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“What’s that?”
“I love coffee in a rainstorm.”
He smiles at me, the edges of his eyes crinkling.
“Now you tell me something,” I say.
He thinks for a moment, his eyes searching. Then his fingers curl in mine and he says, “Just being near you ... it feels like all my rough edges are smoothed out. You make me feel like I can?—”
“Fly?”
“Get in the water again.”
I push off his chest and sit up. “You’d swim again?”
His jaw tightens and he gets a faraway look in his eyes, as if he’s considering the hundreds of kilometers he’d swim alone. Through currents, through shark-infested waters, through jellyfish stings and storms. “Before, when I thought about it, I could only see me, alone. If I lost myself again I’d be on my own. Now I see you there too.”
Me.
He means me, me.
Not the Becca who loves Robert. Who wants to leave the island. Who married Aaron as a friend to be a parent to their baby.
He means me.
He’s willing to dive into the water again. Face his fears.
Because he sees me there.
Am I willing to do that too?
To dive fully into love?
“I’ll be there,” I tell him. “If you need me, I’ll come in after you.”
He smiles at that, thinking I can’t swim. He’d be surprised.
“I didn’t mean you being on the boat. I meant in my life.”
I smile at him. “I know. Will you kiss me now?”
The rain is still lashing against the roof. The wind shudders over the house.
He pulls me to him and I straddle his lap. My T-shirt rides up and I feel the heat of him thick against me.
I sink against him. Then he takes my mouth in a soft, slow kiss, gentle and seeking, the opposite of the raging storm. I dig my hands through his hair, pull his mouth against mine.
I taste coffee and shared confidences, longing and dreams, and in the silence after the kiss, in that quiet moment, I lean into him, my heart beating in time with the rain, and I find one more thing.
In the stillness, in the quiet, I find his love.
35
The days leadingup to Friday are spent in juxtaposition. In Geneva I spend long days in the office reviewing our second-quarter numbers, forecasting sales in our new push into emerging markets, and monitoring the progress of production on our new watch. Mila and I picnic on the lake shore, and Daniel joins us on a bike ride in the country. The days are long, summer-rich, with the sun hanging in the sky until late, urging me to stay awake and enjoy the light a little longer.
But I want to sleep. As soon as Mila is tucked into bed I rush to my bedroom, pull the watch from its box, and drop into bed. And into sleep.
On the island the days are filled with cleanup. The howling wind and the driving rain slowly drizzled to a stop until light peeked through the hurricane shutters and singing birds let us know it was safe to venture outside.
