to balance out the wicked. A light in the course of darkness surrounding me. A glimmer of hope to this reckless life I’d led.
But he said we would only do this while I was here. What happened when I left? Would we move on like shadows, continuously moving but never in the same direction? I wondered about it. Worried over it. My brain was on overdrive, thinking of everything that could possibly go wrong, but my heart gave few fucks.
It was already leading down the shady path to disappointment. Love wasn’t in the cards for me. Not with Ro, not with anyone. But now, my heart was thinking of other ideas. Maybe we’d ruin each other in the end, but for the moment, I didn’t care.
We could be our own messed-up version of Romeo and Juliet, only we wouldn’t kill ourselves for love. We’d let it die all on its own.
I laid back in the bed and pressed my fingertips to my mouth, closing my eyes and remembering how his soft lips had felt against mine.
Darkness shrouded my room, and my eyes started to close without my permission. It was late, and I had stuff to do in the morning. I needed to rest now, but even in sleep, Ro joined me, only this time he wasn’t the monster.
I didn’t want to wake up from the vivid dreams I was having, but the alarm wouldn’t stop ringing in my ear. A groan slipped from my lips as I rolled over and banged my hand against the side table until I finally hit the right button.
All right, let’s do this,I mentally said to myself before dragging my sorry, tired body from my bed. Dragging ass to the bathroom, I reached over and turned on the shower, allowing it to heat while I stripped. I had a couple of black and blue marks rising on my skin from Ro’s rough handling last night, and I allowed my fingers to drift over them. I liked the way they tarnished my skin. It was almost like a claim, something only he and I would know the cause of.
Once before, I’d had black and blue marks left by Kane, but these were different. These were done in passion instead of hate. Passion and hate were a fine line. Both equal parts emotion, and I teetered between them often. But with Ro, all I saw was the passion part of it. He was still a monster. One time together wouldn’t change everything, but maybe it would shape things pushing farther.
The showerhead rained down on me as I stepped under it and let myself get lost in the steam. I quickly shampooed my hair and gave my body a once-over with soap. I would be running late to breakfast if I took too much longer, and I wanted some time to fully decompress before I found out what was on the table for Ro and me as far as activities flowed for the day.
Maybe paddleboarding or horseback riding again. Somewhere we could get lost without the seeing eyes of the other residents. The only question was, would he give me what I wanted if I simply asked this time?
Shawn waved me over after I grabbed my food in the cafeteria line.
“Hey, you have a glow today. Tell me everything.” He leaned in and whispered as I sat down.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I laughed, trying to play it off like it wasn’t a big deal. Even though my inner girl was high-fiving herself.
“Nuh-uh. Don’t give me crap, dish.”
“Nothing. I took a little walk down by the beach last night.”
“What and Mr. Bossy happened to find you on the way and gave you the ride of your life?”
“Ew, no. He gives me the biggest headache,” I lied straight through my teeth. It was less about wanting Shawn to find out and more about word spreading Ro was sleeping with his patient. I had a feeling Shawn wouldn’t spill, but I had to keep this secret close. Even he couldn’t know.
He laughed it off and kept talking about something else while my mind drifted off to the night before. I couldn’t stop it. Ro and me in the shack, on the beach. The way he’d felt. The way his lips… “Hey, boo. Were you listening to anything I just said?”
“No, sorry. What’s up?”
