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I hoped I would feel the same insane attraction I did to him that night we met.
But I didn’t.
I found myself tempted to call Ethan. Talk to him. Tell him about the day.
I missed him.
I wanted him.
I felt like meeting up with Ty was cheating on Ethan somehow.
I felt a hole in my gut and a crack in my heart.
But just like I agreed to do, I stuck with my plan to stay busy and move on. Ty may not have been drawing the same feelings from me as before. But he was the perfect person to help me get over my weekend with Ethan.
Chapter 25
Ethan
You know what sucked?
Me.
My pitching.
I was in a funk that I couldn’t climb out of.
A slump.
After my first game back from the break, I killed Arizona and made all the media deem me “unhittable.” But since then, I had become quite fucking hittable and had lost my last two starts.
Any ideas I had of fucking Madison out of my system with someone else fell flat. I didn’t want to replace her on my body with someone else, someone nameless. Now that I wasn’t worried about Madison’s virginity being lost in some bar bathroom, I should have felt freer to fuck around again. But I didn’t and I had bailed on Eddie again and again, never being able to follow through with our nights out.
I managed not to tell anyone that I slept with Madison, but everyone noticed I hadn’t been talking to her. They assumed it was why I had beenoff. Eddie even asked me straight up if that was the reason. So I shoved him against a locker and told him to fuck off.
Not my finest moment.
But ultimately, Madison was the reason I was fucked. And not in a good way. Sex with her was one thing. But it led to us not talking for a month. Us not talking was messing with my head. And my head was throwing pitches behind the batters in humiliating fashion.
I should have probably regretted the sex since this is what it had come to. But I didn't. Not even a little bit.
In fact, I would do it again.
But that wasn’t possible. We made a deal and we were sticking to it.
Luckily, we were headed home for a week and playing the worst team in the league. Hopefully, it was just the set up I needed to get my shit together. Plus, we had a few nights off inmycity, where everyone knew my name. All bets were off.
I was getting Madison out of my head and off my body if it was the last thing I did.
???
The first game back in Atlanta was a blowout and the team decided a night out was our reward. I didn’t pitch, and I wasn’t scheduled to pitch the next night either. So I joined in on the team reward.
It was all part of my plan.
By the time I was scheduled to pitch again on Monday, I would be back in my pre-All-star form. Back to being the best pitcher in the league. Back to being who I was before New York.
Exactly who I wanted to be.
